Posted on 03/30/2006 9:36:04 PM PST by MadIvan
Samantha of Sex and the City, it is fair to say, would not approve. The casual attitude to sexual relations embraced by the most liberated of the characters in the television series turns out not to reflect the views of 21st century women quite as well as widely imagined.
Researchers investigating female attitudes to sex and their sexuality were surprised to find that most women have rather more traditional, conservative views on one-night stands than they expected.
Around nine out of 10 of those questioned felt casual sex was immoral and that those women who engaged in it were not doing so primarily for pleasure.
They said they felt sorry for women who had one-night stands, that they were lacking something in their lives and if they had not simply lost control through drink and drugs they were seeking emotional rather than physical connection.
Dr Sharron Hinchcliffe, a psychologist from the University of Sheffield, presented her findings at the annual conference of the British Psychological Society in Cardiff yesterday.
Dr Hinchcliffe said: "Our results did not fit in with the image we have of today's independent woman who can go out and get sexual fulfilment without the ties of a relationship.
"There was a view that if women had one-night stands they were doing it for reasons other than their own pleasure, more out of a feeling of being desperate, needy or looking for something, or that they had lost control through drink or drugs.
"They said they did it for reasons that were different to those of women in relationships - which they said were for pleasure and to express their love for their partner. They defined it as deviant behaviour.
"They referred to the women as emulating male behaviour. It was certainly the view that it was not the way women should behave.
"Some of the respondents said these things even though they admitted they had had one-night stands themselves. I was surprised at how judgmental they were.
"It makes me question whether women have really gained all the sexual freedom they are supposed to have gained since the Sixties."
Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.
Around 10 per cent of the sample disagreed with the majority view of "no strings" sex as immoral. Dr Hinchcliffe said that if anything the women in their early thirties were more negative about one-night stands than those of women in their fifties.
Some of the participants also expressed concerns about women having casual sex exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease.
A survey of 1,095 men and women carried out on behalf of Amnesty International UK and published in November found that more than a third of people believed a female rape victim was totally or partially responsible if she had behaved in a flirtatious manner with her attacker.
Dr Tuppy Owens, of the Sexual Freedom Coalition, a group that campaigns for sexual freedom between consenting adults, said: "I don't like the expression 'one-night stand'.
"Two people just banging away at each other can be pretty meaningless and an empty experience, unless there is some passion, care and feeling towards the other person. However, if you go out wondering what might happen, ready to give as well as receive, you might have the most wonderful adventure.
"Perhaps if they had asked the questions in a different way they would have got different answers."
Norman Wells, the director of Family and Youth Concern, said: "It shows that most women are seeking more than the fleeting gratification that temporary sexual relationships can offer.
"Sexual intimacy was never meant to be engaged in outside the context of lifelong union between one man and one woman.
"By divorcing sex from marriage in our thinking and in the sexual education given to children and young people, we are promoting something that runs contrary to our basic longings for stability, permanence and commitment."
What, your evidence is from "Girls Gone Wild" commercials? They, and the rest of the spring break women portrayed and hyped by the media are the exception to the norm.
From a Time Article report on an American Medical Association study
. Of the female spring breakers surveyed, 30% said that sun and alcohol were an "essential part of life," 74% said that spring break meant increased sexual activity, 40% said that they passed out, and 13% reported having sex with more than one partner.
LOL although I must point out I am a English freeper not American.
Cheers Tony
It's the only thing I could come up with to explain her behaviour. After all, why didn't she have a debit card? Why didn't she have the money for gas? Even if she was struggling to make ends meet, the boy would have known about their financial situation and I just don't see him being unwilling to contribute if it was really gas she needed to get to work.
I came away thinking he was holding onto his money in order to be able to take care of his needs (not his wants). Or else he'd already been contributing money and had seen how she'd been spending it and didn't like how his money was being spent. It didn't necessarily have to be drugs, it could have been any number of things (as in maybe she'd go out partying at night, gambling, cigarettes, booze or anything which could rightfully be considered wasteful if money was really tight). She may well have needed money for gas because she'd wasted her money on other things.
Why is it called a stand? How much standing is really involved? All night? That's a long time to be on your feet.
Hey, glad to be of service. Seriously. To admit that some are guilty of (fill in the blank) behavior is fine. To accuse ALL of that same behavior is just wrong.
If they weren't so scary, the mail order bride faction can be hilarious, because they are so sincere and so earnest about their beliefs - and yet, are so wrong because they, like others, have COMPLETELY dismissed an entire demographic: in this case, American women, based on their narrow experiences.
Read it twice, before you offered it up (with a bad link), and think it's interesting that a) many here suddenly use Time mag as a reliable source when it suits their agenda, but reject it as an MSM tool when it does not and b) the study says it's based on "both on firsthand experience and the experiences of friends and acquaintances" which tells me that much of it is perception based on 2nd hand knowledge. Plus, laughably, they only polled 644 women between the ages of 17-35. Bizarre grouping and polling.
Do some women act like a "ho" on spring break? You betcha. But the majority don't. But that's not sexy and it's not fun to generalize women as normal and moral. It's way more fun, easy, and sexy to assume they all act like the minority on GGWild tapes/commercials.
LOL. I should have read your profile first. Still, your kindness is appreciated.
You apparently have not been around any large groups of 17-25 yr old females lately (beach, mall, etc etc). If you had you would have seen 90% dressed like dimestore hookers puffing away to beat the band.
90% of all one-night stands are committed by 10% of the female population?
No wonder I have so much trouble finding one of these women. Chuckle.
Or... could it be that 100% of the women who engage in one-night stands pretend that they are doing something else? They are living the first day of a new relationship (reference Sex and the City). When that doesn't happen, they simply blame the male involved for being... take your pick of any one of the thousands of excuses, and get ready for the next first day of another new relationship.
More chuckles...
Well not actually mail order.
A group of American men flew over to Moscow, to check prospective brides out.
One part I found so demeaning was this American chap sitting in a chair with a glass of whisky puffin on a cigar while these prospective Russian brides walked round in circles.
Irt reminded me of the trade in horse flesh.
All the men in question complained about American women.
But to me those complaints were negated by the attitudes they displayed.
How can they complain about someone being mercenary or shallow, when they displayed those very tendencies.
And we have a fair share of those types in Britain as well.
On a aside I watched it with a feeling of sadness did I spend my time in the cold wet muddy West German country side waiting to help fight of a Soviet Invasion so that the ugly side of the west can go over and exploit those women.
So I guess that 1 out of ten is getting a lot of action...............
Thank you for saying this...as it needed to be said.
"American women are (in general) chain smoking narcissistic sluts who are completely unsuitable for a role as a wife or mother. There are exceptions, but they are increasingly rare."
Yikes. I have a more optimistic view from the people I know (including my own wife). Where do you live, Hollywood?
My apologies for the bad link (new computer and editor) the article I was referencing was this one http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1176483,00.html
Also its not that I give my full trust in Time magazine it’s that they are quoting an AMA study and if you are going to criticize the polling group of the AMA may I point out that the study referenced by the Daily Telegraph says” Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.”
If you are going to make generalizations about young American women why use a study on middle aged British woman.
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