The Advice Goddess

Westword.com ^ | Amy Alkon

[Millee]

I'm 40, the cute girl from upstairs is 23. When she stopped by to commiserate about loud neighbors, we had a beer, went dancing, and then had sex. Afterward, she seemed weird and left abruptly. I wrote her a note, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I love you and look forward to seeing you again." She hasn't looked at me since. Where did I go wrong? -- Mr. Neighbor

Grateful as you may be to a girl for having sex with you, it's never a good idea to let on. You could've had a future with her -- the kind 40-year-old guys without handfuls of bling typically have with 23-year-old girls: jump-starting their cars, lugging their couches up four flights of stairs, and maybe catching a little action when there are no hot young guys to be found. You blew it, though, with "I'm a lonely sack of emptiness!" -- which is how "I love you" translates after one beer, one dance, and one roll in the sack. (You say "I love you"; she says "It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

[HitmanLV]

No blockage - I am asking you what in my postings led you to beleive that, especially since I don't think I gave that impression.

Point to what I said that suggests that confidence/success is inconsistent with caring/loving?

That's the question. It's fairly straightforward, too.

[najida]

I miss all the fun threads :(

Stupid Chicken Crisis!

[Dashing Dasher]

Remember it well.....

Sniffle.

[Millee]

Crispy or Original Recepie??? I hate chicken crisis too! ;o)

[SoothingDave]

Hitman, now might be a wise time to quit. :-)

For some reason some of the ladies here get upset with the things you say. I can't explain it. All you said was that when a girl gets all weirded out after a casual romp and flees the situation, mooning after her with an "I love you" note isn't very wise.

They're acting like you said "after having sex, throw the girl out to make sure she doesn't think you like her or anything."

Which you didn't.

SD

[PaulaB]

Exhibit A-I'm not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. I'm a hustler*

Exhibit B-Judgmental types might say I train people in manipulation

Does this sound like a guy who has confidence, success, plus can rub a womans back when she's tired or listen to her talk about nothing?
You talk a big game...but I think your tone may send women running in the opposite direction words like manipulation and hustler never got my hubby want he wanted most....

[PaulaB]

actually I didn't have an issue with that post..

I agree actually

and I am not angry...just curious

[najida]

More like undercooked,
but when you're dealing with those who can't be dealt with....

~~sigh~~

[HitmanLV]

Does this sound like a guy who has confidence, success, plus can rub a womans back when she's tired or listen to her talk about nothing?

Sure, why not? I do that all the time. I've been dating the same very attractive woman for a few years now and both of us are very happy.

Exhibit A is a joke, by the way, and Exhibit B tells you what judgmental types might say, and also a bit of a joke.

You draw strange conclusions.

[Millee]

but when you're dealing with those who can't be dealt with....

Darlin, you're on the right thread! LOLOL!

[PaulaB]

You need to start using

/sarcasm


though I think alot of what you post

is humor with a twist of male pigness to get a reaction

so I am left to wonder if your serious

or looking for a "what did you just say" ;)

[Mr. Jeeves]

They're acting like you said "after having sex, throw the girl out to make sure she doesn't think you like her or anything."

Which you didn't.

He didn't, but that quote evidently describes a past personal experience for most of his critics. ;)

[Dashing Dasher]

So, let me tell you guys what I did last night...

After dinner (& a few adult bevs)..

One of the sweet old farts at my airport (who I adore) was taken to the hospital yesterday AM and is in ICU - not too too serious - but his age is a contributing factor.

So, after dinner last night, we went to see him. We told them that I was his daughter and the asian guy was my husband and the black guy was my brother and the older guy was my cousin.

They pretty much ignored our racially diverse crowd and let us in to see him!

He was thrilled to see us, of course. I just couldn't get over the look on their faces - LOL!!

Hilarious!!!

[HitmanLV]

though I think alot of what you post is humor with a twist of male pigness to get a reaction...

Well, now that might be true. ;-) So I am left to wonder if your serious or looking for a "what did you just say" ;)

Some seriousness, some joking, and sometimes I like to keep some guessing in between the two. ;-)

[PaulaB]

Sorry to disappoint..but not me...

why is it when women talk

to men about a weird male view

men think the women had or have man issues?

I am curious as to why you guys react that way...

but I'm weird....

[peacebaby]

that was such a nice thing to do, DD! Hope the guy's OK.

[PaulaB]

LOL

[Dashing Dasher]

They're acting like you said "after having sex, throw the girl out to make sure she doesn't think you like her or anything."

Which you didn't.

He didn't, but that quote evidently describes a past personal experience for most of his critics. ;)

That just get funnier and funnier, don't they!?

LOL!!!

[Millee]

We told them that I was his daughter and the asian guy was my husband and the black guy was my brother and the older guy was my cousin.

LOLOL! You just described every local newscast in the country.

Dasher - pretty female anchor
Asian guy - weather
Black guy - sports
Older guy - fatherly anchor

It's perfect!! LOL

[SoothingDave]

why is it when women talk... to men about a weird male view... men think the women had or have man issues?

(Do you have a really tiny screen or what?)

I think in this case, I can't figure out why you are giving Hitman a hard time. So it must be something more visceral.

SD