Wake up everybody! Saturday Silly Stuff!
The following top 15 police comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:
#15: "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14: "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13: "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12: "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11: "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10: "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9: "Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8: "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7: "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo."
#6: "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5: "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4: "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3: "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
#2: "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
#1: "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Hi 'Face.
ROTFLOL!!!!!
ROFL!
Hahaha! Love it!
LOLOL! They are all funny, but that one is really funny!
Monkey, did you find my post to you of the girls?
good afternoon, 'Face
Hi! Just passing through on my way to change another diaper. Nice day here, sunny and 50's.
Thanks, 'Face!
My husband is ROTFLOL!
One more for your collection:
A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures "what the heck," and gives up. He pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says, "Listen mister, I've had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I'll let you go." The man though for a moment and said ... "Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"
Sadly, I was awake. And headed out to the last day of a Am back now... head swimming...
How are you?