Beer statement:
You are too lazy to try any other beers and prefer whats on sale.
Your opinion is that while at work it matters slightly what people
think of you but off the job, public opinion can go play in traffic.
Posted on 07/29/2005 7:51:34 AM PDT by pissant
Keystone Light
You need 30 beers in one package but you only have $10. Also, for some reason you need to get drunk. There is a slight possibility that your taste buds were destroyed in some horrible accident during your days as a fire breather with a traveling freak show, enabling you to consume many Keystones without making a horrifed, disgusted face every time you swallow.
Bud Light
You need 30 beers in one package but you only have $10. Also, for some reason you need to get drunk. There is a slight possibility that your taste buds were destroyed in some horrible accident during your days as a fire breather with a traveling freak show, enabling you to consume many Keystones without making a horrifed, disgusted face every time you swallow.
Original Coors
You have never met me, because I don't know anyone who drinks this beer. I imagine, though, that you are some sort of mountain man with a scruffy beard who could use refreshment after spending weeks in the Rockies distancing himself from the trivialities of the modern world.
Corona Extra
You are married, live in the suburbs and are having friends over for a barbecue. There is also a chance that you really enjoy limes, but are having a difficult time working them into your diet. Small things amuse you and you enjoy watching the lime fizzle in the bottle after you stick your finger in and turn it upside down to achieve maximum limey pleasure.
Stag
Your stomach did something to make you angry and now you are returning the favor. You enjoy spending time on the toilet and will do it often for about three days if you drink a six pack of this beer-flavored laxative. Hunting is probably one of your hobbies and the red deer on the gold can is understandably difficult to pass up. Also, you may have lost a bet or are blind and could not tell which beer you were purchasing.
Guinness
You consider yourself something of a serious beer connoisseur. Undoubtedly you enjoy the occasional cup of coffee, as your choice of beer has a similar taste. When at a pub you like to partake in this brand because the foam on the top provides the opportunity for you to get a foam mustache and show your friends how funny you look. If you drink this beer regularly, you most likely claim some degree of Irish heritage. In all likelihood there was/is a "Guinness is Good For You" sign in your dorm/fraternity room/apartment.
Old Style (better known as Doggy Style)
You are at Wrigley Field watching the Cubs. There is no other excuse to drink this.
Michelob Ultra
You desire to be fit and attractive very much, but are unwilling to give up things—like beer drinking—that are necessary to achieve this goal. The word "carbs" was an important part of your vocabulary during the low carbs craze, but you are not really sure what the benefits of cutting carbs out of your diet might be. However, to be safe, you will drink a beer that claims to be low in carbs.
Schmitz? I've never heard of that one. Where's it brewed?
Um... you have a fridge full.
Its a beautiful world!
What a crock!!!
That is interesting, so there really isn't that much difference between the beer you can get in liquor stores and beer in convenience stores here in Oklahoma. Good luck trying to convince my buddies.
I'm partial to Shiner Bock and Shiner Blonde. My friends love Newcastle though. It is a little different from other beers.
Beer statement:
You are too lazy to try any other beers and prefer whats on sale.
Your opinion is that while at work it matters slightly what people
think of you but off the job, public opinion can go play in traffic.
Mimwaukee
Laying out on the ground will do that to a beer. Try buying it at the store.
Schmitz--animal beer! The only thing I could afford as a cash-strapped graduate student in a zoology department.
If my beer could talk, it'd yell, "She's a-drinkin' of us agin! Hayelp!"
And then the Twang would make it fizz too hard to talk.
No joke!
Twang does the same thing to me.
How so???
"Old Style (better known as Doggy Style)
You are at Wrigley Field watching the Cubs. There is no other excuse to drink this."
True. I organized a focus group a few years back for Old Style distributors in Chicago (through the hiring by an ad agency) to determine why people either quit drinking OS or went to Wrigley (mostly out-of-towners), drank OS and immediately switched to their regular brand once they left the park.
Two things that stood out..
1. Since Pabst now owns the OS label (but it's contract-brewed by Miller), they quit krausening (adding new yeast and some young beer to the fermented beer to clean up the taste and add some natural carbonation to it) the beer and it now tasted "different."
2. With beer brands, you have to throw advertising dollars at them in order to keep up some sort of loyalty. Pabst and Stroh, the former owner of the OS label, had put so little money into advertising the brand since the early 1990s that it was "out-of-sight, out-of-mind." We suggested putting more money into advertising and it was like somebody had justed farted in a small elevator. The distributors and the Pabst reps looked at each other, shuffled their feet, and just hung their heads until someone dropped a glass and caused a distraction.
A-B and Miller now controlled sponsorship for area softball teams, volley ball championships, local church and neighborhood events, small, somewhat low-cost events that connected with the joe six-pack crowd (the old Old Style drinkers). There was no way in the world that Pabst or the local distributors would spend big money for TV or radio (expect sometimes during some Cubs games).
Old Style once controlled over 40% of the market in Chicago. It's now just another abandoned brand, just as Schlitz is...another once proud beer brand that controlled the Chicago market in the mid-60s to early 70s.
The Wrigley Field phenomena and ordering Old Style was part of the "order Chicago products" syndrome. Out-of-towners would order a Vienna hot dog and an OS because it was so "Chicago"-ish.
Miller Lite is now the best-selling domestic beer in Chicago. Corona is the leading import.
I thought that was an interesting piece on a subject that's been hotly debated for decades.
I like Shiner Bock and Guinness, Bass Ale, Fosters (in the big cans), some of my own home brew (when I have time to brew up a batch) and I'll drink Corona, Bud, Bud Light, Natural Light, PBR, Busch, Miller or whatever you got in your cooler.
But I mostly drink Labatt because I like it and it goes good with a dip of Copenhagen.
Check this out. Got one on order. A fool and his money......
"Anyone here remember Genesee Cream Ale?"
I have a gag reflex simply reading the words on my screen.Smttz, Schlitz, Pabst,...ughhhg! I shudder at the thought. Just another example of how youth is wasted on the young.
Today, Yuengling Lager is the brew for me, too; efficiently priced, with uncompromised taste. Good in cans as well as bottle, therefore it is discreetly spirited into locations where longnecks are a problem. Local grown and strong enough to withstand assaults on the Constitution - like wacky, knuckleheaded ideas like Prohibiton
I think we should ping everyone to your age 7 -- lone star beer barfing story.
LOL!!
LOL! Was it Schmidt? Hey, I did get 70% on the beer quiz. Now I'm thirsty. All I know is I prefer Leinenkugel's for taste and Rainier for their old commercials.
Hold it right there, Lady!
Don't you know thinking is not allowed on a pissant threads??
LOL!
One of the reasons I remember it so well is that it was the first time I ever saw my very even-tempered Mother TRULY and TOTALLY pi$$ed!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.