It's normal, they are just like you and I ...
Posted on 10/07/2005 9:12:18 PM PDT by indcons
Man, that's harsh (not untrue, but harsh) - WWN is the most entertainment you can get for a buck. I love them a lot!
Well....they do have some crazy stories that reflect real stories at times.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR PROSTITUTE IS AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL!
Here, from government experts, are 10 warning signs that the prostitute you've picked up is a sinister space babe:
1. Looks too good to be true -- If that curvy cutie working the street corner is a dead ringer for Catherine Zeta-Jones, odds are the gorgeous star isn't moonlighting. A shape-shifting ET has probably adopted the form of your dream girl.
2. Out-of-date lingo -- Alien prostitutes try to fit in by using streetwalker slang -- but often use outdated terms. A hooker who sees a police car and whispers, "Cheese it, the fuzz!" likely hails from deep space.
3. Evasive about identity and origins -- Few gals in "the life" are forthcoming about their full names. But a scarlet woman who refuses even to divulge where she comes from -- vaguely describing her birthplace as "the Midwest" or "overseas" -- could be an ET.
4. Odd, hard-to-place accent. "They have trouble pronouncing the letter 'R,' " Manling reveals.
5. Unusually petite -- The average alien hooker stands roughly 5 feet tall, but may attempt to disguise her size with ridiculously high heels.
6. Sex was "unbelievable." If the encounter was "everything you've always fantasized about," chances are the memory was implanted by ETs.
7. Missing time -- If you paid for an hour with a hooker, but your watch indicates four hours have gone by, this suggests part of your memory of the encounter has been erased.
8. Seems telepathic -- A fallen woman who finishes your sentences or slips up and mentions your real name when you've given her a bogus one, is probably invading your thoughts -- and our planet.
9. Over-perfumed -- Hookers from outer space often try to mask their peculiar ET body odor.
10. Squeamish about spanking -- Terrestrial prostitutes are willing to perform virtually every sexual act if the money is right. But ETs don't like having their butts touched.
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/aliens/61245
I have it on good authority that it was in fact a UFO that crashed into the NO levee, thus causing water to flood the city.
/sarcasm off
Is Batboy still breast feeding?
I know it's the Weekly World News, but couldn't they make up better crap than this?
Maybe the Militia has a marching song, like, "2, 4, 6, 8..We ain't gonna for-ni-cate.
I want to write for them too. There is so much liberal nonsense that can be skewered there. My favorite is the Ed Anger column.
Psst. Would you like to buy a bridge? How about an authentic Rolex watch?
I bought the bridge from PT Barnum. I don't have a need for two of them right now. LOL.
Great work with the word play....thanks.
Glad you caught it, Rastus. I was shocked to see the response to this faux-story. That said, I don't think this story is all that improbable. Sadly, it might even come true in the next few years.
Dickering around?? My goodness, please don't tell me they really took this seriously.
The Weekly World News is great fun. I always check to see what the the cover story is at the grocery.
Mr. Mojo, this is a false news story from Weekly World News.
Check this one out!!
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/technology/60808
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