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PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
Weekly World News, via Yahoo ^ | Monday September 12 - 2005 | MIKE FOSTER

Posted on 09/20/2005 5:25:47 AM PDT by vannrox

PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
Monday September 12, 2005



By MIKE FOSTER

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!

Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.

But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.

"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."


TOPICS:
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This is considered, on the internet, to be some kind of Joke. Or parody. Personally, I find this very hard to believe.
1 posted on 09/20/2005 5:25:52 AM PDT by vannrox
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To: vannrox

Yahoo news is now rehashing Weekly World News?

I am nearly certain I have seen this posted before.


2 posted on 09/20/2005 5:28:42 AM PDT by Jet Jaguar
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To: vannrox

Time to forget the 401K and buy that Porsche!


3 posted on 09/20/2005 5:28:58 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: vannrox

I ain't skeered.


4 posted on 09/20/2005 5:29:29 AM PDT by tongue-tied
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To: vannrox; Laura Earl

We're all gonna die! 2014? That gives me 9 years to max my credit cards out!


5 posted on 09/20/2005 5:30:28 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Ponce de Leon is coming here to look for the fountain of dumb. DC is his first stop.)
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To: vannrox

The French are already wondering who to surrender to.


6 posted on 09/20/2005 5:31:08 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan
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To: vannrox

We're DOOOMED!!!

Bush's Fault!!!!

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sorry, had to do it.


7 posted on 09/20/2005 5:31:12 AM PDT by roaddog727 (P=3/8 A. or, P=plenty...............)
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To: vannrox

Women and minorities effected the worst.


8 posted on 09/20/2005 5:31:19 AM PDT by JimWforBush (Alcohol - For the best times you'll never remember)
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To: Jet Jaguar

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61501


9 posted on 09/20/2005 5:32:51 AM PDT by JustRight
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To: tongue-tied

I Fear No Dust Cloud


10 posted on 09/20/2005 5:32:52 AM PDT by Sterco
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To: vannrox

If I understood this I'd probably be scared but since I don't, I'm not.


11 posted on 09/20/2005 5:33:13 AM PDT by Ditter
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http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1486733/posts

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1486563/posts


12 posted on 09/20/2005 5:33:24 AM PDT by Jet Jaguar
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To: vannrox

Mangled matter? I was trying to make sense out of the mechanism behind this, is that supposed to be anti-electrons?

Even if it were a cloud of anti-electrons headed towards Earth, it would probably produce a barely noticable light show in the atmosphere when if it hits, because it would be far too diffuse to do anything.


13 posted on 09/20/2005 5:33:49 AM PDT by Brett66 (Where government advances – and it advances relentlessly – freedom is imperiled -Janice Rogers Brown)
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To: vannrox

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public.


I'm sure glad they're not telling us about this !


14 posted on 09/20/2005 5:33:56 AM PDT by sawmill trash (You declare jihad ... we declare DEGUELLO !)
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To: vannrox

Weekly World News? LMAO!!


15 posted on 09/20/2005 5:33:59 AM PDT by conservativecorner
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To: vannrox
I went to school with a guy named "Dusty Cloud"!!!

He usually "disolved" after about four beers!

16 posted on 09/20/2005 5:34:01 AM PDT by LilDarlin (Being very feminine got me this far; it will get me the rest of the way, too!)
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To: vannrox

I guess I can be first....It's Bush's fault.


17 posted on 09/20/2005 5:35:06 AM PDT by Flint
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To: vannrox

It's Bushes fault.


18 posted on 09/20/2005 5:36:38 AM PDT by longfellow (Bill Maher, the 21st hijacker.)
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To: vannrox

Billy Mays could make a killing hawking this...


19 posted on 09/20/2005 5:37:01 AM PDT by LRS
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Don't panic.


20 posted on 09/20/2005 5:37:02 AM PDT by 2Jedismom (Doctor my eyes cannot be disguised. Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry?)
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