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To: BJClinton
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Thank goodness it's Friday.

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

12 posted on 10/14/2005 5:59:09 AM PDT by Xenophobic Alien (I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.)
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To: Xenophobic Alien

So true...and funny!


47 posted on 10/14/2005 6:26:07 AM PDT by toddlintown (Your papers please.)
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To: Xenophobic Alien
Here's what happens to a stupid new husband (true story):

About two months after our wedding, my wife and I were traveling down US 17 in NC going to visit my parents. My wife wanted to drive so we stopped in Chocowinity, NC and changed drivers. I told her I was going to take a nap. She asked me how to get where we were going. I told her to just stay on 17 until we got to New Bern and then wake me up. About 10 miles down the road, she wakes me and asks "Which way do I go?" She had come to a fork with a sign over it that basically said Vanceboro - straight ahead and New Bern - veer to the left. I asked her what does the sign say. She said "What sign?" as we drove under the sign. I made her turn around and go back and read the sign.

Needless to say, it wasn't a good weekend.
151 posted on 10/14/2005 7:46:07 AM PDT by fredhead ( I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. - Patton)
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