I May have to put my cat down (vanity?)

[Canedawg]

I havent had to go thru this since my dog died 20 years ago. And he went down so fast, the decision was a no-brainer.

So this kitty is 15, mostly siamese, white with blue eyes. He's been having violent seizures (six in the past 6 months)and kidny failure. I give him intravenous fluids, and the kidneys are stabilizing, but he has been losing weight, eating less, stopped sitting on my lap, and has had very flat affect the past few weeks. He's very lethargic, and so I have resisted putting him on phenobarbitol to control the seizures, but I may start that.

He doesnt seem happy, and his hind legs are going- he's wobbly and gimpy- just very fragile.

But, when I watch him resting comfortably, sleeping, and when he meets me at the door when I come home from work, the guilt pangs hit me as to why should I make a decision to take his little life away from him?

I am divorced, live alone, and dont get a lot of emotional support from any real support group to speak of.

I'm truly at a crossroads here. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[Titan Magroyne]

Hi Canedawg, I agree most with #17, who stated it more clearly than could I. Your kitty will tell you when it's time, if natural death does not come first.

This thread has caused me fresh tears over my own losses as well as all the posts within. FWIW, I'll share my stories with you.

I was the one who took my parents' little dog Benji to be put to sleep. I'd grown up with him as my little brother, and IMO, my Mom selfishly held onto him longer than necessary. As I expected the first time I suggested doing it, she nearly bit my head off. Now she's in my shoes with my Dad, since their current elderly, feeble fellow is "Dad's dog". I'm not around that dog enough to say if it's time, though it bothers Mom & me that Dad seems to not notice how bad off the little guy is.

I also made the decision to euthanise my kitty diagnosed with FIV. Despite the quality of life left in him, I felt it necessary to contain the disease. To have confined that happy little hunter indoors to indulge my own desire to keep him around would have been cruel.

On both those occasions, I prepaid the vet for her services so as to keep my tears private. I've stood at the counter with grieving owners who waited to pay up. It's an awful feeling.

Sudden calamity robbed me of the decision for 2 of my best-loved dogs. I had a collie who suffered a stroke or heart attack when the mailman came to the door. I found her body when I arrived home from work. I couldn't help wondering if that SOB grinned when her barking choked off. Even though she was on an unpalatable prescription diet, I did not begrudge the efforts I took to make her food tasty or the cost of her arthritis supplement. IMO, she still had a year or two of quality life.

Unbeknownst to me, my lab had ingested a plastic bag that entangled her intestines. Being plastic, it didn't show up on the emergency vet's x-ray. The phenobarb she was on did not prevent a final seizure from taking her life, and that is the death that haunts me. She was 7 years old.

Both those dogs' ashes await mingling with mine when my time comes.

You seem to be well informed as to the medical aspects. I can only chime in with another poster who said that seizures themselves don't seem to be painful, but for some muscle soreness afterwards due to the strain. For my epileptic dog, recovery AFTER the seizures was helped emmensely by my own calmness. I learned not to touch her during the grand mal unless I had to drag her away from hard objects that I couldn't move out of her way. Her eyesight and reasoning were both suspect once the grand mal ended, so a quiet environment and gentle voice made her feel safe even though she didn't recognise me right away.

Sorry to go on for so long, but I hope I've helped in some small way. I surely do sympathise.

In loving memory of Sikoshi and Aphrodite

[Not A Snowbird]

My beloved 19 year old cat, Magic Bear, let me know. I can't tell you how, it was just the way he looked at me. It was a look that said, "It's okay, Mom."

I finally realized I was keeping him alive for me, not for him. That's when you'll know it's time.

It's heartwrenching. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

[apackof2]

I lost my favorite horse valentine's day and it pains me; I raised him,trained him, and had him for 21 years.

As an animal lover , my condolences

[apackof2]

My heart goes out to you

I have had to made that decison so I understand completely

Whatever decision you make have peace knowing that you gave your cat a most wonderful life and yes there truly is a Rainbow Bridge

[AnAmericanMother]

It's very difficult! I've been there several times with much-loved kitties, and now I'm facing this again with two Siamese, 15 and 14, who are hanging in there but beginning to have health problems.

You'll know when it's time. When the pain and the unhappiness outweigh the good times, you will know. Try to be clear-eyed for the sake of your kitty, and think of his good first.

The seizures are much scarier for you than they are for him, BTW. But if he seems as though he is in pain or stops eating, that's a different story.

Prayers for you both.

[U S Army EOD]

You have Freepmail

[Yaelle]

I think if you look closely at him and watch him, and see that he is in never-ending pain, it might be kind to put him down. If not, his life still has meaning.

I don't know what to do for our 11-yr-old Bengal. He collapsed, we didn't know why, and we spent more than $1K to get him better. That was a LOT of money to this old-fashioned one-earner family! It's been 3 weeks and he is still confined to one room with chronic diarrhea. The vet's next step would be ultrasounds and biopsies to check for cancer. Well, we can't afford all that. So we don't know what to do. We have tried everything with his diet but he still has diarrhea. He is weak but seems otherwise well and doesn't seem in pain (though he did after he collapsed). The smell is killing me, though...

I wish you well, whatever you decide. We all have our time.

[OldPossum]

Believe me, letting your friend go is a tough, tough decision. I just returned from out of state where my dog was being treated for cancer. On the way there he lost the use of his rear legs (a CT scan at the hospital revealed a lesion, which apparently had been growing for some time, had broken through and affected his spinal column; he had been struggling to walk for weeks before--and did walk--but we attributed it to arthritis and were searching desperately for something to help him).

Like you, I faced a dilemna. An operation would possibly (the odds were 50-50) fix it but he would not be able to move the legs for a month at the minimum. Might never. And the doctors told me that he seemed miserable at not being able to walk. Meanwhile the cancer had spread into his prostate.

After much soul-searching, my wife and I decided to do what was best for him and let him go. Since she was not there it fell to me to be the one to hold him at the last moment. Man, it was the worst moment of my life but I did it. I owed it to him after 16 years.

Thankfully, the process is short, the doctor told me that death occurs within five seconds.

I cannot really advise you in your instance, only that you try your best to recognize that when an animal's time has come to go, do not let it suffer. The catch in such cheap advice is that it's damn hard to know when is when.

[meowmeow]

You have FreepMail.

[meowmeow]

Oh - and I forgot to add that we stayed with our kitty right to the end. As we promised her, we never left her.

[Slings and Arrows]

Thanks for the ping. From the OP, it sounds like the poor baby is ready to go.

[Bahbah]

I'm so sorry. These situations are so very difficult. I have no suggestions for you. Just offering some moral support. I'm going to have to make a decision like this about my dog soon and I am not doing a very good job of facing it myself.

[Lx]

I sympathize with your problem. I don't like to play God so if the kitty isn't in pain, give him the phenobarbital and see how well he does. Make sure he gets enough water and monitor his litter box output. No urine is a sign of the kidneys shutting down.

I've got a Persian I've had since '93. 8 months ago she had a stroke and I thought she was a goner. I kept her with me all weekend because I didn't want her to die alone. I started giving her her meals via a syringe after I had ground up the cat food with some Ebsilac dog milk substitute as well as giving her water. She pulled through amazingly enough. Her back legs were almost worthless and pretty much still are. Last Friday something happened where she could barely stand and I thought it was time. I kept her close and fed her and she been gaining strength. As long as she's not in pain and is in control of her functions I plan on keeping her with me. It's so hard when a small member of your family gets sick but make sure you show the little guy as much love as possible to keep him going. Please keep us posted as well and good luck.

[js1138]

I have two fifteen year old cats. They are healthy now, but I hate thinking about the next couple of years.

For those with cats over seven years old, I strongly advise feeding a cat food designed for older cats. I feed mine Purina One. It eliminated a kideny problem one of them was having. I'm not sold on specific brands, but I think a special formula is important.

[SelmaLee]

I can't tell you how, it was just the way he looked at me..."

Several years ago - it was much the same with our beloved kitty, Selma. She was lying on a mat on the living room floor - recovering from an accident and subsequent surgery. Our daughter, who was around 13 at the time, suddenly sat up from the couch where she was sleeping, looked at her and said, "Selma sees angels". I knew; and I think that canedawg will know too.

[GovernmentShrinker]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE join this Yahoo Group right away:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Feline-CRF-Support/

If there's anything that can be done to help your kitty, this group will know it and will answer FAST. It's a very rare vet that knows as much as the old-timers in this group about kidney failure and related problems. In addition to extensive medical knowledge, practical advice, and info on where to get supplies for a fraction of what vets will charge, there is plenty of emotional support there. EVERYBODY in the group understands this situation.

Wobbly hind legs are often the result of potassium deficiency (common in cats and people with imparied renal function) which can be remedied VERY easily and inexpensively. Please don't wait to address this, as low potassium can cause the heart to stop suddenly.

[alarm rider]

Sorry about your cat.

One thing I learned early as a kid, growing up in the country, is that animals have different expected life spans than humans. Sometimes, it is very difficult to understand that, but it is true none-the-less.

15 years of your care and concern makes one lucky cat. I wish you both the best.

Regards,
AR

[Canedawg]

I'm happy to report that all was well when I arrived home. I shed many tears at work today through this thread, and I had hoped it wasnt a sign that something bad was happening at home.
The kitty's fine tonite and he thanks you for your prayers.

"if kitty isn't in pain, give him the phenobarbital and see how well he does. Make sure he gets enough water and monitor his litter box output."

That is probably the way we'll go for the immediate future. The phenobarb delivery is coming Sunday.

Thank you all for sharing this catharsis with me.

[Tabi Katz]

I don't know where you live, but here in NY, at the Animal Medical Center, they offer support groups for people caring for sick pets and for those who have lost a pet. I almost checked out the latter group after my beloved kitty, Crystal, died at 15 from cancer last October, but I got tremendous support from friends and family.

Now I am facing another heart-wrenching situaion: my new 8-month old kitten contracted some kind of neurological disease (the vet thinks it's an infection, but he's not sure; we are treating it as such). I have to give her 3 meds 2x a day, and it's been pure hell trying to pry her mouth open, subdue her, and squirt in the meds with only 2 hands. She seems to be getting a little better, but it's too early to tell. It's been tremendously stressful, and I'm thinking of trying out the group for sick-pet owners.

I'm sorry to here your kitty's not doing well. You may want to see if any such support groups exist in your area. Good luck!

[GovernmentShrinker]

Hint on phenobarb: start with a VERY small dose, and work up gradually. This will usually avoid the severe lethargy that often accompanies starting phenobarbitol, and you may find that the cat requires significantly less than the prescribed amount to control the seizures. In the case of my 20 year old CRF kitty, his seizures (little tiny brief ones, but a dozen or more times daily) ended up being absolutely controlled with 1/8 of the dose the vet prescribed (which the vet said was already a "very low dose").

I tried giving my cat 1/2 the prescribed dose on the first day (1/2 of a 1/4-grain tablet), and he slept all day and didn't eat a bite of food. The one time he groggily got up and walked through the kitchen, he briefly glanced at his food bowl and seemed like he wasn't sure what it was. He now gets 1/4 of a 1/4-grain tablet twice a week, and has no side effects.