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Guy finds out Internet girlfriend is his own Mother
Yahoo Entertainment ^ | 12/15/05 | Yahoo Entertainment

Posted on 12/15/2005 11:17:42 AM PST by freedom44

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."

The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.

"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.

"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.

"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.

"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.

"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."

When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.

"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.

"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.

"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."

Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: fakebutaccurate; fiction; france; hatewhenthathappens; humor; internet; mamamia; mamasboy; oedipalcomplex; singles; weeklyworldnews; wwn
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
WWN has that kind of writing style - the first sentence usually ends with an exclamation point.

All the forced alliteration ("mortified mother","matronly mom") is what tipped me off. That's a WWN trademark.

201 posted on 12/15/2005 1:58:30 PM PST by murdoog
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To: Mo1
Mom....is that you?

:-)

202 posted on 12/15/2005 2:18:21 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: Borax Queen; nicmarlo; Darksheare; phantomworker

In case you all needed a little extra dose of sick humor......


203 posted on 12/15/2005 2:21:03 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: aShepard

You must have skipped over it. Post 150 has a picture of Helen Thomas.


204 posted on 12/15/2005 2:26:15 PM PST by Mr. Lucky
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To: Lakeshark

Hey, what you say! A little extra dose of sick humor!

I'm studying wavelets and profile monitoring!


205 posted on 12/15/2005 2:27:30 PM PST by phantomworker (We don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are.<==> Perception is everything.)
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To: Lakeshark; nicmarlo; Darksheare; phantomworker

That is so sick. Good thing we know sharks, ghosts, turnips, snakes, and phantoms ain't related!


206 posted on 12/15/2005 2:27:33 PM PST by Borax Queen
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To: toomanygrasshoppers

Gosh, I went to the CNN site. Yuck! Somehow I'm pretty sure if my mother had the morals of mom in story I wouldn't be advertising it to the world. And what kind of mother even talks about stuff like this to her kid, anyway? Thre are so many boundaries crossed in tis article. Another reason not to watch CNN.


207 posted on 12/15/2005 2:31:06 PM PST by voiceinthewind
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To: Borax Queen; Lakeshark; nicmarlo; Darksheare

But did know that a wavelet prototype function is called an analyzing wavelet or mother wavelet?

Which can be used to represent data or superimpose other functions? ==> A profile...

aka Fourier series from the early 1800's...


208 posted on 12/15/2005 2:34:19 PM PST by phantomworker (We don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are.<==> Perception is everything.)
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To: phantomworker; Lakeshark; nicmarlo; Darksheare
Snakes don't get such things sharks probably do because they are less evod.
209 posted on 12/15/2005 2:36:36 PM PST by Borax Queen
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To: mwyounce
Kinda like "Escape (The Piña Colada Song)," but so much worse...

"Si vous aimez Pina Coladas, et se faire attraper sous la pluie.
Si vous n'êtes pas dans le yoga, si vous avez le moitié-un-cerveau.
Si vous aimez faire l'amour à minuit, dans les dunes du cap.
Je suis la dame que vous m'avez recherchée, écrivez, et m'échappe."

I wonder how it translates into Islamazi...because the French language is a dead/dying language as we type...

210 posted on 12/15/2005 2:45:06 PM PST by Itzlzha ("The avalanche has already started...it is too late for the pebbles to vote")
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To: phantomworker
Yes, thought you needed a break.......

Such a highly informative thread.....

:-)

211 posted on 12/15/2005 2:58:35 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: Lakeshark

I know, you're a good guy...(Whoops, what thread are we on? LOL!) I've been on a break all day!!!!


212 posted on 12/15/2005 3:01:07 PM PST by phantomworker (We don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are.<==> Perception is everything.)
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To: Borax Queen
they are less evod.

An ironic comment coming from a snakelet......

213 posted on 12/15/2005 3:01:10 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: phantomworker

And here I thought you had 'portant things to do......


214 posted on 12/15/2005 3:01:50 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: Lakeshark
at least I made it to land...
215 posted on 12/15/2005 3:01:58 PM PST by Borax Queen
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To: Borax Queen
Rumors.......

:-)

216 posted on 12/15/2005 3:02:33 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: Lakeshark

I do have to get that stuff done. If the juices don't flow, what can I do?

I'll shift it in gear soon though. ;)


217 posted on 12/15/2005 3:04:21 PM PST by phantomworker (We don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are.<==> Perception is everything.)
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To: Borax Queen
Went to a "B" PT today.....this group is really good. Comes from the Michigan State group that has an Osteopathic view. You might want to check them out.

sorry to stop the lashings......you may now continue......:-)

218 posted on 12/15/2005 3:05:42 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: phantomworker
Last minute cramming. My favorite.

What would we do without pressure.

Aren't there engineering jokes about pressure?

219 posted on 12/15/2005 3:07:07 PM PST by Lakeshark (Thank a member of the US armed forces for their sacrifice)
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To: Lakeshark

Hydro or electric?


220 posted on 12/15/2005 3:08:39 PM PST by phantomworker (We don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are.<==> Perception is everything.)
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