I Miss Him

self | 04/21/2006 | Pippin

[Pippin]

He may have not been the “perfect dad”, but he is mine and I miss him

He was not always there in my childhood, but when he was, he was my hero.

And I miss him.

We “lost” him in the mid ‘80s, when I say “lost”, I mean not physically, but, in a more “spiritual and emotional way”

I remember many things that he did or said that made me mad or was annoying then

But, man, what I wouldn’t give to have those days back!

I remember how he would mangle Christmas carols every year, changing to the most ridiculous lyrics. But I miss that now.

I remember when I was old enough to vote for the first time, he was a BIG Republican and I would have arguments with him about politics.

As a teenager, I was rebellious and registered as a Democrat just to annoy him.

He’d merely tell me about how his vote would cancel out mine.

At least it got him to start voting again, which he had quit doing since Nixon lost the election of 1960.

But he sure voted for Reagan because I went for Carter in 1980.

I miss that!

By the time I had realized my leanings were more for the right and re-registered as a Republican, he was already loosing his memory and ability for rational thought.

I was standing at a bus stop in downtown Baltimore, on my way home from work the other day when I got to thinking about him. It was a few days after my oldest Niece’s wedding. How proud and excited he would have been at the marriage of his oldest Granddaughter. And how much he would enjoy his first Great Grandchild, my brother’s oldest son’s daughter, and how he would have been excited by the changes to our family.

I often wonder how he would react to all that is going on in today’s world; I wonder what he would think of President Bush and the War on Terror and the Lefts hatred of this good man.

I wonder would he be for or against the war in Iraq and would he want Rumsfeld to resign.

What would he think of Condoleeza Rice as Secretary of State?

I miss the discussions we would have had and the opportunity to talk to him about 09/11/01.

which to this day he does not know even happen.

maybe there is something to be said about not knowing or not even being told about a significant event,

but I bet, had he been aware of everything, he would’ve called for Osama’s head, LOL!

I think it is unfair for him to miss all this and the things going on in his own family

I think it is unfair that I have no one to discuss my fears

as well as my admiration for the president and his cabinet.

To vote as a Republican by his side, I would have been so happy and he would have been so glad I saw the light.

[yellowdoghunter]

You mom really has her hands full. My heart goes out to her. My eyes tear up as I type this. It is so hard on families to go through this.

May God give you and yours the strength and wisdom you will need during these difficult times.

[Pippin]

Thank You, God bless you!

[Guenevere]

It's hard.
And you've been part of this for a long, long time...over 20 years?

I'm so sorry.
...My mom died this past summer from Alzheimers......it's hard.

[Pippin]

Sorry to hear aqbout your mom.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Just remember, she is with the Lord and she no longer has altzheimers.

Remeber when President Reagan died, the last minutes of life he recognized his wife.

that convinces me there's no one with any ailments or deseases in Heaven :o)

[Pippin]

At noon they play the National Anthem on WPOC in Baltimore

My dad would have stood up for that.

[Coldwater Creek]

Caregivers have it a lot harder than the person on the receiving end.

I hope that you and your siblings if you have any will give your mom a break once in a while.

[Coldwater Creek]

Stop it!!!!!!! If my husband hears me crying he will think that I am mad at him.

[swmobuffalo]

Now that I've cleared up my blurry monitor, I so identify with your post. I lost my WWII veteran father 3 years ago come August. He had a stroke in April and died in August. It was a terrible time. Now that I've "grown up", I'm more like him in his conservative viewpoint. He taught me patriotism, honesty and hard work. I miss him.

[NicknamedBob]

"I promise no weird stuff!"

Then why did you invite me?

Still, as long as I am here, let me dust off this old chestnut ...


Solace



“How are things?” They say to me.
A pleasant friendly inquiry.
How can I tell them how I feel?
They did not know my dream was real.

They thought I seemed content until,
A sadness flooded in to fill,
This heart that you had dwelled inside,
And warmed me in the eventide.

They think that with you gone that I,
Can not find solace though I try.
That with an emptiness in me,
There is no room for ecstasy.

A hollow space would fill me up,
Prevent my drinking from the cup?
How can they think that you would go,
And not remain inside me so?

That you are with me even now,
Your hand in mine as we did vow.
We could not ever come apart,
Because we share each other’s heart.

Your laughter rings in silent rooms,
That others think are soundless tombs.
Your smile can brighten every day.
How can they think you’ve gone away?

My father walks beside me still,
He gives advice, and always will.
My mother sings as she once did,
When lifting up the stewpot’s lid.

The life she spent in serving others,
She gently nurtured in my brothers.
Indeed in all who came around,
Each came to find what she had found.

That life alone is but a seed,
Incapable of worthy deed.
But when the light of love shines in,
The roots take hold, the vines to spin,

Entangling all in matted grip,
That even death can not make slip.
The raindrop tears of daily woes,
Are soaked up in the childlike toes.

And winds of passion and of fear,
Which bring destruction circling near,
Are but the welcome cleansing breeze,
To wash the dust from sturdy trees.

No, I am never quite alone.
I’m filled inside with thoughts my own,
Of days spent laughing, having fun,
Relaxing when our work was done.

They see me smile and think that I,
Just reminisce of days gone by.
They cannot know I feel more joy,
Than when I was a little boy.

I knew not then that pain could hurt,
I didn’t know that girls could flirt,
There was a world I couldn’t see,
And now it lives inside of me.

My struggle now is just to show,
The happiness I’ve come to know.
How can I share with them this thrill?
The ones I love are with me still.


NicknamedBob . . . . . . March 1, 2004

[Pippin]

Thanks, Bob!

[nmh]

Very nice.

He still IS special.

[Pippin]

Thank you!

[nmh]

He's be proud and touched at what you said.

Till you meet again, he's loving you from a distance.

[Pippin]

I had to stop typing several times because I was tearing up as I was typing the post.

[Pippin]

Thanks!

[nmh]

My apologies.

I thought he was in heaven. I didn't read the entire thread. My Dad is going through Alzheimer's so I have some understanding of this.

[Pippin]

That's okay.

[Fintan]

My Dad passed in 1978.

He was, to me, the greatest man to ever walk to face of the planet.

Was he always there for me or my sister? No. He was earning a living. That was (to him) his role in life: Making sure my mother, my sister and me were eating, sleeping safely, educated, safe from harm, available for fun, and most of all, loved.

Was he there when we needed him? Damn right he was. Do I miss him? Every minute of every day.

But he's not gone. He lives in me, always.

And if he he knew I was speaking of him this way, he'd whip my butt from here to next Thursday.

But that's my Dad...

And your Dad too.

 

[Emmett McCarthy]

Yes, we are a large - too large to keep count, I think - family and I'm extremely proud of all of them from top to bottom for the help they give.