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KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline)
listserv | Unknown | AP

Posted on 04/27/2006 5:09:36 PM PDT by Chickensoup

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of Palm Springs, CA, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: biscuits; blond; brains; duplicatefreeper; multipltescreenname; urbanlegends
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To: calljack

Does the Pillbury Doughboy ever get yeast infections?


41 posted on 04/30/2006 9:26:38 AM PDT by llevrok (Take me to your blender !)
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To: Chickensoup
Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

I'm sure that you're wondering why I am responding to such an old post. But I received the story via e-mail from my sister this week and was considering posting it myself.

My sister's message, however, contained one subtle change.

Linda is a blonde,and a democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

Small change, big improvement, don't you think?
42 posted on 06/30/2007 8:34:36 AM PDT by redheadtoo
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To: redheadtoo

Small change, big improvement, don’t you think?

Huge improvement!


43 posted on 06/30/2007 5:28:44 PM PDT by Chickensoup (If it is not permitted it is prohibited. Only the goverment can permit....)
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