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PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
Latest News & Gossip - Weekly World News ^ | Monday September 12, 2005 | By MIKE FOSTER

Posted on 09/17/2005 4:22:39 PM PDT by Raycpa

PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
Monday September 12, 2005



By MIKE FOSTER

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!



Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.



But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.

"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: bushsfault; dontpanic
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To: Raycpa

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

Duh. Didn't Someone already predict such an event some 2000 years ago?


81 posted on 09/17/2005 5:45:43 PM PDT by auburntiger (Socialism is Tyranny disguised as Benevolence.)
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To: Raycpa
PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!

Don't we hve enough liberals already?

82 posted on 09/17/2005 5:47:46 PM PDT by TBP
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To: Raycpa

I imagine this cloud had a bad childhood.
Maybe we could send a Lib out to try to reason with it.


83 posted on 09/17/2005 5:49:18 PM PDT by mowowie
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To: Raycpa

One word: Uranus....


84 posted on 09/17/2005 5:53:09 PM PDT by freebilly (Go USF Baseball!)
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To: rscientist

"...Don't even get me started on the 3rd
dimension and orbital mechanics."

But...but...but I just sent out the doomed party invitations.


85 posted on 09/17/2005 5:54:22 PM PDT by Domestic Church (AMDG...)
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To: Raycpa
Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

See? I told you this was about liberals!

86 posted on 09/17/2005 6:04:06 PM PDT by TBP
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To: TBP
mangled information spewed from the hole.

Isn't this ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN ?

87 posted on 09/17/2005 6:06:29 PM PDT by Raycpa
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To: Raycpa
But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

Maybe God doesn't play dice, but apparently Pac Man is another matter.

88 posted on 09/17/2005 6:07:42 PM PDT by TBP
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To: Raycpa

Someone screwed up the math. The Mayan calendar ends in the year 2012. I learned that from the X-Files. :)


89 posted on 09/17/2005 6:12:48 PM PDT by manwiththehands
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To: Raycpa

Now is the time to invest in gold.


90 posted on 09/17/2005 6:15:35 PM PDT by auburntiger (Socialism is Tyranny disguised as Benevolence.)
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To: i_dont_chat
A complete waste of time. Can I have my minute back?

Noooo, sorry. But now you've caused me to waste a minute or so... Let's see, I'll be 63, if I live that long, ...

91 posted on 09/17/2005 6:22:28 PM PDT by TheGeezer
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To: Raycpa

 

Experts believe the chaos cloud
is composed of particles spawned
near the event horizon of a black hole
(a form of what's called Hawking
Radiation) that have been distorted
by mangled information spewed
from the hole.

 

92 posted on 09/17/2005 6:27:39 PM PDT by mikrofon (Hawking Radiation)
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To: Raycpa
swirling, 10 million-mile-wide cosmic dust cloud

Bah. I get one of those every time I vacuum.

93 posted on 09/17/2005 6:29:43 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: Raycpa

RUN FOR THE HILLS!

94 posted on 09/17/2005 6:41:41 PM PDT by Bassfire (freepin with a smile)
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To: Raycpa

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid"

OUCHIE!


95 posted on 09/17/2005 6:44:34 PM PDT by getmeouttaPalmBeachCounty_FL (Undocumented border patrol agent.)
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To: rwfromkansas
Streisand wants to know if FEMA will be ready.

Can we find enough school buses?

96 posted on 09/17/2005 6:45:37 PM PDT by KC Burke (Men of intemperate minds can never be free....)
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To: Raycpa

THE BORG


97 posted on 09/17/2005 7:11:01 PM PDT by kublia khan (absolute war brings total victory)
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To: Raycpa

We're doomed!

98 posted on 09/17/2005 8:28:12 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?)
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To: manwiththehands

You win! You're the first person on this thread to correctly spell "calendar."


99 posted on 09/17/2005 8:30:01 PM PDT by lakey
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To: Thinkin' Gal; mikrofon; Raycpa
C'mon now. There is only one image deserving of first place with the association of the words "spew" and "hole".


100 posted on 09/17/2005 8:54:57 PM PDT by Lijahsbubbe (To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world)
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