I also work at times with the severely abused. However, there is a world of difference between adults meeting their needs on an otherwise neglected or beaten child, and a focused and concerned parent trying to direct their overly rambunctious child. Spankings can work and a well spanked but well loved and directed child grows up with limits and guidelines.
I agree.
We have adult clients in our 'big' facility that we all agree could have used a few more spankings as children. Now they weigh 250 pounds and have a punch like Tyson and have the IQ of a 7 year old.
BUT, while cognitively I can understand it, emotionally (yes, that evil conservative nemesis) I can't get past the acts of out of control adults coming down on kids. So, I will always side on non-hitting side of things and I will always read these threads through the eyes of the monsters who are saying "See!! I'm OK! I'm doing the right thing!"
Because I was abused and am emotionally damaged, I chose (after fostering) not to pursue adoption....and 2 of my 3 siblings have chosen not to have children also---to quote a brother, the best revenge is not passing on the family name.
Obviously najida still has issues. I'm sorry that your life of horrible abuse affects you to this day. Most of us who've had normal and well deserved spankings aren't affected and thank our parents for raising us "right". There is a huge difference between a few smacks on the bottom and abuse. I was spanked, I don't feel the least abused.