Posted on 10/19/2005 6:52:09 AM PDT by pissant
It took some effort, but I was able to find Sex on a shelf in a storage facility on Tuesday morning.
Actually, I didn't find sex -- I found Sex, the 1992 literary and photographic masterpiece from Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone. I wrote about the book when it was released, and then I filed it away with hundreds of books, files, notes, tapes, etc.
I hope one day to donate all these research materials to the University of Phoenix, perhaps the finest education facility on all the Internet.
You might recall that the book was hugely controversial when it was released in the fall of '92, just before Bill Clinton was elected president. (No, the president didn't make a guest appearance in the book.) It was the size of an in-flight dinner tray, it retailed for $50, and the covers were made of aluminum.
"This book is about sex," Madonna wrote in the introduction. "Sex is not love. Love is not sex. But the best of both worlds is created when they come together. You can love God, you can love the planet, you can love the human race and you can love all things, but the best way for human beings to show love is to love one another."
I happen to believe that the best way for human beings to show love is to turn off their cell phones, but she's got a point.
Madonna, continued: "These are fantasies I have dreamed up. . . . Everything you are about to see is a fantasy, a dream, pretend. . . And by the way, any similarity between characters and events depicted in this book and real persons and events is not only purely coincidental, it's ridiculous. Nothing in this book is true. I made it all up."
And what a fertile imagination Madonna possessed in '92.
Ice Ice Baby!
The book features Madonna in character as "Dita," who tells us that she will be our mistress and that she is "not a witch," but she IS "a love technician."
Wonder if you have to go to school for that.
Turn the page and you're hit with hard-core images of Madonna -- in character as Dita -- striking poses that would have had Hugh Hefner looking away in embarrassment.
Madonna in a leather S&M outfit, with strategic cutouts.
Madonna with a switchblade pressed against her material world.
Madonna engaged in a heavy bondage scene with multiple partners of both sexes.
Madonna, sad to say, as the victim in a rape fantasy.
Madonna topless, kneeling over a dog.
Madonna getting frisky with actress Isabella Rosellini.
Madonna with Naomi Campbell and rapper Big Daddy Kane.
Madonna engaged in serious foreplay with Robbie Van Winkle, then known as Vanilla Ice. His hair is so tall it's cut off by the top of the page.
Along with the photos there was some cheap-porn prose, most of it much too graphic to repeat here.
For all its shock value, Sex wasn't particularly erotic in 1992, and it seems even sillier in 2005.
Especially in the case of those Vanilla Ice pictures.
Dominatrix to disciplinarian
In the 21st century, Madonna still engages in the occasional sexual stunt, e.g., kissing Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears on TV, but mostly she plays the mom card with the media.
Madonna told Newsweek that when it comes to the parenting of Lourdes, 9, and Rocco, 5, "When Daddy gets home, they get chocolate. I'm the disciplinarian."
The children aren't allowed to have milk or ice cream -- nor can they read magazines or watch TV.
Here's a guarantee for you: If you never let your children read magazines or watch TV, they're going to grow up and become addicted to magazines and TV.
There's always that one kid in the neighborhood who isn't allowed to drink pop or watch TV or play video games or eat sweets at birthday parties. That's inevitably the kid who rebels hardest against his parents, runs away at 15 and spends six weeks hiding out at his friends' houses, immersing himself in bubblegum, Mountain Dew and "Grand Theft Auto."
It also kills me whenever I hear celebrities denouncing elements of the very same pop culture that made them famous. We constantly hear television actors talking about how they don't have TVs in their homes, or movie actors saying they "don't have time" to go to movies, or reality TV princesses saying people who buy the tabloids "should get a life."
Of course, there should be a difference between the role Madonna played in a sex book in 1992, and Madonna the real-life mom in 2005. (If there weren't, she'd lose custody of the kids in a heartbeat.) It's just funny to hear the woman who has redefined the art of media manipulation saying that she wants to shield her children from even watching television or looking at magazines.
Of all people, Madonna should know that forbidden fruit is the most enticing
Wow! Something by Richard Roeper I actually agree with!
Yeah, he gave thumbs down to Wallace and Gromit, the dolt.
Madonna should keep her "singing" voice to herself too.
I would love to sit somewhere near her kids and have that book open. Madonna would freak out and yet she had no problem exposing our kids to that crap.
Madonna is so last decade's news. I wish she would just accept that nobody CARES about her any more.
If I were Madonna, I wouldn't let my kids watch TV or read magazines either for fear that they may see replays of her MTV appearance where she pretended to masturbate on stage to her "Like a Virgin" song or maybe her kids might see an old video of her dressed up like a peep-show dancer or maybe her kids might learn the fact that even MTV had to ban one of her videos or maybe she wants to cover up the fact that she sucked face with two ladies young enough to be her daughters or maybe.....
Yea. She SHOULD keep her kids from watching TV or reading magazines so they don't get corrupted like the millions of young women that were corrupted by her in the mid 80's and early 90's. Britney and Christina only WISH they could influence as many young women as Madonna did.
Then she has the balls, yes I believe she has balls, to criticize our society and she believes that we are in a social downfall. HA!
Hey Madonna, STFU!
You know just the other day, I was sitting around in my house.
I had that new book with pictures of Madonna naked.
I was checking it out.
Well, just then a friend of mine came through the door,
She said she'd never pegged me for a scumbag before.
She said she didn't ever want to see me any more,
And I still don't know why!
I think I'm an all right guy.
I think I'm an all right guy.
I just want to live until I've got to die.
I know I ain't perfect, but God knows I try.
I think I'm an all right guy.
I think I'm all right.
more stupid celebri-hole news:
Tom Cruise Scientology Spoof site
scienTOMology.info | Today | Brainhose
Posted on 10/19/2005 2:24:32 PM PDT by Brainhose
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1505454/posts
and a showbiz wannabee:
Snow bunny stages protest against fast-food chain
KTUU channel 2 (Anchorage | 10-13-05 | Sean Doogan
Posted on 10/14/2005 12:06:35 PM PDT by Species8472
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1502567/posts
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.