Parody ZOT of Free Republic

6,061 posted on 12/12/2005 2:04:25 PM PST by Irish_Thatcherite (~~~A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!~~~)

I have no doubt that a positive attitude helps to protect your health, and prolong your life.

Plus, it makes you more fun to be around. A win-win!

6,062 posted on 12/12/2005 2:04:35 PM PST by NicknamedBob (To all my FRiends on Free Republic, *Merry Christmas*,& to all my Jewish Friends, *Merry Christmas*)

6,063 posted on 12/12/2005 2:04:37 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

Something twisted about a pink gun, I hope the liberals don't see that pic!!

6,064 posted on 12/12/2005 2:05:44 PM PST by Irish_Thatcherite (~~~A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!~~~)

Size 6 rings work.

(No matter whose nose they are in...)

6,065 posted on 12/12/2005 2:05:57 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

To: Irish_Thatcherite

Heh, I can't imagine any Irishman willing wearing a pair.
I meant men in general... I was actually picturing men
in business suits walking around NY city, in stilettos.
I think my imagination was running away with me.

6,066 posted on 12/12/2005 2:08:19 PM PST by Darkchylde (Don't try my brother's coffee!)

To: Irish_Thatcherite

6,067 posted on 12/12/2005 2:08:54 PM PST by EsmeraldaA

To: Irish_Thatcherite

6,068 posted on 12/12/2005 2:08:55 PM PST by EsmeraldaA

6,069 posted on 12/12/2005 2:09:58 PM PST by EsmeraldaA

Oh no, not nose rings. Rings on my fingers. *&
bells on her toes & a bone in her nose ho ho*

6,070 posted on 12/12/2005 2:10:21 PM PST by Darkchylde (Don't try my brother's coffee!)

from that review, looks like it needs shooting-in - never fired a new large-bore which didn't.

6,071 posted on 12/12/2005 2:10:40 PM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)

To: Alice au Wonderland

I just thought you would like to know (since we are 2/3 of a continent apart) that I'm naming my new kitty Mc Xlplx...Pronounced Mc Xilplix...:o]

6,072 posted on 12/12/2005 2:11:15 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

To: NicknamedBob

If I had a negative attitude, I would have been dead a long time ago...probably shot by a jealous wife who can't hit a target with both hands, in broad (no pun intended) daylight at two feet, with a shotgun...;o]

6,073 posted on 12/12/2005 2:15:39 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

To: Darkchylde; Monkey Face

Ahab, The Arab

Let me tell you 'bout Ahab The Arab
The Sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just dripping off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hands

He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And every evening about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde...and ride

Spoken

Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils, swingingest grade "A" number one U.S. choice dancer in the Sultan's whole harem, 'cause, heh, him and her had a thing going. You know, and they'd been carrying on for some time now behind the Sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say (imitate Arabian speech) which is arabic for, "stop, Clyde!" and Clyde would say, (imitate camel voice). Which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"
Well....

He brought that camel to a screeching halt
At the rear of Fatima's tent jumped off Clyde,
Snuck around the corner and into the tent he went
There he saw Fatima laying on a Zebra skin rug
Wearing rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
And a bone in her nose ho, ho.
Spoken

There she was friends lying there in all her radiant beauty. Eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate, bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars, sipping on a "R C" Co-Cola listening to her transistor, watching the Grand Ole Opry on the tube reading the Mad magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor?" and Ahab walked up to her and he said, (imitate Arabian speech) which is arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby." (laughter) You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug, give him one of the sly looks, she said, (coy, girlish laugh) "Crazy baby".
'Round and around and around and around...etc.

And that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The Sheik of the Burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab
The swinging Sheik of the burnin' sand

Written by: Ray Stevens

6,074 posted on 12/12/2005 2:16:37 PM PST by NicknamedBob (To all my FRiends on Free Republic, *Merry Christmas*,& to all my Jewish Friends, *Merry Christmas*)

And the rest of the song goes...."... "

One of my favorites!

6,075 posted on 12/12/2005 2:17:01 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

To: NicknamedBob; Darkchylde

LOL!

Anything by Ray Stevens works for me. He is a comic genius!

6,076 posted on 12/12/2005 2:21:32 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

To: Monkey Face; NicknamedBob

You'd be surprised how many people don't know
where that's from, you quote it & get funny looks.

6,077 posted on 12/12/2005 2:23:37 PM PST by Darkchylde (Don't try my brother's coffee!)

To: NicknamedBob

What was the one where he kept making obscene telephone calls?

6,078 posted on 12/12/2005 2:25:05 PM PST by stephenjohnbanker

My kids know, and so do their friends. Otherwise, they aren't "friends" very long. Ray Stevens was funny when I was "younger" so I'm pretty loyal...he's still funny as all get-out. ;o]

6,079 posted on 12/12/2005 2:27:43 PM PST by Monkey Face (A bheil síon anns do fhéile, no a tha thu buidhe 'nam amharc?)

....................and then along came Jones!!!!!!

6,080 posted on 12/12/2005 2:27:49 PM PST by stephenjohnbanker

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