Posted on 10/12/2005 8:15:36 AM PDT by areafiftyone
Now THAT'S smurfed up!
Most sane people figured this out 25 years ago, but finally the U.N. got the memo that Smurfs are up to no good and bombed their sorry blue butts:
These subhuman creatures live in a patriarical society ruled by a quasi-religious dictator with a beard, they devalue the lone female in the town by forcing her to care for the children (a career-killing move for any upwardly mobile young woman), and they hate cats... and that really pissed off Laurence Simon. To top it off, they are somehow related to Belgium.
Oh, wait. Now I'm getting word that this is actually an anti-war campaign funded by the UN to shame George W. Bush for personally toppling brutal Arab dictatorships and make Americans feel guilty for cutting off Kojo Anan's multimillion dollar per year gig moonlighting for Baathist Iraq's oil merchants.
Yep, after seeing the devastation of the Smurfs, I can't help feeling smurfy. George W. Bush is so smurfing bad, I just smurfed myself.
Can the carnage of the Snorks be far behind?
Justification For War
As outlined in President Bush's 2003 State of the Union Address, the US had good cause for the invasion and bombing of the Smurf Village:
Ruthless dictator Saddam Smurfsein.
Embezzled "Oil for Smurfs" money squandered on lavish palaces.
Chemical Ali Smurf cooking up Weapons of Smurfy Destruction in mobile laboratory.
Political prisoners smurfed into filthy dungeons without trial.
Less fortunate Smurfs simply "disappear".
And of course, the MOST important reason to attack the Smurfs...
They've got oil.
"Always wanted to see the Smurfs get their comuppance."
You too?!
I lived out this fantasy when I was a wee lad. I had a cousin who had some Smurf toys. Those Smurfs leanred that justice can be a b*tch when G.I. Joe is on point...
LOL! Very funny, I like it. :-)
smurfy ping
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