Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
Nonsense. Jesus loves you too, but the rest of us think you're an obnoxious putz.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
Oh, like the military secrets the previous administration "traded" to China? Hey, what'd we get in return for that, I can't seem to remember.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
If it had been up to me that little enforcement of UN Resolution would have been our swan song. See, I really can disagree WITH ANY ADMINISTRATION!!!
A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
Hey, she could have said no.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
Wait, since when has a liberal been all worried about someone making more money that wasn't a member of the NEA?
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
Uhhh, yeah ok. If condoms are kept out of schools, that means that kids will have to buy them at Albertson's like everyone else that isn't on welfare. Since they won't have any money, they'll have to get a JOB like everyone else that isn't on welfare in order to buy condoms for their casual sex habit. If you're ready to use a condom, then that must mean you're ready for procreating, right?
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Wow, that's the best idea I've heard all day! While we're at it, let's ask France how to properly run a military, you know, because they've done so well in the past. That Maginot Line...thing of freakin' beauty!
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
Yeah, because the "cut and run like a little b----" policy is so sound. Oh, and if you think health care is expensive now, wait until it's free!
HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
But I thought Hillary and medical malpractice lawyers had my best interest at heart?
Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
I just wanted creationism taught in schools so I wouldn't have to look at any more of those stupid Darwin fishes on people's cars. Even if we're wrong about global warming, it's more summer and less Democrat voters. So there.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
In other words...perjury and obstruction of justice: perfectly okay. Fabricating 30 year old documents using Mircosoft Word: also perfectly okay. It must be nice to be a Democrat and do whatever the hell you feel like.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
...and the Equal Rights Amendment and Roe v. Wade. And since when did we get all giddy about censoring the internet? If we censored DU, who would we laugh at besides you?
The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
I guess you didn't get the memo about statues of limitation did you? Oh, wait, you're a Democrat, rules are for the little people! Hey, while you're at it, could you fax me Ted Kennedy's driving record? Thanks.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
No, you see, a drug addiction isn't a "moral failing" so much as a "Democrat constituent".
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.
Why, did Bush spend a month and a half in the Soviet Union during the 80's?
Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail is expected.
Unlike Democrats, who support the sons of segregationists and Jim Crow lovers. At least when we shoot someone, we shoot attorneys instead of shooting water hoses at people based on merely skin color.
Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.
Note to self: Don't send this to ten people. Send this to nine people with the subject line "Hey everybody look at this dork!"
Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
Remind me why I'm your friend again?
TOO funny!