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KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline)
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Posted on 04/27/2006 5:09:36 PM PDT by Chickensoup
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of Palm Springs, CA, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biscuits; blond; brains; duplicatefreeper; multipltescreenname; urbanlegends
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I know the thread will be banished to the cheesehole, but we need some levity.
To: Chickensoup
Old and stinky...just like her biscuit.
2
posted on
04/27/2006 5:11:26 PM PDT
by
Normal4me
To: Chickensoup
This is an OLD internet story. Very dusty.
Needs a link.
3
posted on
04/27/2006 5:11:49 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
To: Chickensoup
This story is ancient. They even covered this one in one of the earliest episodes of mythbusters. I think they declared it feasable.
4
posted on
04/27/2006 5:12:13 PM PDT
by
cripplecreek
(Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
To: Chickensoup
Hello,
OMG, that is so pathetic. But, I am proud that she kept her head during such difficult and scary times...
Glad to be here, MOgirl
5
posted on
04/27/2006 5:12:32 PM PDT
by
MOgirl
(Democrats: The Culture of Treason (and you know what I'm talkin about!))
To: Chickensoup
6
posted on
04/27/2006 5:13:26 PM PDT
by
knews_hound
(When Blogs are Outlawed, only Outlaws will have Blogs.)
To: Chickensoup
I'm in Dallas and here they're celebrating the Pillsbury Doughboy. There are signs all over town that read "he is risen."
7
posted on
04/27/2006 5:15:28 PM PDT
by
ADisciple
To: Chickensoup
A brunette was running up and down a river bank, looking for a way to cross. A blonde on the other side saw her and yelled "What are you doing?" The brunette said "I'm trying to find a way to get to the other side!". The blonde replied "Silly, you are on the other side!".
8
posted on
04/27/2006 5:15:35 PM PDT
by
neodad
(USS Vincennes (CG-49) Freedom's Fortress)
To: cripplecreek
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline)
Sorry. Never heard it before. Figures it is old and stinky, it came from a lib site.
9
posted on
04/27/2006 5:16:11 PM PDT
by
Chickensoup
(The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
To: MOgirl
When the Pilsberry Don makes an offer, you don't refuse.
10
posted on
04/27/2006 5:16:42 PM PDT
by
cripplecreek
(Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
To: Chickensoup
11
posted on
04/27/2006 5:16:45 PM PDT
by
nuconvert
([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: Chickensoup
Should be a fun thread anyway.
12
posted on
04/27/2006 5:17:09 PM PDT
by
cripplecreek
(Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
To: nuconvert
Thanks.
See.
SOMEBODY like me.
13
posted on
04/27/2006 5:17:36 PM PDT
by
Chickensoup
(The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
To: Chickensoup
This has got to be an urban myth now.
The last time I read the identical story with perhaps different names, was about three years ago...
14
posted on
04/27/2006 5:17:36 PM PDT
by
Publius6961
(Multiculturalism is the white flag of a dying country)
To: cripplecreek
Should be a fun thread anyway.
We do always have fun, don't we?
15
posted on
04/27/2006 5:18:15 PM PDT
by
Chickensoup
(The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
To: Chickensoup
You may be sorry about that. LoL
16
posted on
04/27/2006 5:18:29 PM PDT
by
nuconvert
([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: nuconvert
ERROR
Thanks.
See.
SOMEBODY likeS me.
17
posted on
04/27/2006 5:19:32 PM PDT
by
Chickensoup
(The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
To: Chickensoup
You corrected that fast! Lol
18
posted on
04/27/2006 5:20:39 PM PDT
by
nuconvert
([there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: ADisciple
I'm in Dallas and here they're celebrating the Pillsbury Doughboy.
OK here goes.
What do you get when Pilsbury buys out Trojan,
A self rising condom.
19
posted on
04/27/2006 5:21:58 PM PDT
by
calljack
(Sometimes your worst nightmare is just a start.)
To: Chickensoup
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