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What Your Beer Says About You
National Lampoon ^ | 1/2005 | staff

Posted on 07/29/2005 7:51:34 AM PDT by pissant

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To: pissant

Schmitz? I've never heard of that one. Where's it brewed?


201 posted on 07/29/2005 12:08:00 PM PDT by atlaw
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To: big'ol_freeper

Um... you have a fridge full.


202 posted on 07/29/2005 12:10:12 PM PDT by Lil'freeper ("If you want to get happy, birthday cake is the way to go." -- Stephanie Plum)
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To: pissant
I never tried any of those. I've tried many, many IPAs- but for me nothing is better than Stone.

A funny story. I was at a wedding with Stone IPA on draft. Me and my friend knew that we had to drink slow because of 7.0% content. Nobody else paced themselves so the whole party was obliterated except for me... although I was pretty trashed.
203 posted on 07/29/2005 12:29:17 PM PDT by Porterville (Don't make me go Bushi on your a$$)
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To: Lil'freeper

Its a beautiful world!


204 posted on 07/29/2005 12:38:35 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought." Pope JPII)
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To: Woman on Caroline Street
market, whereas Coors Light is priced higher and promoted and packaged to be attractive to the "Look at me! I'm almost 21 and drinking BEER! I'm SOOOO Bad." The cans are usually found burnt and charred (somewhat...cans don't burn dummies) in a hillbilly firepit in the woods.

What a crock!!!

205 posted on 07/29/2005 12:40:10 PM PDT by processing please hold (Islam and Christianity do not mix ----9-11 taught us that)
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To: cowboyway

That is interesting, so there really isn't that much difference between the beer you can get in liquor stores and beer in convenience stores here in Oklahoma. Good luck trying to convince my buddies.

I'm partial to Shiner Bock and Shiner Blonde. My friends love Newcastle though. It is a little different from other beers.


206 posted on 07/29/2005 1:04:42 PM PDT by Mr. Blonde (You know, Happy Time Harry, just being around you kinda makes me want to die.)
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To: Allegra

Beer statement:

You are too lazy to try any other beers and prefer whats on sale.
Your opinion is that while at work it matters slightly what people
think of you but off the job, public opinion can go play in traffic.

207 posted on 07/29/2005 2:10:48 PM PDT by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: atlaw
Schmitz? I've never heard of that one. Where's it brewed?

Mimwaukee

208 posted on 07/29/2005 2:19:05 PM PDT by monkey
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To: SmithL
Anyone remember Falstaff? I never found two cans that tasted the same.

Laying out on the ground will do that to a beer. Try buying it at the store.

209 posted on 07/29/2005 2:20:38 PM PDT by monkey
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To: pissant

Schmitz--animal beer! The only thing I could afford as a cash-strapped graduate student in a zoology department.


210 posted on 07/29/2005 2:21:29 PM PDT by PeoplesRepublicOfWashington (Washington State--Land of Court-approved Voting Fraud.)
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To: Allegra; Bacon Man; Hap; humblegunner; Flyer

If my beer could talk, it'd yell, "She's a-drinkin' of us agin! Hayelp!"

And then the Twang would make it fizz too hard to talk.


211 posted on 07/29/2005 2:28:55 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: Xenalyte
And then the Twang would make it fizz too hard to talk.

No joke!

Twang does the same thing to me.

212 posted on 07/29/2005 2:31:08 PM PDT by Flyer ( * Post Grad - University of Google *)
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To: pbrown
What a crock!!!

How so???

213 posted on 07/29/2005 2:33:18 PM PDT by The SISU kid (Politicians are like Slinkies. Good for nothing. But you smile when you push them down the stairs)
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To: PeoplesRepublicOfWashington; pissant; All
Beer Slogan Quiz
214 posted on 07/29/2005 2:40:44 PM PDT by The SISU kid (Politicians are like Slinkies. Good for nothing. But you smile when you push them down the stairs)
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To: pissant

"Old Style (better known as Doggy Style)

You are at Wrigley Field watching the Cubs. There is no other excuse to drink this."

True. I organized a focus group a few years back for Old Style distributors in Chicago (through the hiring by an ad agency) to determine why people either quit drinking OS or went to Wrigley (mostly out-of-towners), drank OS and immediately switched to their regular brand once they left the park.

Two things that stood out..

1. Since Pabst now owns the OS label (but it's contract-brewed by Miller), they quit krausening (adding new yeast and some young beer to the fermented beer to clean up the taste and add some natural carbonation to it) the beer and it now tasted "different."

2. With beer brands, you have to throw advertising dollars at them in order to keep up some sort of loyalty. Pabst and Stroh, the former owner of the OS label, had put so little money into advertising the brand since the early 1990s that it was "out-of-sight, out-of-mind." We suggested putting more money into advertising and it was like somebody had justed farted in a small elevator. The distributors and the Pabst reps looked at each other, shuffled their feet, and just hung their heads until someone dropped a glass and caused a distraction.

A-B and Miller now controlled sponsorship for area softball teams, volley ball championships, local church and neighborhood events, small, somewhat low-cost events that connected with the joe six-pack crowd (the old Old Style drinkers). There was no way in the world that Pabst or the local distributors would spend big money for TV or radio (expect sometimes during some Cubs games).

Old Style once controlled over 40% of the market in Chicago. It's now just another abandoned brand, just as Schlitz is...another once proud beer brand that controlled the Chicago market in the mid-60s to early 70s.

The Wrigley Field phenomena and ordering Old Style was part of the "order Chicago products" syndrome. Out-of-towners would order a Vienna hot dog and an OS because it was so "Chicago"-ish.

Miller Lite is now the best-selling domestic beer in Chicago. Corona is the leading import.


215 posted on 07/29/2005 2:49:33 PM PDT by toddlintown (Your papers please.)
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To: Mr. Blonde
That is interesting, so there really isn't that much difference between the beer you can get in liquor stores and beer in convenience stores here in Oklahoma

I thought that was an interesting piece on a subject that's been hotly debated for decades.

I like Shiner Bock and Guinness, Bass Ale, Fosters (in the big cans), some of my own home brew (when I have time to brew up a batch) and I'll drink Corona, Bud, Bud Light, Natural Light, PBR, Busch, Miller or whatever you got in your cooler.

But I mostly drink Labatt because I like it and it goes good with a dip of Copenhagen.

Check this out. Got one on order. A fool and his money......

All Terrain Cooler

216 posted on 07/29/2005 2:56:54 PM PDT by cowboyway (My heroes have always been cowboys.)
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To: Woman on Caroline Street

"Anyone here remember Genesee Cream Ale?"

I have a gag reflex simply reading the words on my screen.Smttz, Schlitz, Pabst,...ughhhg! I shudder at the thought. Just another example of how youth is wasted on the young.

Today, Yuengling Lager is the brew for me, too; efficiently priced, with uncompromised taste. Good in cans as well as bottle, therefore it is discreetly spirited into locations where longnecks are a problem. Local grown and strong enough to withstand assaults on the Constitution - like wacky, knuckleheaded ideas like Prohibiton


217 posted on 07/29/2005 3:01:57 PM PDT by incredulous joe (Political correctness is simply tyranny with manners.)
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To: MamaTexan

I think we should ping everyone to your age 7 -- lone star beer barfing story.

LOL!!


218 posted on 07/29/2005 3:36:40 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (In life... the learning curve is vertical!)
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To: The SISU kid

LOL! Was it Schmidt? Hey, I did get 70% on the beer quiz. Now I'm thirsty. All I know is I prefer Leinenkugel's for taste and Rainier for their old commercials.


219 posted on 07/29/2005 3:38:19 PM PDT by PeoplesRepublicOfWashington (Washington State--Land of Court-approved Voting Fraud.)
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To: Dashing Dasher
I think we should ping everyone to your age 7 -- lone star beer barfing story.

Hold it right there, Lady!

Don't you know thinking is not allowed on a pissant threads??

LOL!

One of the reasons I remember it so well is that it was the first time I ever saw my very even-tempered Mother TRULY and TOTALLY pi$$ed!

220 posted on 07/29/2005 6:20:49 PM PDT by MamaTexan ( I'll TRY to behave........ I'll TRY to behave........ I'll TRY to behave........ ( Maybe))
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