The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[teenyelliott]

The ones with the lines going up the back.

[Maximus of Texas]

Ok, stop it!

[teenyelliott]

And a garter belt.

[Maximus of Texas]

You know, they don't furnish cold showers here at work so you can stop at anytime.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

I'll take over reading duties if'n ya want...

[Maximus of Texas]

LOL

[Argh]

I've got to spend more time on this thread...

[SoothingDave]

Keep at it and the hose you're gonna need is a garden hose. LOL

SD

[teenyelliott]

Just a little bit of cyber torment. I am at a safe distance. ; )

[teenyelliott]

But there are no photos, except the one of the beast on the post.

[SweetCaroline]

Just wanted to tell ya that there's at least one woman...me, that is on your side. You said nothing wrong and did nothing wrong.

I think you're brilliant. ;-) ....HOW SAD!!!

....any woman defending a man who lies and hustles for a living has no self respect and more than likely is a hustler herself, therefore deemed sordid.

If respect is what your looking for your posting in the wrong forum. May I suggest you move to one called "MOCHO PIGS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM!"

One more thing, your remark about the ALPHA PRINCESS was laughable, because we women on FR are all free thinkers, yet many of us think alike, but we do speak for ourselves. Sure were friends, but not one is more important than the other.

I don't see any women backing you and that's a good sign cause the less women that glorify these loosers, the sooner they'll go away.

[SoothingDave]

What's it like having no sense of humor?

Hitman was being self-deprecating in referring to himself as a "hustler." He describes himself as some type of what we would call a "motivational speaker." While suspect as being the beneficiary of general management cluelessness, this is hardly the same as "lying for a living."

SD

[HitmanLV]

Thanks!! :-)

[bigsigh]

I'm 40 also.....................pounds overweight.

[SweetCaroline]

I have a great sense of humor and I know a Jacka$$ when I see, hear and smell one. I see no humor in hitmans post and if you do, your no better.

[SoothingDave]

Not sharing a sense of humor with someone whose home page contains "humor" about smothering your man with a pillow, I can cope with.

SD

[SweetCaroline]

That's your problem...go for it!

[HitmanLV]

Specifically what makes me a jacka$$?

[Nowhere Man]

IMHO(which does not count for much around here) BOTH of these people, in the original story are WHORES, the man is, the woman is. Both are just looking for "another notch'; obviously, without any thought of commitment. Am I the only one who noticed that?

I noriced that myself, basically it seems like both parties were out for a quick fling to me.

ANYONE who would have sex after one, or even several dates, is NOT looking for a lasting relationship. They are looking for physical gratification, and not in any way interested in trying to please the other person, or being friends, in any way other than sexually. To me, this kind of attitude cheapens sex, and male/female relationships.

Although you're preaching to the choir, at least with me, all I can add is, "megadittoes."

Now, go ahead and hit me.

Well, in my case, I have the armor of an M1 tank but my smog generators are ready to go. B-) I'm used to it. B-)

[Nowhere Man]

That does NOT mean that it is ok to continue to do sin blatantly(as in sexual promiscuity), and claim to lead a Christian life. After all, Christ would forgive someone of their sins and THEN-- say "go and sin no more". Therefore, when someone DOES change, they are then expected to live a life commiserate to that of Christ. Otherwise, what is the difference, if a person does NOT change?

I look at it this way too. I always believed in the power of reform and redemption. We are all sinners and there are times all of us stumble at times. It is like getting in a car accidint, you need to get behind that wheel again really soon as you get back on the road to Christ and good living. I think a problem that some people of faith do have and I think they are in error on this part is some of them would take a look at someone who lives a lifestyle of sin or has done so in the past and call them a "loser" and whatever else and see no redemption there. This is wrong, plus the rough rhetoric would drive that person away, if he or she is living a life of terrible sin instead of helping them. This helps no one, espeically the person driven off who now feels even more embittered.

And YES-- I did say, that I do not get along well with women who espouse the modern, valueless lifestyle, like the one in the article, and who only want sex or money . I am not the only guy that feels that way here. I did NOT say that I would not get together with someone who HAD lived that way, and had changed, however.

Again, I'm with ya. If a girl has changed and accepted Christ and the good life, I have no problem if she had such a terrible past. I still would like her to be honest with me about it, first relationships for life ought to be based on honest of both parties as well if there are problems from the past that crop up, we can deal with them together. The worst feeling in the world is if something from a terrible past comes up and the person cannot confide in the other for fear of losing them. If the love and commitment is true, they would battle these skeletons from the closet together.

Unfortunatly there are few/some who will not change for whatever reason. All we can do is leave them be and hopefully they will come to God on their own free will. The pointing of fingers at the drop of a hat is not the way to go and if one does it often, there will be a time twhere 4 or 5 fingers can be pointing back.