Posted on 11/15/2005 7:32:36 AM PST by Millee
I was reading "Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide" last week on the stationary bike at the Y, and the men around me were sweating even more than usual. "So what's the answer?" one said nervously.
Maureen Dowd scares guys, so my familiar comrade in cardio wasn't exactly comfortable with me multitasking with the ultimate alpha female. "I'll let you know next week," I told him.
Sure, Dowd and I have a few things in common. We both grew up in working- class families with lots of brothers. We both started college in 1969 and have careers in the newspaper business.
There the similarities end, however, so reading her sly, dishy, cynical take on gender relations was like poring through a Lonely Planet guide to Bangkok.
I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in such an odd place.
I mean, really, I was working a 6 a.m. shift at a newspaper in Portland, Ore., and rearing two kids when Dowd was sharpening her stilettos - and her wit - at GQ, Cosmo and the Washington Star. She was dating Michael Douglas and Aaron Sorkin in New York while I was arguing with a belligerent teenager in Denver. While I was worrying about paying for new snow tires, she was buying $100-an-ounce wrinkle creme. No wonder we have such different perspectives.
The premise of "Are Men Necessary?" - oversimplified - is that Dowd thinks men don't like smart, successful women, and smart women are so demoralized by this rejection, they resort to slutty clothes, Botox and plastic surgery in a desperate attempt to land a husband the sleazy, cunning, prefeminist way.
Honestly, I think she needs to turn off "Sex and the City" and get out more.
Since I haven't exactly been immersed in the singles scene, I called several smart Colorado women to find out what it's like out there.
"What a hilarious question," said state Rep. Morgan Carroll, an Aurora lawyer, who thinks Dowd is seriously behind the curve. "I'm actually seeing a resurgence of men who are growing bored with the counter-feminist culture."
There definitely are media pressures "to doll us up" and sell us beauty products, Carroll said, "but I'm seeing the pendulum move the other way. There are more men who are bored with empty women. They're much more intrigued with smart, independent women."
Chris Watney agreed.
A graduate student who has worked in the U.S. Justice Department, on Tom Strickland's Senate campaign and at the Colorado Children's Campaign, Watney said the whole notion of smart women buying "The Rules" and getting boob jobs to land a mate is ridiculous.
"If we were to use those tactics to get a date, the guy would surely be gone by the second date," which in Watney's case might be climbing a fourteener "with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail."
Still, in Colorado a woman can be too smart, even for fellas who give every indication they are secure about their manhood.
Amy Slothower and Jennifer Winther said the fastest way to scare away a man is to mention Harvard. Slothower calls it "dropping the H-bomb."
"I lived in New York for a while, and most of the men I encountered there had similar educational experiences and were successful in their own right," she said. If they asked her where she went to college, she didn't hesitate to drop the H-bomb. They didn't duck and cover.
In Denver, however, she saves that information until at least the second date.
Winther, who has a Ph.D. in biology and is heading to Harvard for a post-doc, said she rarely brings it up. "It's a turnoff," she said. Heck, for most guys, "just being in science is intimidating."
The whole topic is a minefield, for sure, but if there's anything on which smart women seem to agree, it's the answer to Dowd's provocative rhetorical question. It's definitely no. In post-
feminist America, men are not necessary.
But once they learn to cope with their insecurities and their chromosomal inadequacies, they can be a whole lot of fun.
Dowd asks this question but then laments that she has no husband...I guess her answer is yes, even if she can't find one...and sorry Dowd, it's not because you're some sort of power woman in your deluded world...it is the deluded world itself.
I've been with men who are very intimidated, not by my success, but by my "smarts."
I grew up in a household where mom and grandma were both opinionated, strong and more capable than their men. Both were housewives and mothers and were called upon at different times, both during their marriages and widowhood to be "providers."
I bought into the feminist crap of "climbing the corporate ladder" in able to provide for myself. I missed the part about a team (couple) being better able to care for one another in times of need....I set out to prove I could do everything by myself. It can be a lonely existence. Sometimes the necessity to rely upon another, brings its own kind of fulfillment.
5th from the right...
Dowd wouldn't know what a man is since she has to change the batteries in every one she has met so far.
*snicker*
Good find Millee.
Oh man. Talk about a straight line.
I grew up in the midwest where I was often humbled by the common expression "too smart for her own good." I was unexpectedly widowed at 26 years. That taught me that life contains surprises and does not always go acc/ my plan. some say that when a man plans, God laughs. I like that.
Hubbada hubbada....
That makes it 100% clear - yes... Men are necessary.. at least those men.
Grrr...
Name three great female composers. Here's one: Camille Chaminade.
Name three great female scientists. Here's one: Madame Curie.
Name three great female architects....(?)
Name three great female engineers....(?)
Name three great female philosophers....(?)
It is interesting that women seem to excel in (mostly) interpretive arts such as dance, music (playing), painting, writing.
In other words, interpreting the original works of men.
I am not a misogynist; I love women. Women civilize men; only women can create new life; women make homes. Is that not enough?
--Boris
Just doing some research, but only an acrchitect would call this machine a bulldozer. Check the picture properties! LMAO!
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