[Wombat101]

Hey, you know, at least Mein Kampf pretended to make more sense than this crap.

Signed,

A 'Soon-to-be-Extinct' Indo-European

[Chanticleer]

I missed a steaming hot troll to find this. By the time I did, you were zotted. I hope you enjoy it. You and the author seem to have a lot in common.

From the CD: National Lampoon Radio Dinner Album
A Parody of the poem Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three lefts do.

Wherever possible put people on "HOLD".
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember the Pueblo.

Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you;
That lemon on your left for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls,
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Carefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
For a good time, call 606-4311.

Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog
Is finally getting enough cheese;
And reflect that whatever fortunes may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Sioux City.

You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be,
Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.

Give up.

[NonLinear]

I have finally and with some satisfaction and relaxation determined that the current administration is in charge of a Puppet theatre, kabuki style, and that the hidden reality is way different from the Media--Government Complex shadows against Plato's Cave.

Hey kewl! Isn't that like the Japanese chop-chop places where you can watch them cook your steak, chicken and shrimp and flame out the fried rice, much like you are flaming out your fried brain?
Way kewl brother! Pour me another saki! Hoy! Bonsai!

[BunnySlippers]

[humblegunner]

I have finally and with some satisfaction and relaxation

Spank for truth!

[Billthedrill]

Looks like you're onto us, but it's too late. There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image; make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer limits. You are about to sense a 50,000 volt zot that will burn a hole in your sorry but the size of Hillary's ego.

Oops. Too late. Never mind.

[Chanticleer]

He's copping your tagline!

[Darksheare]

So, how's that sockpuppet thing working out for you?
Not a talkative bunch, sockpuppets.
And I hear tell that sockpuppets will eventually begin to suspect you of all kinds of things.
If I were you, I'd get those sockpuppets before they get you.
They really are out to get you, you know.

[ATOMIC_PUNK]

[SquirrelKing]

PUPPET ZOT!

[Paul_Denton]

Every single troll is now an ENEMY OF THE REPUBLIC!

[Paul_Denton]

ZOT!

[Shaun_MD]

[mastercylinder]

[rzeznikj at stout]

ZOT!!!

[mastercylinder]

[mastercylinder]

[vigilante2]

Spare us please!

[Old Sarge]

Ursula stands on the still-smoking carcass of the enemy…