The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[HitmanLV]

Say what you will. What I said remains true enough to be valid as a general principle.

[peacebaby]

HitmanNY, what did you say?

Nevermind...I don't need anything but this chair, and this flashlight (Steve Martin from The Jerk),

and my prozac (Peacebaby from everyday life)

[HitmanLV]

The correct note would be a list of things for her to pick up for you the next time she is at the grocery store, promising to reimburse her of course.

Oh, and get her name wrong. ;-)

[PaulaB]

Sorry ...here is a bigger can for all!!

[pissant]

Not sure how useful I'd be to this discussion. But he's an idiot, that much I know.

[blackie]

Are you gonna be giving me mouth-to-mouth?

What are friends for???? ;);)

[HitmanLV]

Suit yourself. Part of being a good hustler, besides knowing what works, is knowing when nothing will work. Cut losses. Cut effort.

I never understood our culture's problem with being a quitter. I'm a quitter. It always worked well for me.

[Dashing Dasher]

Obscure movie references for 1000, Alex.

[Maximus of Texas]

"..My products sell for $ 300 or more "

Naw, we can just download them for free off the net. Filesharing is great.

[HitmanLV]

"Don't feed the plants!!!"

[Dashing Dasher]

* In the interest of clarity, that's an oldschool definition of hustler: "a shrewd (or unscrupulous) person who knows how to circumvent difficulties; goal: get people's money." Not the more modern definition: a hooker. :-)

Subtle difference.

[Maximus of Texas]

Little Shop of Horrors.

What did I win?

[PaulaB]

CPR??? hmmmm I think I'll

leave that to the paramedic...

I'll make sure she's a female LOL

[Valpal1]

hmm, was that movie "Hitch" based on you?

[HitmanLV]

Nope, none of it is available on filesharing. I market to a very compeditive niche and they tend to be way too selfish to do that. I check regularly, too.

[blackie]

Yer all heart! ;)

[Dashing Dasher]

You get momentary affection from a nameless, faceless stranger.


It seems to make most men around here happy.


;-)

[peacebaby]

woa, man. That's some heavy sh*t, dude. Chill

[HitmanLV]

No, not at all. I don't train men to do well with women, that's not my niche, though me and Mr. Jeeves have considered co-hosting a $ 1,000-a-head weekeend seminar here in Las Vegas to turn Freeper 'nice guys' into more macho, decisive, and uncompromising types.

Attraction from women naturally follows. :-)

[Maximus of Texas]

That was nice. Thanks

(lighting up cigarette)