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Scott McClellan Out - Mr. Stick Figure In! (Funny Stuff!)
WazzaDem
| 11/7/05
Posted on 11/07/2005 8:12:53 AM PST by areafiftyone
Scott McClellan Out - Mr. Stick Figure In
As you all know, Scott McClellan submitted his resignation today. I want to thank Scott for his hard work and dedication, and wish him the best of luck.
It's my pleasure to appoint as Press Secretary Mr. Stick Figure. He's well informed, he speaks his mind, and I'm sure you'll all enjoy working with him. Stick?
Thanks, boss. You heard the man - Mumbly McMushmouth is out, Stick Figure is in, so let's get this show on the road. Let's hear from...
You...Four-eyes.
Me?
Not you, the other four-eyes.
Me?
What did I just say? Yes, you!
Oh, OK, I was just going to, um, I mean, I wanted to say, I mean to ask that, um...
Holy crap - spit it out, already!
Oh, sorry. Um, as you know...
OK, let's just stipulate that any question beginning with the phrase "As you know" is a waste of my freaking time, because if I already know, I don't need you to remind me. Sound like a plan?
I guess so. So, um, then I guess what I should say is, um...
All right, time's up, Zippy. We've only got three years left in this administration, and we can't spend all three waiting for you to form a complete sentence. Let's go to Mr. Pink-Shirt over here on the right.
Stick Figure, do you think Scott McClellan should have admitted he was wrong when he said that...
Again with this?? What are you, obsessed with the guy?
I think it's a reasonable question, after all, he was the press secretary for this administration, and he stated emphatically that...
The key word being was, OK? By now, he's probably working at the local Starbucks, so how about you head over there, grab a latte, and the two of you can continue your little domestic squabble over some banana nut loaf, huh?
You're avoiding the question, and the American people aren't going to stand for...
Whoa! Hold up a second there, sparky. In case you haven't noticed, there's a new sheriff in town, and he's not taking any crap from the peanut gallery.
But I asked a question, and I think you have a responsibility to...
Responsibility? Let's just review here - me, presidential appointee; you, Brian Williams office-boy. Now, despite the obvious difference in our social stature, I'm still willing to let you come in here and hang out with these other losers, so mind your p's and q's.
That's not...
Next! Let's hear from Lurch, down here in front.
Me?
The next person who asks that is out on his ass - yes, you!
This is nuts, you can't talk to...
Hey, Porny McSleazemouth, they warned me about you, and I'll tell you right now, I'm not going to stand for any talk about sloppy seconds, or nuts, or any other body parts, got it?
But, but...
Again with the body parts! OK, I warned you, now you're sitting this one out.
Oldie McFartson, what've you got for me?
I've reviewed six different polls on issues ranging from the public's opinion on...
Can you believe this guy? He's actually reading from a script.
...demographic studies, many of which concur that...
Does he think he's running for office or something?
Now, taking into consideration the economic disparity between many...
I'm just going to let him talk. ChromDome, you're up!
Mr. Stick Figure, as you know...
Wrong answer! Take that guy's press pass away, he's a loser.
Hairpiece! What's on your mind?
I don't wear a hairpiece!
Riiiiight, right. What's your question?
Stick Figure, after what I've seen today, I can't vouch for you.
Well, I don't remember asking you to vouch for me...
Seriously, I can't carry your water.
Carry my water? What does that mean?
This is outrageous. I'm a reporter for ABC, you know.
That's one of the reasons I wouldn't ask you to vouch for me.
I've hosted Nightline!
That's it, get it all out. Confession is good for the soul. Oh, I forgot - you're a reporter for ABC. Well, confession's probably good for you, anyway.
I don't have to take this crap from you!
BOR-ing! You, in the back - take your best shot.
Wouldn't you agree that the president...
Wouldn't you agree that the president.
Excuse me, wouldn't you...
Excuse me, wouldn't you.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Are you playing some kind of game?
No, I'm demonstrating the fine art of verbatim quoting. You bozos should try it some time.
All right, show's over, kids. Move along, nothing to see here.
I can't believe I made so many new friends in one day. I think I'm going to like this gig.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: mcclellan; mrstickfigure; stickfigure
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To: areafiftyone
LOL... I enjoyed it..nice job.
2
posted on
11/07/2005 8:17:53 AM PST
by
scott says
(MSM=Morons Spouting Misinformation)
To: areafiftyone
3
posted on
11/07/2005 8:17:53 AM PST
by
Tijeras_Slim
(Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
To: areafiftyone
Sounds good to me. Nice work.
To: areafiftyone
Thanks for the giggles with my donut and coffee this morning! :-)
5
posted on
11/07/2005 8:21:51 AM PST
by
pillut48
(CJ in TX)
To: areafiftyone
6
posted on
11/07/2005 8:22:29 AM PST
by
kenth
(Come back here... so that I may brain thee!)
To: pillut48
LOL We need to laugh at least once a day!
7
posted on
11/07/2005 8:24:08 AM PST
by
areafiftyone
(Politicians Are Like Diapers, Both Need To Be Changed Often And For The Same Reason!)
To: areafiftyone
Wish all press conferences went that way! Nicely done!
To: areafiftyone
9
posted on
11/07/2005 8:27:29 AM PST
by
Choose Ye This Day
('Tis the part of the wise man to...not venture all his eggs in one basket. -- Cervantes)
To: areafiftyone
Wouldn't you agree AreaFiftyOne that...
To: Tijeras_Slim
Thank you ..........this was great
11
posted on
11/07/2005 8:31:04 AM PST
by
stocksthatgoup
(Polls = Proof that when the MSM want yo"ur opinion they will give it to you.)
To: areafiftyone
EXCELLENT. And a Marked improvement over scott.
12
posted on
11/07/2005 8:41:54 AM PST
by
pissant
To: areafiftyone
Hey stickman . . . could you at least share with us where you got your haircut?
13
posted on
11/07/2005 8:42:52 AM PST
by
w_over_w
(This tagline is blank, well, not actually blank but it would be if I didn't just tell you.)
To: Choose Ye This Day
Aren't they great? Terrific stuff!
14
posted on
11/07/2005 8:43:44 AM PST
by
areafiftyone
(Politicians Are Like Diapers, Both Need To Be Changed Often And For The Same Reason!)
To: areafiftyone
15
posted on
11/07/2005 8:47:31 AM PST
by
My Favorite Headache
("Scientology is dangerous stuff,it's like forming a religion based around Johnny Quest and Haji.")
To: areafiftyone
"No, I'm demonstrating the fine art of verbatim quoting. You bozos should try it some time."
LOL!
16
posted on
11/07/2005 10:57:24 AM PST
by
rockrr
(Never argue with a man who buys ammo in bulk...)
To: areafiftyone
17
posted on
11/08/2005 2:07:53 PM PST
by
tiredoflaundry
("Youth" - French for Muslim Rioters)
To: areafiftyone
Almost as good as the debate between John F*N Kerry and Triumph the Insult Dog ... which wins on points only because it was unscripted lol.
18
posted on
11/08/2005 2:08:28 PM PST
by
sono
(That was a metaphor. You DO know what a metaphor is? - Z Miller)
To: Mo1; Tony Snow; radioproducer; defconw; Bahbah; Txsleuth
Do not read with a drink near the keyboard *PING*
19
posted on
11/08/2005 2:11:33 PM PST
by
tiredoflaundry
("Youth" - French for Muslim Rioters)
To: areafiftyone
I wish. 8) heh heh heh. That's funny.
20
posted on
11/08/2005 2:19:50 PM PST
by
Allen H
(Liberalism; where facts & reality are whatever you want them to be. A sad ACLU,for a better America!)
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