Replies

Subject: POTENTIAL

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learned."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?!"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "So did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars but realistically, we're living with two sluts and a queer!

GOT TO LOVE EM - TENNESSEE
A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire
estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my
sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his
pickup truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking
age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?
Documentaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it
would have been called a teeth brush.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64
and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
and the driver replies "Bout wut?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery?
(Come on- this is funny!)
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too.
Both books- POOF - up in flames and
he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple
gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from
'round here are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania".
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya
do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What
in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
"The man says,"I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar...
"It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

Little Johnnie complains to his dad one night that he's very upset with his teacher... "Everyday after recess we have WORD OF THE DAY. The teacher asks us to use a word we've just learned in a sentence. I raise my hand everyday, but she never calls on me. She always calls on Mary."

The dad tells his son that tomorrow, if the teacher doesn't call on him, he should stand up and tell her that it's NOT fair....

Next day, after recess..teacher announces that today's word is "beautiful" and she reads them the definition from the dictionary. "Now, class" she asks, "who can use the word in a sentence?"

Some hands go up, and the teacher does indeed call on Mary again. Mary stands and says...

"As I was walking to school today, the sun was shining, the birds were singing. It's a beautiful day."

As the teacher compliments Mary, little Johnny jumps up and says that it's not fair, she never calls on him, and besides, he can use the word TWICE in the same sentence..

The teacher, to her credit, realizes that she hasn't called on Johnny before, apologizes to him, smiles and tells him to proceed with his example...

Litle Johnny, beaming, stands up and says,

"As I was having breakfast with my dad this morning, my 15 year old sister came downstairs and announced that she was pregnant."

"Beautiful" said my dad, "fu**ing beautiful!"