I hear it comes with a very large belt buckle.
Posted on 11/29/2005 11:30:51 AM PST by pissant
Last year, we ran through the list of best Christmas songs and carols. Lotsa of great memories. This year, it's time to list the WORST Christmas songs ever recorded. Some are because the version performed by the "artist" is horrid. Others because the song itself is weak and irritating. You be the judge.
Either way, I had a difficult time paring down the list. I left off "novelty" songs by the Chipmunks and Donald Duck, etc. They were intended to annoy, and thus were successful in their own right!
Top 7 Worst Christmas Songs Ever Recorded
7. Blue Christmas - by ANYONE OTHER THAN ELVIS PRESLEY -- Great song when sung by the King. Otherwise it is grating beyond belief.
6. 12 days of Christmas - various artists -- Why anyone listens to this silly thing is beyond me
5. Frosty the Snowman - various artists -- As annoying to me as the TV cartoon trotted out each year
4. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid -- Another Bob Geldof save the starving biafrins effort. Truly unlistenable. With singing contributions from Boy George, Stink (Sting to some), and Wham, it is doomed to make many "worst" lists until it is completely forgotten about.
3. So This is Christmas - John Lennon -- As bad, if not worse, than his retarded Give Peace A Chance. A dirge for the ages.
2. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen -- Truly pathetic, like 98% of his constipated sounding songs.
1. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Jackson Five -- Truly the most irritating vocals I've ever heard, by a screeching young Michael Jackson. Nails on Chalkboards sound like Pavoratti by comparison
Oooooh, that's one of my favorites.
"I don't want no crockadiles,
all I want is to see a hippo smile."
The one I can't stand is Little Drummer boy.
Right, Jean Krupa in a manger? Sure.
There is a whole slew of recent "soft rock" Christmas songs I've heard on the radio lately. And they ALL stink.
This is classic stuff!!
I hear it comes with a very large belt buckle.
Yikes! How did I miss that sentimental charmer? ;o)
Oh, the Austin Power's version of "bag"! Got it.
I understand it comes with a hearing aid and large print follow along lyrics.
Found another stinker to add to the list - Kelly Clarksdale. Great song, horrific vocals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rn8vOoiVek
Oh, the fire's burning slow
Now where's that mistletoe
Dear, it's getting kind of hot in here
I need a taste of Christmas cheer
I hope he gets here quick, I need a St. Nick fix
Oooo-eee, I just want him to be all wrapped up for me
Santa's never been this hard to resist
But Santa never used to look like this
He's traded in his reindeer for a limosine
He's wearing purple trousers instead of red and green
This Christmas I want something I never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag
Now, I got to got to find out how
To make him want to settle down
I've got a big fat kiss right at the top of my list
So we can build a little candy home
And have a few elves of our own
I want to sneak a peek at my surprise
And see tradition metamorphasize
He's given up the cookies and he's slimming down
He bought a little bungalow in Tinsel Town
This Christmas I want something I never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag
As he finds his Zen down on the kitchen floor
He lights a fat Cohiba from his humidor
This Christmas I want something I never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag
He's got a Richenbacher and he's bleached his hair
He's rockin to the rythm with a Latin flair
This Christmas I want something I've never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag
He's reading Socrates and cooking French cuisine
He's pictured on the front of money magazine
This Christmas I want something I've never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new
Santa's got, Santa's got a brand new bag
Clever. I could get used to looking at these chicks!
The one on the right wanted your number...I told her you weren't that kind of guy.
You're right. I like the one on the left. ;o)
...unlike other, similar groups we might mention...
TSO is the group that does the music that the famous "Christmas Lights house" video uses.
Miller Light has a more prdestrian version using the same music.
"Nobody mentioned the endless ear-wrenching variations of The Little Drummer Boy, pa-rumpa-pum-pum!"
When I was a kid we had many "Living Voices" albums (which I cannot find now). Their version of LDB was truly great.
Who on earth thinks that's Burl Ives?!?!?!
I heard they were conservatives. I hope that is true. Beutiful women usually are.
have a blessed Christmas! Cheers!
Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen
Have you ever see it done LIVE?
The Boss rocks
Another best : "Joy to the World" Aaron Neville with the Blind Boys of Alabama.
You're right. I like the one on the left. ;o)
Picky, picky picky....Oh hell, then that I guess that just leaves me the one in the middle.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.