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Parody ZOT of Free Republic

Posted on 11/03/2005 10:28:48 PM PST by TheMadLurker

If you have a sense of humor, and can poke fun at yourself:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/fear4republic/


TOPICS:
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To: Do not dub me shapka broham

Rush Limbaugh's brain is gonna take over the world.

LOL!


12,481 posted on 12/31/2005 7:06:34 AM PST by Baraonda (Demographic is destiny. Don't hire 3rd world illegal aliens nor support businesses that hire them.)
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To: phantomworker; tuliptree76; sionnsar

Actually ZOT! is from the comic B.C.

Whenever the cavemen did something "unforgivable" a bolt of lightning would come out of a small cloud and the accompanying "sound" was "ZOT!"

Now you know! Welcome to the Undead Thread!


12,482 posted on 12/31/2005 7:09:12 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: A CA Guy
Only a crock pot is safer than the oven.

I use the microwave, the toaster oven and the crock pot. Unless I bake cookies. I also use a small hot plate once in a while...I don't like the bills that come with 220..

12,483 posted on 12/31/2005 7:18:24 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: Baraonda
With any luck!

:-)

12,484 posted on 12/31/2005 7:50:40 AM PST by Do not dub me shapka broham
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To: sionnsar; airborne; tuliptree76; King Prout; Dead Corpse; Genesis defender; timpad; TASMANIANRED; ..

Flight Profile:

Okay, here’s the concept. If you have ever tried to play paddle-ball, the one that has the rubber ball attached to the paddle with an elastic cord, you’ve seen this maneuver.

If you are like me, when you try to hit the ball on its first return, it zooms past, and then comes back with even more momentum when you pull it back with the elastic cord.

Well, that’s what we’re going to do with the Moon. I know it looks like a ball, but it’s going to be our paddle.

We’re on the ball, or at least I hope we are. We don’t want to actually impact the Moon, we want to go zooming past.

Our first pass going around the Moon will begin stretching our tether. As we get farther and farther from the Earth/Moon system, the gravitational bond will be stretched more and more, storing a great deal of potential energy.

Then when we return toward the Moon, it will already have moved in its orbit around Earth. It is that motion which will give us extra velocity toward Mars. We’re going to steal some of the Moon’s momentum.

That’s only fair. It has been stealing Earth’s momentum for millennia, in the form of tides. The transfer of momentum between the Earth and the Moon slows the Earth, and pushes the Moon higher in its orbit.

Our little theft will not be noticeable, or even measurable, but it will give us a kick in the pants as we go by on the second loop. We won’t feel it, for we will be in free fall, but it will make our trip to Mars much faster.

The free fall referred to above will not mean we have to hang on to things. We will still be rotating for artificial gravity. It just means we will be going faster without expending reaction mass.

There is a price to pay, of course. We will arrive in the Martian sphere of influence with quite a bit of extra momentum. Our cometary orbit path will have to be modified by rocket propulsion after we get there, rather than before.

You may well ask, why hasn’t NASA done it this way? The answer is, NASA doesn’t think this way. To use reaction fuel at the end of the journey, rather than at the beginning, is counter-intuitive to everything they are familiar with.

“Of course you have to use a lot of fuel at the beginning, and every pound of fuel you need at the end of the journey has to be purchased with ten to a hundred pounds of fuel at the beginning. You can’t re-write the Laws of Physics!”

Ahem. Well, no. We’re not rewriting physics. We’re just using some different applications of it. The Earth-Moon system is a double planet. If you could imagine a bar of iron stuck through their respective bodies, and extended out into space, you would see that the end of it, way beyond the Moon, would be whipping around at a pretty good clip, even though the Moon orbits only once a month.

If you launched your vessel from the end of that imaginary iron bar, it would already have a good velocity, and it would come at the expense of the angular momentum of the Earth-Moon system.

Clear as a bell, right?

Okay, we swing around the Moon sometime tonight, giving a new use for a New Moon, and we head off toward that balance point in space where we would be equidistant from the attraction of the Earth and Moon, and the gravitational attraction of the rest of the Universe.

Then we will slow, and stop, and gradually begin falling back toward the Earth again. We will supplement that acceleration with a steady rocket thrust, and build up a tremendous velocity, spurred by the gravitational attraction of the Moon.

I’m using the Moon in particular because it has so much less orbital debris floating around it. It would be virtually impossible for a vessel this size to do a slingshot maneuver around Earth without impacting something in orbit. That would not be a good thing.

So we’ll use the Moon as our paddle, and its gravity as our elastic tether, until we build up so much speed that we just go zipping along toward the next planet out, which would be Mars.

My calculations indicate we should arrive sometime in late April.

Then we’ll have some fun, as we try to slow down enough to be captured by the Martian gravity. At least it’s a quicker trip.

Piece-of-cake, right? Child’s play, really.

Okay, the best view of the Moon will occur after we pass it, when it will be brilliantly illuminated by the Sun.

We’ll go from a dark, New Moon to a bright Full Moon in a matter of seconds. Nail-biting seconds, for some. No need to worry, though. If we impacted, we would all be killed before we had a chance to blink, even.

After we zip past the Moon, we’ll have a few days to set up the rotation of the Thrust Ring, for our reverse thrust procedure, but I’ll explain that later. Just continue with your regular chores, or vacation activities.


12,485 posted on 12/31/2005 7:58:30 AM PST by NicknamedBob (So now the plane's going down, and all MacGyver finds is a spork -- Who ya gonna blame? WBAL,"Larry")
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To: tuliptree76; Neets; Darksheare; scott0347; timpad; Conspiracy Guy; NYC GOP Chick; MeekOneGOP; ...
Image hosted by Photobucket.com HAPPY NEW YEAR to the RKBA Crew and everybody else on the UndeadThread and FreeRepublic! LongLive Jim Robinson!!!
12,486 posted on 12/31/2005 7:59:08 AM PST by Chode (American Hedonist ©®)
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To: NicknamedBob
....No need to worry, though. If we impacted, we would all be killed before we had a chance to blink, even....

Wellnow! I feel relieved...NOT!!!

I'm a very nervous passenger, Bob, due to my car accident a bazillion years ago...I could have gone the entire trip without reading that...:o|

12,487 posted on 12/31/2005 8:03:08 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: NicknamedBob

Sounds complex, but I'm sure you'll handle it excellently!

I have to go mediate a dispute about crayons. Martyred sigh.


12,488 posted on 12/31/2005 8:03:53 AM PST by Tax-chick (I am just not sure how to get from here to where we want to be.)
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To: Chode

Thanks, Chode! Happy New Year to you, as well! And may it be a much better one than last year!


12,489 posted on 12/31/2005 8:04:05 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: Tax-chick

Good morning, TC!

How are you feeling?


12,490 posted on 12/31/2005 8:04:32 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: Monkey Face

Doing fine, except that I'm stuck trying to FReep on a laptop while Der Prinz is loading some game program on the real computer! I may not be able to get up off the floor. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up on the floor, either ...

How are you? Nice new tagline!


12,491 posted on 12/31/2005 8:09:22 AM PST by Tax-chick (I am just not sure how to get from here to where we want to be.)
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To: Monkey Face

Thank you! That is a really funny comic strip.

Happy New Year!


12,492 posted on 12/31/2005 8:13:06 AM PST by phantomworker (Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.)
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To: Tax-chick

"...I may not be able to get up off the floor. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up on the floor, either..."

Then for heaven's sake, make it worth your while to be down there! Have someone bring you a glass of wine!

"...Nice new tagline!"

*looking down and behind me*
Thanks! I thought it might look good on me!


12,493 posted on 12/31/2005 8:13:25 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: Monkey Face
"I'm a very nervous passenger, Bob, due to my car accident a bazillion years ago..."

Relax, Sweetheart! I've been in lots of accidents. Don't worry about a thing ... trust the voice of experience.

12,494 posted on 12/31/2005 8:13:58 AM PST by NicknamedBob (So now the plane's going down, and all MacGyver finds is a spork -- Who ya gonna blame? WBAL,"Larry")
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To: phantomworker

You can read it online, too! Along with Calvin & Hobbes, and a host of others. I haven't checked for Mother Goose and Grimm, but one of these days...

I hope you enjoy your stay here!


12,495 posted on 12/31/2005 8:14:39 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: tuliptree76

Happy New Year, Tulip!!


12,496 posted on 12/31/2005 8:15:44 AM PST by stephenjohnbanker (Merry Christmas and happy new year to all our troops at home and abroad!!)
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To: NicknamedBob

Er...yah...but, see...I was left on the pavement to die in the rain...and I don't want any more "accidents."

At least if I'm at the helm, I'm in control...somewhat. ;o]


12,497 posted on 12/31/2005 8:17:06 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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To: NicknamedBob

"No need to worry, though. If we impacted, we would all be killed before we had a chance to blink, even."

What me worry?

Happy New Year NmB!


12,498 posted on 12/31/2005 8:20:32 AM PST by stephenjohnbanker (Merry Christmas and happy new year to all our troops at home and abroad!!)
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To: Monkey Face

If you're the nervous type, I would think you would not want to be "at the helm" for this flyby.

Those several seconds when the Moon is skimming by us at about five hundred miles per second just a few miles away would probably best be spent with your eyes closed, or looking at a diagrammatic representation.

It would be more reassuring to you to do some star-sightings and distance and velocity measurements.


12,499 posted on 12/31/2005 8:28:09 AM PST by NicknamedBob (So now the plane's going down, and all MacGyver finds is a spork -- Who ya gonna blame? WBAL,"Larry")
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To: NicknamedBob

No way do I want to hide from my fears!

I want to stare the moon in the face when we go by!


12,500 posted on 12/31/2005 8:29:20 AM PST by Monkey Face ("He's so old his blood type was discontinued. ~~ Bill Dana)
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