The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[SweetCaroline]

Millee, that was only three months ago!LOL

I have since found out that it is smart to take Activated Charcoal after a night like that if you think your gonna feel bad. It pulls the toxins out of the stomach.

[PaulaB]

We only drank that to hide the breath.... ;)

I have been hurt by Southern Comfort also

it use to come for me ...ALOT

[PaulaB]

Something that makes me gag to this day when I think of it is Purple Passion

[Millee]

Well...I was kidding about the two months ago. It happened when I was in my 20's. BUT I can honestly say, George Bush was president then too! ;o)

[EX52D]

I've never had that, what is that? Pain in a bottle?

[PaulaB]

Ingredients:

1 1/4 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Triple sec
1 splash Grape juice
1 splash Cranberry juice
Mixing instructions:
Shake and strain into shot glass then die.......

[Millee]

Purple Passion??? You sly one you!!!

[PaulaB]

my true identity has been revealed

Dearly beloved...we have gathered at this thing called life ;)

[SweetCaroline]

LOL....and I bet it was all his fault!

[SweetCaroline]

LMAO....pissy won't join us on these kind of threads.

[Dashing Dasher]

Pissy sent me about 50 FRmails - doesn't like to show his affection in public.

;-)

[pissant]

Affection Schmafection. I'm still waiting for Max's beer joint tip to consumate the trade!

[Dashing Dasher]

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine.

[pissant]

ROFL. I would say "here's looking at you kid", but I prefer "WILLLLMAAAAA"

[SweetCaroline]

sounds like him!!!

[peacebaby]

tuning in late...your septer is plugging up Kimmy Jay's rear end, me thinks

sorry Mod, it's past 6 pm here.

[peacebaby]

Pissy sent you about 50 emails. Geez, what a lucky gal.

[pissant]

Hey. I'm listening!!!

[SweetCaroline]

Opps,who would know????

..... haven't heard from you all day!!!!

[pissant]

Dash is just being the DQ again. She's lucky if I send her one emial a month! ;o)