are there differences between blacks and whites? Asians and occidentals? Arabs and Swedes? If so, then following your premise, everyone should be treated differently? The law applied differently as a rule?
I certainly don't "insist" there are no differences between men and women. Absolutely quite the contrary. I don't open my car door for a man, but I do for my wife and daughter.
Most people confuse the definition of equality all the time, which is what you are adressing. Equality doesn't mean that you treat everyone the same way.
It means you treat similarly situated people similarly, and you can differently situated people differently.
I don't think you are mindful of the second component of equality. You have to be mindful of the public policy concerns to fully evaluate the situations.
For purposes of sexuality, regardless of race males and females are situated differently, so its fair to treat them differently.
Is this difficult to cope with?