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"I killed my pets to move in with my fiancé…"
MSNBC ^ | June 21, 2005 | Dr. Gail Saltz (advice columnist )

Posted on 01/31/2006 1:21:51 PM PST by grundle

Q: About a year ago, I made the heart-wrenching decision to leave a great job, house, friends and family to move to Hawaii with my fiancé.

As part of this transition, I also chose to have my two beloved chow chow dogs put to sleep.

I adored those dogs, but I justified their sacrifice to the greater good of a successful relationship.

After six months, I am still tormented by memories of my dogs. The depths of anguish and loss make me think I got rid of them for purely selfish reasons, which is the kind of behavior I thought I reviled. I feel that I have gone from dog-lover to dog-killer in one trans-Pacific flight.

A: I am truly sorry you feel so wracked with guilt about your decision to put your dogs to sleep.

(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: doggieping; euthanasia; knowchatwhenuseeit; mememememe; notnews; selfishjerk; wrongforum
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To: Joe 6-pack
As part of this transition, I also chose to have my two beloved chow chow dogs put to sleep. This was done for a variety of reasons, including their age and temperament,
141 posted on 01/31/2006 2:42:41 PM PST by bkepley
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To: HairOfTheDog
It's not about relative worth,it's about compatibility. Would you undergo allergy desensitization or take medication for life in order to be with her?

Actually,I think it is a case of relative worth in certain circumstances.If it was my sweetheart who had the allergy,I can't see *not* giving up my pet.And no,I wouldn't expect her to take pills or get shots because there's not a pill or shot in existence that doesn't carry at least *some* risk.

Human beings always have been,and always will be,far more important than a pet.

142 posted on 01/31/2006 2:43:41 PM PST by Gay State Conservative
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To: Dashing Dasher

My kids range from 5 (almost 6) to 17, and they've been raised with animals, so I'm not worried about them. But I have a 4-H club that meets at my house, and we have lots of kids going in and out from time to time. We currently have the sweetest calico cat on the planet and the most mellow 9-year old Australian Shepherd. I would hope that if the little girl were properly cared for and trained, she would be fine... but I am leery about chows. Labs are awesome, if stinky, so that part is fine.


143 posted on 01/31/2006 2:45:01 PM PST by Chanticleer (May you be gruntled and combobulated in 2006.)
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To: grundle
I don`t get a couple of things and didn`t see anything in the article.

Namely how did she reach the conclusions that she did?
That is,somehow this would make life less stressful.

I saw no where what her fiancé had to say on the issue and wonder the exact circumstances of the relationship.

My gut feeling is that this had more to do with hims than is let on.

I would`nt be surprised if some day she finds that his concern for her is not what she thinks it to be.

144 posted on 01/31/2006 2:45:29 PM PST by carlr
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To: Chanticleer

"Any thoughts on a chow-lab mix?"

I have one. She was sort of star-crossed as a puppy, but is a very sweet-natured adult. Her Chow nature and her Lab nature do tend to battle one another, though. She's not quite as sociable with strangers as my full Lab is, but I wouldn't call her disagreeable, just a little standoffish. She *wants* to like water, but hates getting her feet wet, which is comical to watch. She's a "licker," which feels wonderful on tired, hot feet, but some people think that's disgusting (I don't, fortunately). I love her and have no regrets, but will admit that I wondered what I had taken on, when she was around nine months to a year old. A lot of it boils down to how much time you have to work with the puppy, so it grows up knowing how it's expected to behave.


145 posted on 01/31/2006 2:46:03 PM PST by RegulatorCountry
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To: Eagles Talon IV

blech...

I think I am going to skip dinner now....

I don't like Cats but damned if I am going to do that to kittens....


146 posted on 01/31/2006 2:47:31 PM PST by MikefromOhio (")
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To: bkepley
Why not quote the whole thing?

This was done for a variety of reasons, including their age and temperament, the smaller living quarters in Hawaii, the tropical climate and frequent travels, all with the goal of making our new life as stress-free as possible. I adored those dogs, but I justified their sacrifice to the greater good of a successful relationship.

In other words, "There were a lot of reasons, but my personal convenience trumped them all, and I tried to allay my guilt on the front end by being dishonest with myself so I could work up the nerve to off them."

147 posted on 01/31/2006 2:48:43 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum.)
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To: Gay State Conservative

It depends on whether animals are a big or small part of someone's life. Obviously, if someone's major hobby is cats, then you're asking the person to change who they are.

I'd try the desensitizing before I'd ask they change for me.


148 posted on 01/31/2006 2:50:15 PM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: bkepley
Man what are talking about?

I had to cover Larry and Leah's ears. They aren't dogs they are babies. We lost their dad Luke who was 12 last May. He and Lindsey his wife are gone but not forgotten.

RIP Luke and Lindsey.
149 posted on 01/31/2006 2:50:31 PM PST by Dewy (1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;)
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To: Chanticleer

I'd think you'd be okay.

Especially if the puppy is raised with lots of kids around.


150 posted on 01/31/2006 2:54:00 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (I'm so fascinating - I have my own group of stalkers hanging on my every word! Jealous?)
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To: Joe 6-pack
Why not quote the whole thing?

I was trying to point out that the adoption route might have only traumatized the dogs for no reason who would have ended up being put down anyway. The fact is it's impossible to find all animals a home, even pups. One of my friends is a dog adopter and I know. Do you adopt dogs?

151 posted on 01/31/2006 3:09:24 PM PST by bkepley
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To: YoungCurmudgeon

It must give you an awful lot of pleasure, just looking at that cat. You done good!


152 posted on 01/31/2006 3:17:12 PM PST by BykrBayb (Impeach Judge Greer - In memory of Terri <strike>Schiavo</strike> Schindler - www.terrisfight.org)
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To: nodumbblonde
Thank goodness she didn't have children from a previous relationship to contend with. :\

That reminds me of that Farrah Fawcett movie where she shot her 3 kids because her boyfriend didn't like kids.... Suppsingly a true story.

153 posted on 01/31/2006 3:17:19 PM PST by Fawn
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To: grundle

Surprised nobody has yet mentioned a man who killed his wife's cats so he could live with his girlfriend, and then IIRC didn't end up moving in with her anyway.


154 posted on 01/31/2006 3:17:50 PM PST by supercat (Sony delenda est.)
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To: supercat

Would that be the same "man" who later killed both of his parents and his wife? The same one whose concubine's mother died mysteriously in his home?


155 posted on 01/31/2006 3:28:53 PM PST by BykrBayb (Impeach Judge Greer - In memory of Terri <strike>Schiavo</strike> Schindler - www.terrisfight.org)
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To: bkepley
Look at my profile page....the little one is a Hurricane Katrina rescue. I usually resist the urge to anthropomorphize dogs (or other animals), but the dog exhibits what can be described as a palpable sense of gratitude and affection. I also volunteer at a no kill shelter with app. 70+ dogs...I consider them my pets, just the ones I don't have room for at my place.

I doubt that adoption would traumatize any of them nearly as much as a few cc's of pentobarbital.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in canine euthanasia when appropriate, but I don't believe it was in this case. The woman obviously takes major commitment less than seriously; likewise, her paramour is pretty unyielding as well...I doubt their relationship will last...

I adored those dogs, but I justified their sacrifice to the greater good of a successful relationship."

It's the relationship du jour with her, and before long there will be another man with whom she will be convinced she can have a more, "successful relationship," and the old guy will be discarded like last week's buttermilk.

156 posted on 01/31/2006 3:28:55 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum.)
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To: grundle

Someone gave me a chow, I'd put it to sleep.


157 posted on 01/31/2006 3:29:48 PM PST by pissant
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To: Dashing Dasher

they eat the damn things in Korea. ;o)


158 posted on 01/31/2006 3:30:36 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant

EEEWwwwwwww


159 posted on 01/31/2006 3:35:06 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (I'm so fascinating - I have my own group of stalkers hanging on my every word! Jealous?)
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To: Dashing Dasher

YUM. Chihuahua on a stick.


160 posted on 01/31/2006 3:36:02 PM PST by pissant
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