Jon Carroll [Kickin' It With Sean Penn]

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 4/3/6 | Jon Carroll

[SmithL]

Sean Penn is a friend of mine. We hang. We chill. We kick back. Many people say to me, "Oh, he's such a big movie star, it must be very glamorous and special to hang with Sean." But it's not. Sean Penn is a regular guy, a guy like you and me, although more like me. He likes the things that everyone likes: hot dogs, cold beer, sense memory exercises.

Like this one time he said, "I want you to imagine the worst thing that ever happened to you," and I did. I thought about the time my father was killed in a grotesque head-on collision with an ice cream truck, and how I learned about it from a taunting schoolmate ("Violets are blue, roses are red, poor old Jonny's Dad is dead"), and how that made me feel all cold inside, and I started crying and when I looked up, Sean had gone.

He wanted me to feel the isolation, and for that, I thank him. I did thank him the next time I saw him, and he said, "Really, it's nothing." He's modest and ordinary, my friend Sean Penn, and he's great to hang with.

Of course, I respect his privacy. I would never tell you where he lives, because he's a private guy. A lot of people want "a piece of him," as he says. I think Sean means that people want to get some of the fabulous sums of money he makes in his movie triumphs; they do not want a literal piece of him, such as a fingernail or a single hair plucked from his scalp. Because, really, that hardly hurts. People often don't even know it's happened.

[SmithL]

Disclaimer: Carroll generally doesn't have headlines, so I created one from the link on SFGate

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Actors (and journalists), is there anything they don't know?

[sully777]

"He's modest and ordinary, my friend Sean Penn, and he's great to hang with. "

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ping

[rlmorel]

"...He likes the things that everyone likes: hot dogs, cold beer, sense memory exercises."

I sure do hope this is parody...

[Fintan]

Of course, I respect his privacy.

 

Sure, Jon. And I'll bet you're just dying to ask him what it was like boinking Madonna.

[martin_fierro]

Carroll should stick to writing about his areas of expertise, namely cutesy articles about gardening and Mondegreens.

[ishabibble]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Psychosis is a
friend of Johnny's too!

[Kellykoop]

I wonder if he gets to play with Penn's Ann Coulter "voodoo doll" too? ;)

[Niteranger68]

If only leg-humping was an Olympic sport.......

[garyhope]

Is this from The Onion? Or Scrappleface? Is this for real? This putz is not embarrassed by this brown nosing gush?

Creepy.

[SmithL]

Did I forget to mention that this is published in the SF Comicle?

[Galveston Grl]

**Creepy.**

Carroll used to be a Priest before he fell to become Penn's pal.

[garyhope]

"Carroll used to be a Priest before he fell to become Penn's pal."


Perhaps that explains it.

[RedMonqey]

>>**Creepy.**

Carroll used to be a Priest before he fell to become Penn's pal.



I happen to walk by there a lot, because I think walking is very good for keeping slim and trim, and also because Sean has these kids, great kids, and they just can't stay inside all day every day. So eventually they come out their front door. "Look," says the little one, "it's that guy."



Creepy is the right word for him.