THE PERFECT MATCH
I have a smell joke from the James Herriott stories. There was a big old dog that his owner brought regularly to the veterinarian's office. The dog had a terrible flatulence problem that, incidentally, smelled horrible. The vet could barely stand to treat the dog, but the owner seemed oblivious to the stinky smells emanating from the mutt. One day, the vet (Herriott) made a house call to see the dog (that was in the old days in England). There was a vase of flowers on the dining table and the stinky dog was lying in the corner, farting profusely as usual. Herriott treated the dog, and as he was leaving he walked over and smelled the flowers on the table and commented on how wonderful they smelled. The dog's owner answered, "Well sir, I wouldn't know meself since I lost me sense of smell many long years ago."
Oh, and speaking of "match", a good cheap air freshener is simply to strike a match and let it burn for a few seconds, then blow it out. It covers odors very well, as does a window raised about an inch for a little while to allow fresh air into the room.
I've used matches as air freshner for many, many years but have you noticed that they're getting harder to find? Seems like ever since those handheld butane grill/candle lighters have come on the market matches are becoming obsolete.