2. When I worked as a bartender, a new, cute waitress, Julie, was hired (we only hired cuties). My pal John immediately started the pursuit and ended up dating her within a few weeks. I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't bother with her. Shortly after, I noticed a strange pattern of Julie's behavior. She would one day be hostile and curt with me, then the next time I saw her she would purposely rub her breasts against me or outrageosly flirt when we were working together. Though still dating my buddy, she started leaving me notes and voicemails. She had overheard me telling another waitress that I liked short hair on women. A week later, she shows up at work with a sexy short cut. Needless to say, she made things pretty darn uncomfortable for John and I!
Aw, Pissant, you missed a golden opportunity...You should have sued for sexual harassment.
I was working at a bank once {{shudder}} where on the first day of starting, our new bank president announced that since she didn't know any of us there was no way she could trust us & she wanted us all to take a lie detector test to determine whether we'd ever stolen money from the bank. Such a peach. (Well I grabbed my Pravada bag, jumped into my Ferrari and told HER where she could stuff it!) Harumph!
Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, the more dysfunctional you are, the more job security you have.
we get two....
1. I worked for the Navy and my boss came in everyday and stuffed cotton into his ears to assure he wouldn't be bothered.
2. Upstairs in a drafting room, before the smoking police, one soul near the window ran a clear plastic tube onto the roof through a slightly opened window. The other end was in his mouth. He chose to breath through a tube at a drafting table rather than be bothered by the smoke in the very large.
1. A militant PETA-type vegetarian who won't eat anything "with a face." This includes chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps at Eastertime.
2. A savant who memorizes UPC codes, zip codes, area codes, etc. He watches old TV shows and memorizes which guest star appeared in which episode. He also has perfect pitch and is a gifted violist.
3. A paranoid, obsessive compulsive, packrat who had so much stuff packed into his office it started to bow the floor and the walls pulled away from the ceiling (it's a temporary building, only the outer walls are load bearing).
4. Sauropod. :P
When I was a prison warden I got to beat my customers and fired 40% of the staff. Everyone feared me. Other than a guy with the shank trying for me, it was a great job.
Perhaps I should have saved this for a Tryant Boss thread.
OK,
instead of cleaning house and cooking for tomorrow's company, I'm sitting here, participating.
1. I had to share a teeny tiny office with my boss,who I came to realize was totally crackerpuppies. She had a thing about odors. ANY odor. Which meant everyone, I mean EVERYONE had to make sure that their soap, deoderant, shampoo etc was unscented. I mean the odor from your dryer sheets could set her off.
Oh, did I mention I don't have a sense of smell? Anyhow, one day she went into a blind rage about some scent that was making her wheeze and I was ignoring her. By then, I knew she was nuts. Turns out, it was residual odor from the perm I had had the day before.
I went to the administrator at that point. LOOOONnnnnnnnNNGGGGGG story short, a year later I was in her position after she'd been fired.
2. This lady was a delight....Another boss, this one in Atlanta. Minority female who had clawed her way to the top. How do I know that? She told us, everyday, with a can of Diet Coke in her hand. Turns out, she was drinking vodka with her diet coke. Been doing it for years.
She was so looped most of the time she missed things like one of her supervisors coming up behind an RD (not me!) at the cafeteria salad bar and humping her from behind. And we ain't talkin' no little hump either. She was a married, super-sweet person who had put up with a lot from this guy. We all had, come to think of it.... but this sweet girl was smart, and went home and told her hubby. >:>
The ensuing firestorm brought to light a. My bosses drinking. b. The supervisor KNOWING about her drinking, and covering for her. c. Her knowing that he knew and was 'covering' for her so she just turned a blind eye to his bits of....erm, ah...piggy-ness.
Needless to say, neither are working there anymore.
He then set it with a sign which said "L.A." tucked under the close foreleg on the side of the road near Dagmar, Montana, where it looked like it was hitch hiking...
He went into the Dagmar Bar for refreshments and when he drove by on the way back to the site, the jackrabbit was gone...
Here's the worst part. I was single at the time...I'm no Don Johnson (circa 1985 Don Johnson) but I'm not an ugly guy either. I wasn't having much luck though in the lady department if you catch my meaning. One day, in front of everyone, he brings up my personal life and blasts out that I was "striking out with the ladies."
If I ever find that guy...
I turn 50 next month, so I've worked with MORE than my share of characters.....both in and out of the military.
One kinda stands out, though........
When I was a pilot in SAC, we had a boom operator (we flew KC-135 tankers) named Augie in our squadron. Augie was a piece of work.
Kept his head shaved LONG before this was considered "cool". He spoke quickly, quietly, rarely....and with a bit of a lisp (no, he wasn't gay). He lived in the dorm and had a fortune in stereo gear; he placed razor blades around his window frame to thwart burglars (found blood on 'em once, too).
Loved to catch critters and use his homemade, miniature guillotine on 'em.
Used to go out into the desert and search for scorpions with a blacklight (yep......they'd then meet the guillotine).
To watch him eat was an experience. He'd stick his fork into something (say, an entire pork chop).....lift it up in a wierd sort of way while looking it over, then smell it, then lick it....usually the underside of the item. I have no idea why.
He was a mechanical/electrical genius. Wing Ops Officer once handed him a combination lock and asked if he could figure out the combo and open it for him. Augie had it open before he hit the door on the way out.
Squadron P.A. system was always a f**ked up mess. Someone finally asked Augie to tackle it......and that thing was AMAZING by time he finished with it. He got our alert facility every imaginable channel on cable.....still not sure how he did that.
He was also one HELL of a boom operator.
Oh man have I got some doooooozies!
First job out of the army was working for an electrical construction company. Red Barret. Dumb as a box of rocks. Couldn't understand why a person didn't just know how to do electrical construction. Hired me so he'd have someone to prove he was smarter than. Same for the one other worker there.
As it was winter I always brought a thermous of tomato soup with cut up hot dogs in it. Dummy #2 berates me for being so stupid. You'll just get cold again, or some such nonsense. Dummy #1 agrees that once again they are both so much smarter than I am cause they just bring cold sandwiches.
About a week later the temp drops to zero or so. We pile into the cab of a truck trying to stay warm while eating our lunch. I'm in the middle. I crack open that thermos and steam and arouma escape into the truck. Out of the corner of my eyes I see both of their heads turn and longingly glance at my thermos. Their nostrils flare.
Under almost any other circumstance I would have shared as there was plenty to go around. This lasted a week before I got laid off.