Posted on 03/30/2006 9:36:04 PM PST by MadIvan
Samantha of Sex and the City, it is fair to say, would not approve. The casual attitude to sexual relations embraced by the most liberated of the characters in the television series turns out not to reflect the views of 21st century women quite as well as widely imagined.
Researchers investigating female attitudes to sex and their sexuality were surprised to find that most women have rather more traditional, conservative views on one-night stands than they expected.
Around nine out of 10 of those questioned felt casual sex was immoral and that those women who engaged in it were not doing so primarily for pleasure.
They said they felt sorry for women who had one-night stands, that they were lacking something in their lives and if they had not simply lost control through drink and drugs they were seeking emotional rather than physical connection.
Dr Sharron Hinchcliffe, a psychologist from the University of Sheffield, presented her findings at the annual conference of the British Psychological Society in Cardiff yesterday.
Dr Hinchcliffe said: "Our results did not fit in with the image we have of today's independent woman who can go out and get sexual fulfilment without the ties of a relationship.
"There was a view that if women had one-night stands they were doing it for reasons other than their own pleasure, more out of a feeling of being desperate, needy or looking for something, or that they had lost control through drink or drugs.
"They said they did it for reasons that were different to those of women in relationships - which they said were for pleasure and to express their love for their partner. They defined it as deviant behaviour.
"They referred to the women as emulating male behaviour. It was certainly the view that it was not the way women should behave.
"Some of the respondents said these things even though they admitted they had had one-night stands themselves. I was surprised at how judgmental they were.
"It makes me question whether women have really gained all the sexual freedom they are supposed to have gained since the Sixties."
Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.
Around 10 per cent of the sample disagreed with the majority view of "no strings" sex as immoral. Dr Hinchcliffe said that if anything the women in their early thirties were more negative about one-night stands than those of women in their fifties.
Some of the participants also expressed concerns about women having casual sex exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease.
A survey of 1,095 men and women carried out on behalf of Amnesty International UK and published in November found that more than a third of people believed a female rape victim was totally or partially responsible if she had behaved in a flirtatious manner with her attacker.
Dr Tuppy Owens, of the Sexual Freedom Coalition, a group that campaigns for sexual freedom between consenting adults, said: "I don't like the expression 'one-night stand'.
"Two people just banging away at each other can be pretty meaningless and an empty experience, unless there is some passion, care and feeling towards the other person. However, if you go out wondering what might happen, ready to give as well as receive, you might have the most wonderful adventure.
"Perhaps if they had asked the questions in a different way they would have got different answers."
Norman Wells, the director of Family and Youth Concern, said: "It shows that most women are seeking more than the fleeting gratification that temporary sexual relationships can offer.
"Sexual intimacy was never meant to be engaged in outside the context of lifelong union between one man and one woman.
"By divorcing sex from marriage in our thinking and in the sexual education given to children and young people, we are promoting something that runs contrary to our basic longings for stability, permanence and commitment."
Last time I checked, Candace Bushnell wasn't a man.
At any other time in my life I would have agreed with you but very very sad to say the young women today have lost their dignity. I have two grown children my daughter well let's just say finds pride in using her body to get a man. My son a great person,one of the good guys can't find a date. While listening to both of them and loving them equal I have come to the conclusion that young women today are just immoral. Now I have friends and family members who are also women and they agree. We just don't understand why the young women are like this today. And none of them are happy. One day I grabbed something from one of my kids plate at dinner and they made a fuss and I said in todays world where sex comes down to just using one another, I find that todays young people may not double dip their food because it is nasty but don't think twice in doing the same thing to their bodies. Their reaction was priceless! They thought that was just so so icky and nasty. But I was trying to get a point across that all of us should treat our own bodies and others with dignity and respect.I know more than one or two young women who have three or more kids and they all have different fathers and when they get through with the men they go on to the next and have children with them. I think for some of them they are looking for the jackpot,someone who has money and have their child and then be set for life.
Sorry but when ever anyone uses that sort of argument they lose me.
I got that impression because the men in question sat there while the women walked round.
And yes there was and there still is real poverty there. And it was based on exploitation, just because we are conservatives does not mean we bury our head in the sand and pretend there is no such thing as exploitation.
As for media, I have worked in psyops so I know about media exploitation.
Just because some stories may be jassed up not does mean they have some truth in them.
As for I guess you don't want to marry one of the women you helped to save.
I know this will shock many on here, but the fact is I married for dare I use that word Love.
I would not say I am what you call a looker, but I guess a good sense of humor, a happy nature, not a whiny its someone else's fault and its there fault I cant get a date attitude, coupled with a healthy dose of respect for the opposite sex helped me to find and marry a stunning lady.
In looks she is stunning and her personality beats her looks.
And she makes me laugh every day.
I guess it depends what you want out of a wife.
Thats not what I said, I was talking about those who went over there to exploit the poverty.
And I feel even stronger about those from the West who use parts of the East as a knocking shop, especially where young children both girls and boys are concerned.
And yes I would serve again.
It may not be the best system in the world but its better than all the rest.
This guy obviously never went to Spring Break.
The tenth one is a real slut!
Its a joke, lighten up Francis...
What an awful view of women. Must be a serial killer.
I'm around my teenager's public high school quite a bit. Smoking is divided on class lines in high school as in the general population, but fewer and fewer teenage girls are smoking. And smoking doesn't necessarily mean that they're sexually promiscuous. A lot of them are hardworking kids who earn good grades, hold down a job, do sports, and take part in volunteer activities. In hot weather they may wear shorts that are too abbreviated for your tastes but that doesn't make them sluts.
Opening up a new front or reinforcements.
re :The reason why you've hit a nerve with your seeming prejudice against American men dating Russian women.
I talked about one TV program and the men in question were what I would call cads and it was easy to see why they had to go to a market to buy a wife.
But I did not say all men are like that.
re :You can call a few of them cads, but that doesn't make it right for you to wish away their constitutional freedoms to be cads
LOL now where did I say I want that right to be taken away from them.
There are many things I privately disprove of and may even mention on this site, but I have never advocated banning them.
I have to ask since you have made that claim against me is that something you do. You know people always tend to accuse others of what they are guilty off
If you don't approve of something do you want the government to legislate against it.
That is not a very conservative view is it.
And I think the people are too thick around here...
WOW>>>>>>>This is the all time winning thread of a pack of judgemental,jealous, woman hating, nest of loser prudes, who never got any, will never get any...... ever.
Maybe you need a serious schizophrenic, variety and excitement, all in one.
Or maybe someone who is really good, but that does not come from one night stands where no imagination is required, and if it doesn't click, so what?
If it isn't getting better overall as time goes on, someone is (or maybe both are) being selfish or lazy.
Are there some women who are narcissistic sluts? Yes. There are some men who are narcissistic sluts, too. I'll let you in on a secret about the promiscuous women: very few of them like having serial relationships or one-night stands. Many or most want love, not serial sex with strangers. Sex with a strange man who doesn't know your body isn't that great anyway.
Such a woman doesn't know how to say No to a man in a way that will keep him coming back to become fascinated with her personality. She wants a long-term relationship, preferably a happy marriage, but she knows that if she says No to a man she'll never see him again because there are millions of other women who will say Yes. So she says Yes, and hopes he will be so charmed by what happens in the bedroom that he'll stick around and fall in love with her. Never happens, of course.
I saw this all the time among my girlfriends back when I was single. That was 25 years ago. Now I see it among some lonely single women of my acquaintance and I don't know what to tell them. The feminists have really destroyed things.
What do you expect? By this age they've figured out that in the one night stand category the female usually winds up with the short end of the stick... so to speak.
I suspect the lower you get that average age the more accepting of it you will find... until they age some and wise up about it.
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