Posted on 02/27/2006 5:31:39 AM PST by Abathar
PITTSBURGH -- It turns out the microwaved penis was a fake.
A convenience store clerk in the Pittsburgh area was freaked out when she thought she had put a severed penis in the store's microwave oven.
The clerk said a couple came into the store and asked her to heat up something for them. The clerk did and caught a glimpse of what she thought was a penis wrapped in paper towels.
McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero said the woman who came into the store with the fake penis was actually trying to cheat on a job application drug test.
Prosthetic penises that contain drug-free urine are sold on the Internet. According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would pass the body temperature test.
Police plan to interview the woman Monday.
Now, I've heard everything, PING!!!!
An RB for the Minnesota Vikings, Onterrio Smith (maybe?), was busted with this same thing a while back. Also, trying to get my the drug test, IIRC.
The idea of not using drugs never crosses their minds?
No, I rather buy a fake penis and drug free urine via the internet!
Good idea!
Oy Vey!
This sounds like something Hillary Clinton could use as a wedge issue....
I'm no expert on drug test procedure, so can someone explain to me why it matters that you carry your urine in a fake penis? Do employers watch while you go? If so, can't they tell its fake?
Is this a burgh thing?
She could have kept it at near perfect body temperature if she would have kept it under her armpit, er, or somewhere very warm...
Dasher and all:
Forgive me for this mindless ping, but I FINALLY sold my house Friday!!!!!! Thank you God!
After 6 long months of waiting the folks who had a contingency offer on my home finally came through. I really believe that this move and sort of a "new start" will be good for the boys and I.
day10
I think we may be among the very few on FR familiar with that song but I was going to post a more obtuse reference if you hadn't already!
If there's one thing worse than a microwaved penis, it's a microwaved fake penis.
Congrats, Day!
I hope this brings you peace.
Check out the ad upthread. It's designed so you can look like you're actually attached to it, because the DO watch you to make sure you're not just dumping a container of someone else's stuff into their cup.
I'm thinking of selling my own kit for beating drug tests. You pay $50.00, and I send you a piece of paper that says: quit doin' the sh*t and you won't get caught with it in your system.
One more reason why I don't use the microwave at a convenience store !!!!
I'd love to see that drug test.
"Please pee in this cup". "Sure, let me unbutton my shirt..."
Great news day10. Wishing nothing but good things for you.
My mama told me never to sign nothin' with the word "contingent" in it, because she went through the same thing once. You must be glad it's over.
Ya'll don't do this to me so early in the morning... .
They don't call 'em hot dogs for nothing! LOL!
I am very glad it's over.
How could they tell it was fake?
It didn't plump when you cooked it?
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