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1 posted on 06/11/2005 2:26:04 AM PDT by american_ranger
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To: american_ranger

No, she's left handed!


2 posted on 06/11/2005 2:26:38 AM PDT by american_ranger
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To: american_ranger
But pa, her little ol' arm gets so tired.
4 posted on 06/11/2005 6:05:01 AM PDT by cowboyway (My heroes have always been cowboys.)
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To: american_ranger

"Get off me Daddy, you're crushin' ma cigarettes!"


5 posted on 06/11/2005 6:17:42 AM PDT by metesky (President; The People's Committee Against People's Committees)
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To: american_ranger

Give her another chance!! Give her another chance!!


6 posted on 06/11/2005 6:18:49 AM PDT by MikefromOhio (10,000 posts by 29 June!!! 9,682 or so replies and counting)
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To: american_ranger

The groom replied, "Sure I could do it again, but I can't fit another baked potato up my butt."


7 posted on 06/11/2005 6:21:18 AM PDT by ovrtaxt (...a sheep in wolf's clothing)
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To: american_ranger

"No deer. A$$ too high, run too fast."


8 posted on 06/11/2005 7:14:21 AM PDT by EggsAckley
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To: american_ranger

"You wan...beef with brocceri?"


9 posted on 06/11/2005 7:19:03 AM PDT by TADSLOS (Right Wing Infidel since 1954)
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To: american_ranger
"YEEEEAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!"
11 posted on 06/11/2005 10:05:10 AM PDT by DTogo (U.S. out of the U.N. & U.N out of the U.S.)
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To: american_ranger
"But for sure that's Willie Nelson in the middle"...

"Welcome to Jamaica - Have a nice day"...

"The graveyard shift at Waffle House"...

12 posted on 06/11/2005 10:20:47 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Like a fool, I looked up from 'neath the tree as the bird chirped...)
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To: american_ranger

She ain't good enough for her own kin, she ain't good enough for us.


13 posted on 06/11/2005 12:27:51 PM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: american_ranger

- Those are for the funeral.

- Because there are 20 of them.

- "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

- "Well, you could start by buying me a drink."

- ... smack him again!

- "Getting a second opinion!"

- "What is this, a joke?"

- Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be alive!

- "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

- The guy says, "I said BAD DOG!"

- "Because I love the chocolate that surrounds each peanut."


14 posted on 06/11/2005 3:10:35 PM PDT by upchuck (If our nation be destroyed, it would be from the judiciary." ~ Thomas Jefferson)
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To: american_ranger

And this gentleman would like to purchase the other half.


16 posted on 06/11/2005 3:23:50 PM PDT by fanfan (" The liberal party is not corrupt " Prime Minister Paul Martin)
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To: american_ranger

"The bad news is He's calling from Salt Lake City"


20 posted on 06/11/2005 6:49:27 PM PDT by muir_redwoods (Free Sirhan Sirhan, after all, the bastard who killed Mary Jo Kopeckne is walking around free)
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To: american_ranger

You walk the elephant and pitch to the kangaroo.


28 posted on 06/11/2005 8:40:06 PM PDT by Hoboken
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To: american_ranger

And when the plane landed, there was the dog on the wing, smoking a cigar.

(It's the only one I can think of that's appropriate for posting on a family-oriented website. What does that say about the jokes I know?)


30 posted on 06/11/2005 9:19:30 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: american_ranger

"For great justice."


31 posted on 06/11/2005 9:27:32 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: american_ranger

And then he says 'surprise, surprise, that's not my pinky!'


32 posted on 06/11/2005 9:29:12 PM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: american_ranger

"Pepper"


35 posted on 06/12/2005 6:31:02 AM PDT by dread78645 (Sorry Mr. Franklin, We couldn't keep it.)
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To: american_ranger
"I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lawinsky...."
43 posted on 06/12/2005 10:58:36 AM PDT by llevrok (Semper Conservatatis)
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To: american_ranger

Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?


44 posted on 06/12/2005 9:35:38 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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