[TheBigB]

Ping-dilly-icious!

[JimWforBush]

A Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an insurgent soldier badly injured and unconscious. Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert.



As first aid was given to both men, the Marine was asked what had happened. The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable low-life scumbag, and he yelled back that Teddy Kennedy is a rich, good-for-nothing fat drunk."



"We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us."

[fredhead]

Top Ten Signs Your Neighbor is Batman 10. Always complaining about his "rubber suit rash" 9. When you mention Superman, he rolls his eyes and mutters, "pantywaist" 8. His teen son drove to the prom in the Batmobile 7. Is re-roofing his house to fix loose shingles and grappling hook damage 6. Who's banging on his door at 4 AM but an angry, knocked-up Catwoman 5. Introduces his parents--Carl and Linda Batman 4. You hear him on the phone asking J. Crew if they carry seersucker cowls 3. On Thanksgiving, you see green lantern holding a JELL-O mold 2. When he goes on vacation, asks if you'll water his plants and grease his bat pole 1. He's a recluse in a weird outfit with a young sidekick ( Sorry, that's a sign your neighbor is Michael Jackson)

[day10]

Classic Dilbert for OFST:

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Good morning TheBigB we missed you.

Thanks for the Batman pic, I love a man with hard rubber nipples!!!

Speaking of nipples did you see this, a man's nipples are not just for piercing and pleasure anymore. (It is a FR thread.

[Dallas59]

[Tenacious 1]

"Democrats opnions are never wrong because they are always fact." "How can you say that? Opnions are not facts." "It becomes fact when it is understood as truth. It was in the New York times. It is truth, therefore it is fact."

"Gather 'round here, my fellow liberal lemmings. Less you hear and believe what I say........"

And so went the Democrats with their media thugs into the annals of forgotten days.......

[eyespysomething]

[Hoodlum91]

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven.


When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"


So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.


Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.


St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"


The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.


The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ! ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.


She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.



St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.



The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"


The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

[The_Victor]

Hey B. Glad you're with us.

"Pie Jesu Domine, Donna eis Requiem"

*thwock*

[Dallas59]

[EHC Southern Pride]

HAPPY FRIDAY YA'LL!!!!!

The How To Get-Along-At-Work List

What you say: I'm not sure that' feasible
What you mean: No way a$$hole

What you say: Really
What you mean: You gotta be s@*%%^n me!

What you say: I'm a bit over loaded at the moment
What you mean: Screw it, I'm on salary

What you say: Of course I'm concerned
What you mean: Ask me if I give a s*#@

What you say: You don't say?
What you mean: Eat s#*!

What you say: Excuse me?
What you mean: Eat s#*! and die

What you say: Excuse me, Sir?
What you mean: Eat s#*! and die, a$$hole

What you say: So you'd like my help with that?
What you mean: Kiss my a$$

What you say: I love a challenge.
What you mean: This job sucks

What you say: I see
What you mean: Blow me

[cowboyway]

Six guys walk into a bar; an Irishman, an American Indian, a German, a Priest, a Rabbi and a Baptist minister.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

[Constitution Day]

Are You A Prostitute?
If you're confused, this sign will help you sort it out...

[Dallas59]

[Millee]

Just got this via email. Pretty funny! Happy Friday!!http://www.koreus.com/files/200505/men-in-coats.html

[IN Farm Girl]

INDIANA WOMEN

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Alabama and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said that it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes.

The second man had married a woman from Kentucky. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Indiana girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a lawn care service.

Gotta love those Hoosier girls!

[Dallas59]

[ArGee]

Welcome Back B.

It just wasn't Friday without ya'.

I'm not really sure what it was, though.

I mean, it did fall between Thursday and Saturday and it did consume 24 hours.

I'd have a hard time explaining that 24 hours to anyone if pressed.

But it wasn't Friday, I tell ya'.

Shalom.

[martin_fierro]