The very best ever
Posted on 07/29/2005 7:51:34 AM PDT by pissant
Keystone Light
You need 30 beers in one package but you only have $10. Also, for some reason you need to get drunk. There is a slight possibility that your taste buds were destroyed in some horrible accident during your days as a fire breather with a traveling freak show, enabling you to consume many Keystones without making a horrifed, disgusted face every time you swallow.
Bud Light
You need 30 beers in one package but you only have $10. Also, for some reason you need to get drunk. There is a slight possibility that your taste buds were destroyed in some horrible accident during your days as a fire breather with a traveling freak show, enabling you to consume many Keystones without making a horrifed, disgusted face every time you swallow.
Original Coors
You have never met me, because I don't know anyone who drinks this beer. I imagine, though, that you are some sort of mountain man with a scruffy beard who could use refreshment after spending weeks in the Rockies distancing himself from the trivialities of the modern world.
Corona Extra
You are married, live in the suburbs and are having friends over for a barbecue. There is also a chance that you really enjoy limes, but are having a difficult time working them into your diet. Small things amuse you and you enjoy watching the lime fizzle in the bottle after you stick your finger in and turn it upside down to achieve maximum limey pleasure.
Stag
Your stomach did something to make you angry and now you are returning the favor. You enjoy spending time on the toilet and will do it often for about three days if you drink a six pack of this beer-flavored laxative. Hunting is probably one of your hobbies and the red deer on the gold can is understandably difficult to pass up. Also, you may have lost a bet or are blind and could not tell which beer you were purchasing.
Guinness
You consider yourself something of a serious beer connoisseur. Undoubtedly you enjoy the occasional cup of coffee, as your choice of beer has a similar taste. When at a pub you like to partake in this brand because the foam on the top provides the opportunity for you to get a foam mustache and show your friends how funny you look. If you drink this beer regularly, you most likely claim some degree of Irish heritage. In all likelihood there was/is a "Guinness is Good For You" sign in your dorm/fraternity room/apartment.
Old Style (better known as Doggy Style)
You are at Wrigley Field watching the Cubs. There is no other excuse to drink this.
Michelob Ultra
You desire to be fit and attractive very much, but are unwilling to give up things—like beer drinking—that are necessary to achieve this goal. The word "carbs" was an important part of your vocabulary during the low carbs craze, but you are not really sure what the benefits of cutting carbs out of your diet might be. However, to be safe, you will drink a beer that claims to be low in carbs.
You have been quite slacking on the pings lately. Better ping Dasher before she gets all riled up again.
Must have had ZZ Top on the car radio. It makes one consume beer while driving! ;o)
You drink only hard alcohol, and you like it that way. Beer is for wimps who can't handle the real stuff. Wine is acceptable as a last resort, at meal times only.
Gotcha. :)
Indeed. Icy cold too.
When I was in college in the '70s we would go out and buy a case of "Iron City". IIRC you could pick it up for about $3. That's about all we could afford, but it was pretty darn good!
Red White and Blue Beer, bad memories there.
Got a keg of it on tap.
I wonder what that says about me.
You think that beer should be specifically mentioned on the Food Pyramid.
Anyone here remember Genesee Cream Ale? It sounds like it would taste really good, but it's only something your dad would drink.
I've had it. Years ago. Cleaned me out like Liquid Drain-O.
The very best ever
IC? You might as well have just started slurping up "water" from the Allegheny.
I remember Genesee Cream Ale. Grew up where it is brewed.
More distinctly I remember a condition called the "Genny Screamers"
Please don't ask to describe. Just let your imagination run wild, then figure the reality is twice as bad
I like Fullers ESB - bitter ales that make your tongue feeling like it's just been whacked by a tougue depressor, but I'm no beer snob - I'll fit in whatever's available - Hamm's is my guilty pleasure beer. Watery yes, but if you just mowing the lawn, watery is ok. "From the land of the sky blue waters!"
Once in a while - gotta hit one the high octane beers like EKU 28, or Samiclaus - it's always funny to see someone taste these for the first time!
Hey, it's not as bad as Pabst Blue Ribbon. The nasty little PBR's are like a hangover-headache-like-a-railroad-spike-in-the-temple, all in convenient 12 ounce cans.
"We used to get that crap cheap. Either that, red, White & Blue or Narragansett. About $6 a case when I was in high school. Load up the old station wagon!"
Genny Screamers, Old Topper and Carling Black Label
Man you'll even drink that crap warm when you're 16
Not that I ever did, but I had friends....
Holy Heck. Narangasett. I just brought that up in conversation YESTERDAY to someone. When I was 21 and a raging bad a$$ in my 86 camaro with t-tops, me and a gal pal made a plan to pick up the CHEAPEST beer we could find to drink before the game in the parking lot. Narangasett or is it Naragansett (I believe its the latter, but we always pronounced it like the former spelling - drunks that we were). I think it was 2.75 for a six pack in ye olde 1993. Ah, those were the days.
You enjoy beer that tastes like an aluminum can, even straight from the bottle.
What about Killians?
It hurt worse than after my skull fracture. That is saying something.
Dennis Hopper's take on PBR - (uses a bad word, careful with the volume)
http://tsbolton.com/booth/beertalk.wav
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