I'll see your Barbra Streisand and raise you one Regis Philbin (a modern day Arthur Godfrey without the ukelele or the charm).
Posted on 11/29/2005 11:30:51 AM PST by pissant
Last year, we ran through the list of best Christmas songs and carols. Lotsa of great memories. This year, it's time to list the WORST Christmas songs ever recorded. Some are because the version performed by the "artist" is horrid. Others because the song itself is weak and irritating. You be the judge.
Either way, I had a difficult time paring down the list. I left off "novelty" songs by the Chipmunks and Donald Duck, etc. They were intended to annoy, and thus were successful in their own right!
Top 7 Worst Christmas Songs Ever Recorded
7. Blue Christmas - by ANYONE OTHER THAN ELVIS PRESLEY -- Great song when sung by the King. Otherwise it is grating beyond belief.
6. 12 days of Christmas - various artists -- Why anyone listens to this silly thing is beyond me
5. Frosty the Snowman - various artists -- As annoying to me as the TV cartoon trotted out each year
4. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid -- Another Bob Geldof save the starving biafrins effort. Truly unlistenable. With singing contributions from Boy George, Stink (Sting to some), and Wham, it is doomed to make many "worst" lists until it is completely forgotten about.
3. So This is Christmas - John Lennon -- As bad, if not worse, than his retarded Give Peace A Chance. A dirge for the ages.
2. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen -- Truly pathetic, like 98% of his constipated sounding songs.
1. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Jackson Five -- Truly the most irritating vocals I've ever heard, by a screeching young Michael Jackson. Nails on Chalkboards sound like Pavoratti by comparison
My all time lest favorite is "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" by Sir Paul McCartney! YUCK YUCK!!!
if you *really* want a bad version.. dig up the one rupaul did.
I actually like that one. Ya gotta problem wi' dat?
Simply having wonder Christmas time -McCartney
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
I'll see your Barbra Streisand and raise you one Regis Philbin (a modern day Arthur Godfrey without the ukelele or the charm).
Wow...the white trash Christmas! LOL
I'll have to try & find that one!
Uhg!!! I hate Springsteen!
I'm a little over a year late responding to your comment but I've not heard that one. Probably didn't miss anything.
Someone else mentioned that turd. Glad I've not heard it!
On the other hand, I rather enjoy "Santa's got a Brand New Bag" by SheDaisy.
Oh! You don't even need to hear Regis sing to know you'll hate it!
LOL. Are they singing about his bag, as in toy sack or a "bag" of reefer?
"The Twelve Beers of Christmas."
The version only features 8 items because the brothers complain about the length of the song so they skip to day twelve but talk over the part that lists days 12 through 9. The eight items are: 8 comic books, 7 packs of smokes, 6 packs of two-four (case of beer with 24 bottles or cans), 5 golden tuques (winter hats), 4 pounds of back bacon (known in the US as Canadian bacon ), 3 French toasts, 2 turtlenecks, and a beer in a tree.
The song also suggests a dozen donuts would be appropriate for day 12 but face a conundrum because a bakers dozen would contain 13 donuts. Bob mentions at the end that this song "ranks up there with Stairway to Heaven."
Oh dear lord that is SO funny! There's the best version of the horrendous 12 days I've ever seen. :)
Santa's Brain.
Kid finds the brains of Santa Claus underneath his bed in a pickle jar.
They're singing about his schtick, his act, his whole reason for existing.
Apparently they think Santa's pretty hot.
Glad someone mentioned that song. Please allow me to vent, as I totally despise that song!
First of all, it starts off with a grandiose sweeping into, telling us all that a very important song is about to be sung. Then, the singer proceeds to tell us about how the boy, who was "dirty from head to toe" was in line waiting to buy shoes for his dying mother. Gag! When the kid doesn't have enough money, the singer kicks in the extra, "What else could I do?" And we're all supposed to congratulate him on his nobleness. Yeah, right.
The kid wants to buy shoes for his mother so she looks beautiful when she meets Jesus. Okay, nice idea, but Jesus probably isn't going to care if the woman is wearing shoes. Second, the mother probably doesn't care if she has shoes or not. She's DYING! Finally, the kid is probably conning this guy out of the money for the shoes. What father is going to send his kid to the store for shoes when the mother is dying? "Hurry up and get the shoes, son, there's not much time!"
It's a pathetic and blatant attempt to tug at our heart strings, and the song sucks! I change the channel whenever it comes on the radio.
Sorry for the rant. Guess I really don't like this song.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.