A lefty view of Cheney humor

My yahoo email account | 02/15/2006 | TC Rider

[TC Rider]

This morning a lib woman I used to date sent this to my yahoo email:

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My friend at work - Ken who went to UNC and lives in Chapel Hill, no he isn't gay, LOL

His joke this morning about the Chenney incident is

He heard this is the first time Chenney has ever been a straight shooter.

I am LMAO!

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My response

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I'm sorry, that's pretty lame.

How about:

"Would you rather go hunting with Cheney, or get a ride home with Teddy Kennedy?

T

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Her reply (get ready, this is bad)

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Oh can 't we all just get along?

Ok! Had to actually think about this one for a minute.

I would choose Ted Kennedy because I think he would be more compassionate to me than Dick Cheney for the following reasons:

I am just a poor single mother living in the Cary ghetto trying to raise her children, keep a job and put food on the table. Yes, it is a very bleak picture and I have been abandomed by every conservative male I have ever been involved with. Leaving me to try and make it alone in a man's world.

And everyone knows there is no such thing as a compassionate conservative!

And Ted Kennedy was acquitted.

Also a little more humor:

Cheney got a deferment from taking mandatory classes in hunter safety.

He is an expert in getting deferments after managing to get five deferments in avoiding the military draft during the Vietnam War.

Five deferments and now he wants to start shooting!, LOL

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My retort

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Rodney King says: "Can't we all get a Long Island Iced Tea?"

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Her rebuttal

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You devil! Do you know just how much you suck? Did you set me up, LOL?

[ExcursionGuy84]

Betcha Wilbur Mills' girl wasn't trapped in a sunken & flipped-over Oldsmobile.

[Shalom Israel]

Any questions on why we're not dating any longer?

Well, OK, we can all tell she's stupid--but is she curvalicious?

[MeanWestTexan]

I really did this in college.

Came back from flight school (about to go to Saudi) and we all went to an anti-war rally in Boston because we knew the chicks would be easy pickings before we left.

Worked, too.

[TC Rider]

Why were you dating a liberal? Do you like pain? ;)

I had recently separated from my ex-wife. Have you heard of the therepy where one pain is used to distract from another?

FWIW, the lib harpy did like something about this conservative, she strongly resisted breaking up. I can't go to any of the bars she frequents or she'll try to liquer me up.

[TC Rider]

There was no point in rubbing her nose in the truth, typical lib denial.

[MeanWestTexan]

Plus, being a liberal, they'll believe pretty much any lie if it fits their pre-conceived notion of the world.

[ExcursionGuy84]

Relationships usually work better when the man is the smarter one.

Isn't that how Shakespeare portrayed his characters in his palys???

[TC Rider]

Send us those private replies from her girlfriends! ;-)

You wish!

[Shalom Israel]

Because liberal chicks are easy.

Aw, you guys beat me to it. That's exactly what I was trying to insinuate #22, but I couldn't find a good hook. Of course conservatrix handed it to you on a platter...

[My2Cents]

Were you able to connect up with one that didn't have armpit hair?

[Stars&StripesNE]

Ted Kennedy wasn't acquitted because he never stood trial. Furthermore, he did lose his driver's license for a year.

Ted Kennedy didn't report the accident because he was sobering up on Martha's Vineyard while he left a woman to die alone in his car. He was also attempting to get someone else at the party to take the blame. They all declined. Where was Ted Kennedy's compassion then? After the incident, Ted's pregnant wife lost the child they were expecting because of the stress and heartbreak she experienced.

Compassionate Teddy? No, guilty of second degree murder and he's still serving in the United States Senate. And there are liberals who would prefer him over Cheney. This, my friends, is your typical democrat....... stuck on stupid.

[TC Rider]

Because liberal chicks are easy.

You have no idea. I hadn't 'dated' in nearly 30 years, either I got a lot sexier in the interim, or you're exactly right. (only I would add desperate in the case of 50 yo lib wymin)

[Reactionary]

"Because liberal chicks are easy."

Yeah, but it's about like buying a cheap bicycle with a bad seat.

[TC Rider]

Well, OK, we can all tell she's stupid--but is she curvalicious?

Well, she still had curves, just in the wrong places.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

You have given me nightmares.. this woman lives in my community- Of course I don't live in the *ghetto* with the rest of the filthy liberals around here (*Yuck*)...but it is still frightening to think I may run into this person at the Gas station or sumthin.. ACK,UGH!

BTW- why would you date a liberal anyway..Come back in from that ledge , FRiend...

[Shalom Israel]

Yeah, but it's about like buying a cheap bicycle with a bad seat.

99.3% of males surveyed said, "Bad sex is better than no sex!" (Cited from: The Top Ten Things Women Don't Realize About Men, But Should)

[MeanWestTexan]

Yeah, she was some rich girl going to BC.

Very pretty and a great "orator."

Can't remember her name, though.

[Servant of the 9]

The 'Cary Ghetto'?

Does the poor woman only have 4 bedrooms?

So9

[TC Rider]

Were you able to connect up with one that didn't have armpit hair?

Without getting into too much detail, let me say that not dating for 30 years left me ill prepared for women today. Hair where you wouldn't expect it, none where you would normally expect a bit. Tattoos everywhere.

I thought it was just the kids doing this stuff, not their mamas.

[MortMan]

Well, she still had curves, just in the wrong places.

Convex versus concave?