Essay Required: Why America Sucks

My Neighbor | Today | Me

[4U2OUI]

Hello, FRiends.

My neighbor's daughter, a junior in high school, told me she is required to write a 1000 word essay on "why America sucks". Her teacher quotes from Zinn, and pretends to be "open-minded".

I recommended she read Swifts, "A Modest Proposal", which she had never heard of, as a guide for crafting a satirical answer to an asinine assignment.

ANY help/insight/wisdom in this matter will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

The other David in Eugene.

[Joe Brower]

How about writing an essay titled, "Why brainwashed left-wing teachers suck."

[Nea Wood]

LOL, that's exactly what she should do, a big title, then a big ol' blank page! Just like those joke books that say "Everything Men Know About Women" or something, and then you open them and they're blank.

[dirtboy]

How about writing an essay titled, "Why brainwashed left-wing teachers suck."

She's writing a 1,000 word essay, not War and Peace.

[Joe Brower]

Heh. Maybe she could just submit the outline.

Nah, you're right -- even that would probably run a couple hundred pages.

[SwinneySwitch]

Why America Sucks?

Why do we have 12 million illegal aliens living in "the shadows" 4 1/2 years after the attack on 9/11?

[Mrs. Darla Ruth Schwerin]

"My neighbor's daughter, a junior in high school, told me she is required to write a 1000 word essay on "why America sucks". Her teacher quotes from Zinn, and pretends to be "open-minded"."

The principal of that school should require the teacher to write, a 1000 word essay on, "why it's good to be employed by the school."

[Quix]

The principal of that school should require the teacher to write, a 1000 word essay on, "why it's good to be employed by the school."

---

Perhaps this would be better and more fitting:

The principal of that school should require the teacher to write, a 1000 word essay on, "why it was good to have been employed by the school."

As a condition of getting any severance pay at all.

[Mrs. Darla Ruth Schwerin]

Hey, that's much, much better. And funnier too! Wish I'd thought of it...

[Quix]

Couldn't have done it without you!

We could also suggest . . .

That she be required to write a 1,000 word essay about

1. The examples, meanings and consequences of treason on the part of ignorant educators.

&/or

2. The classic examples of educator ignorance, blindness, narrowness, rigidity, cluelessness, treason and willful stupidity and their influences on young minds.

&/or

3. Why I will stop teaching and never again show such terminal stupidity, blindness and ignorance in any public setting on my way to early retirement in Dogpatch.

[Little Ray]

A Modest Proposal is a pretty good template. Have her talk about having too many choices and too much responsibility and how much better things would be if they government serfs.

[teacherscum]

Well, I am the teacher you all are discussing and I just thought I'd like to have a chance to share some perspective. The essay is actually titled "The US Stinks". Now this may be just semantics but I wanted to clarify regardless. Also, I am a male age 32 (so the reference to my hippie past might be misguided) and I am a white male (so theories of white male bashing have their limitations as well). The text of the assignment sheet reads as follows:
As citizens of the US, we tend to believe our nation is truly wonderful, as well we should. We are champions of freedom, the protector of the free world. Yet, despite all this, it seems as if many people in the world dislike us. Why? Your job is to evaluate the statement that "the US stinks" as said by random people throughout the world...Obviously, I don't feel this way and I don't think you should either. However, it is always important to see both sides of every story.

Now you may not agree that it is important to see two sides of a story, but that's alright, that's just your side of the story.

I am encouraged by some people's references to me being fired, sued, and maybe even executed like they do in other nations.

If we'd like to pretend that no one dislikes the US that's fine. When teaching contemporary events, I don't have the privilege of doing so. Realize that on no occasion did I ask the student to agree with this statement just to evaluate it. Their evaluation could lead to their belief that it is either justified or not. I suppose you'd want we to make up their mind for them...isn't that what a liberal would do?

For the record, I am a liberal. For some reason I guess you think that matters.

By the way, on occasion, students have opted-out of the assignment for personal reasons. This has always been allowed. Their alternative assignment is simply to change the statement to "The US is wonderful."

I try to encourage my students to understand (not necessarily agree) with different perspectives. It seems as if some would rather wear blinders, which would parallel that statement that ignorance is bliss in some cases. So you're right, everybody loves us.

However, I've wished you hadn't given the wrong impression of my assignment just to have something to sing to the choir about.

By the way, your neighbor's daughter is a sophomore, not a junior, and she's quite the young lady. I am sure your just trying to protect her from liberal revisionism.

You know where to find me, if you'd like to talk...and I mean that with no aggressive tone.

[BJClinton]

America sucks because we don't execute idiotic teachers that hate this country.

You'll need to add a few filler words, of course.

[FOG724]

You'll need to add a few filler words, of course.

Nah, just increase the font size and repeat.

[Quix]

Awwwww rats.

And we were having such fun.

There you go and bring ?reality? and the other perspective into it! What a drag.

Ah well.

IF you are authentic and you were trying to encourage genuine critical thinking without trashing the USA . . . Happy to give you some slack and even apologize for some of my more rash posts--though they were fun IN THE CONTEXT of our assumptions.

However, we have had trashing our beloved nation up to . . . well the tops of the twin towers. And any hint of that is understandably likely to be shredded and trounced on here wholesale. No apologies for that, actually.

[Mrs. Darla Ruth Schwerin]

You've got a good sense of humor! Hence the name, Quix...

[Gordongekko909]

Start here. She's guaranteed an A, and she'll be able to laugh her head off at the professor afterwards when she reveals to the rest of the school what she did.

[admiralsn]

As several have suggested here, I would write the assignment, but begin with the statement "For the purposes of this paper, the term 'sucks', for which a proper definition was never provided for this assignment, will take on the meaning "is great." And then launch into a satirical paper: "America sucks because it is full of people who are willing to sacrifice their lives for the sake of others." "America sucks because it is a land that routinely gives billions of dollars to foreign lands and peoples that will never set foot on American soil."

As a teacher, I am offended by the tone of the assignment, although not entirely surprised. I would like to think that this is a "thought provoking" assignment, but somehow I doubt it. I would definitely have your neighbors discuss the appropriateness of the assignment- first with the teacher and then follow the chain of command. Not saying that will get them anywhere, but at least they will have voiced their opinion.

The child should learn a valuable history lesson in the process of researching the true benefits of being an American, and possibly a life lesson in that it is not always fair.

Oh, and I would end the writing with something along the lines of "America sucks because I have the right to write this paper and voice my opinions in the manner in which I did, just as the instructor had the right to voice his opinion with such a slanted assignment title. America truly sucks! Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Mr. ___" OK, maybe leave the last part off.

[Doomonyou]

America sucks because we have too many gun laws.

America sucks because taxes are too high.

America sucks because the federal govmint is a monstrosity.

America sucks because we have abandoned the meaning of the Constitution.

America sucks because of too much regulation.

America sucks because some teachers are idiots.

America sucks because we have senators like Ted (drunk Bastard) Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.

You could go on and on.

[Quix]

Awwww Shucks,

Gwarsh, blush.

Thanks.

Sometimes it comes out. Much appreciate your noticing.

God's best to you and yours.

[Skooz]

America sucks because taxes are too high, liberal whackjobs have taken over the universities, execrable persons such as Ted Kennedy, Chuckie Schumer, the Hildebeast and the odious Cynthia McKinney hold positions of power in our government, the judiciary has usurped power supposed to be granted to the states and writes law, the liberal press incessantly gives a left-wing skewed interpretation of events, our borders our out of control, and political correctness is rampant.

In fact, it is political correctness, coupled with the dumbing down of American education thanks to the NEA, et al, that will eventually destroy America.

That's why.

Have her turn that in to her teacher.