Posted on 11/15/2005 7:32:36 AM PST by Millee
I was reading "Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide" last week on the stationary bike at the Y, and the men around me were sweating even more than usual. "So what's the answer?" one said nervously.
Maureen Dowd scares guys, so my familiar comrade in cardio wasn't exactly comfortable with me multitasking with the ultimate alpha female. "I'll let you know next week," I told him.
Sure, Dowd and I have a few things in common. We both grew up in working- class families with lots of brothers. We both started college in 1969 and have careers in the newspaper business.
There the similarities end, however, so reading her sly, dishy, cynical take on gender relations was like poring through a Lonely Planet guide to Bangkok.
I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in such an odd place.
I mean, really, I was working a 6 a.m. shift at a newspaper in Portland, Ore., and rearing two kids when Dowd was sharpening her stilettos - and her wit - at GQ, Cosmo and the Washington Star. She was dating Michael Douglas and Aaron Sorkin in New York while I was arguing with a belligerent teenager in Denver. While I was worrying about paying for new snow tires, she was buying $100-an-ounce wrinkle creme. No wonder we have such different perspectives.
The premise of "Are Men Necessary?" - oversimplified - is that Dowd thinks men don't like smart, successful women, and smart women are so demoralized by this rejection, they resort to slutty clothes, Botox and plastic surgery in a desperate attempt to land a husband the sleazy, cunning, prefeminist way.
Honestly, I think she needs to turn off "Sex and the City" and get out more.
Since I haven't exactly been immersed in the singles scene, I called several smart Colorado women to find out what it's like out there.
"What a hilarious question," said state Rep. Morgan Carroll, an Aurora lawyer, who thinks Dowd is seriously behind the curve. "I'm actually seeing a resurgence of men who are growing bored with the counter-feminist culture."
There definitely are media pressures "to doll us up" and sell us beauty products, Carroll said, "but I'm seeing the pendulum move the other way. There are more men who are bored with empty women. They're much more intrigued with smart, independent women."
Chris Watney agreed.
A graduate student who has worked in the U.S. Justice Department, on Tom Strickland's Senate campaign and at the Colorado Children's Campaign, Watney said the whole notion of smart women buying "The Rules" and getting boob jobs to land a mate is ridiculous.
"If we were to use those tactics to get a date, the guy would surely be gone by the second date," which in Watney's case might be climbing a fourteener "with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail."
Still, in Colorado a woman can be too smart, even for fellas who give every indication they are secure about their manhood.
Amy Slothower and Jennifer Winther said the fastest way to scare away a man is to mention Harvard. Slothower calls it "dropping the H-bomb."
"I lived in New York for a while, and most of the men I encountered there had similar educational experiences and were successful in their own right," she said. If they asked her where she went to college, she didn't hesitate to drop the H-bomb. They didn't duck and cover.
In Denver, however, she saves that information until at least the second date.
Winther, who has a Ph.D. in biology and is heading to Harvard for a post-doc, said she rarely brings it up. "It's a turnoff," she said. Heck, for most guys, "just being in science is intimidating."
The whole topic is a minefield, for sure, but if there's anything on which smart women seem to agree, it's the answer to Dowd's provocative rhetorical question. It's definitely no. In post-
feminist America, men are not necessary.
But once they learn to cope with their insecurities and their chromosomal inadequacies, they can be a whole lot of fun.
"I don't need a Cosmo mag for sex secrets either."
I've always believed one can learn something new every day. Cosmo always gave me a few good pointers.
My bitch with that mag, was that it always seemed that if I was in a relationship, all the articles were things like "How to Juggle Your Dating Calendar", or "Hot Things to do on a First Date", and when I was single, it was "Breakfast in Bed for Two", "Picking out the Perfect Valentine's Day Gift for Him". Arrgh.
But I always liked good ole' Irma Kurtz's Agony Column, Your Body, and the little snippets of "Why don't you...."
Toys are good though ;)
Bugs...I need them to kill bugs.
Absolutely learn something new! I work in a very male dominated field, always have, and love it.
Sweet cheeks,
chuckle butt....
I've been making my own money since I was 16,
I fuss at my animals,
I'm addicted to sequins and I don't care who sees me in them,
I work in a 99.9999% female profession so my looks never got me anything (other than pinches from the geezers in the Nursing Homes).
Like EX said, I don't need Cosmo for any tips (however, I do have some other....er, nevermind)
I need men because I happen to like men.
And they smell good...
And they sometimes even laugh at my jokes and eat my cooking...
And they feel nice on a cold night...
Oh yeah, and they can hold up the kitchen cabinets while I bolt them the the walls :)
Maybe it's because the men who are not intimidated by a woman's fame, education, or fortune are all Republicans and conservatives. And we all know she wouldn't go near one of those with a barge pole.
Stupid, self-centered cow...
And to throw the mouse trap away after you catch one!! I hate that.
Get a gecko...
Seriously,
the little fella will eat all the bugs in your house.
However,
You have to get used to having a lizard around ;)
If you are bolting and not screwing them, you really need a man!
Oh!
Opening jars!
I forgot that....
And checking to see if I left the gas on (I can't smell and one day I may go boom!)
Men are necessary to keep my flirting skills honed.
Ya know,
the minute I typed that I thought "I should say screw, but hey, they won't know the diff"
You're right, I screwed them into the studs.
See!
It's also more fun to slow dance with a man.
Good girl! < ducking again!>
You're awesome!
Good for you, screw those studs.
Yeah,
I like slow dancing with a man.
However, I keep unintentionally trying to lead-- it comes from teaching a dance that trains instant response to music cues.
ACK! I suck at slow dancing.
Next time try blocking in the wall... that way you don't have to worry about hitting the studs.
I find electrical outlets are even better :)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.