[Snardius]

I'm first;

Colder than a well-diggers a$$...

Grinning like a dog eating peanut butter out of a wire brush...

[stainlessbanner]

"There stands Jackson like a stone wall." - Gen Bee

"Gooder 'n Grits"

[saganite]

Here's an oldie that just occurred to me.

Happy as a tick on a fat puppy dog.

[MikefromOhio]

She's ugly like she was hit with a Mac Truck full of ugly sticks?

[MikefromOhio]

This thread is just Slicker than GooseShit.....

[Casloy]

As nervous as a cat in a rocking chair factory.

[Delta 21]

My favorite smiley.

[Fintan]

"Smile this...you pencil-necked geek!!!"

 

;-)

 

[Dashing Dasher]

"It's like having sex with your girlfriend on the hood of your wife's car while your wife is honking the horn. Pretty damn exciting, but not much fun."

[NerdDad]

Not really a simile, but one of the best expressions of disdain for a person that I have ever heard. Got it from an old boss of mine:

"I wouldn't p!ss in his mouth if his guts were on fire."

[InShanghai]

Looks like this thread will go over like a turd in a punchbowl.

[rikkir]

"I'm hungry enough to eat the ass end out of a dead skunk!"
Been saying that one a long time before Apollo 13.
"Man, that looks like a cat's ass sewed up with a grapevine."
Means something looks really bad.
My father in law's favorite; "I wouldn't hit a hog in the ass end with it". Meaning something's useless.
"Useless as tits on a boar hog."
Self explanatory

[VBLOVER565]

as rich as a gold digger