*** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD - Extra Super-Special STAR WARS Edition! ***

6/3/05 | TheBigB

[TheBigB]

YAHOOOOOO! It's FRIIIIIIDAAAAAY! Today, in honor of REVENGE OF THE SITH (which I ain't seen yet, but am gonna), we proudly present the TOP 10 COOLEST THINGS IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE...

10. The Imperial Walkers Who wouldn't sh** a brick watching one of these things coming over the horizon?

9. R2D2 and Chewie’s 3D chess game with the lil' monsters "He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help."

8. Red Three’s cheesy porn ‘stache goes without saying.

7. Jabba’s floating party barge Say what you will about the man; he knew how to travel in style

6. The Millennium Falcon "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

5. Cloud City Unles you got drunk and actually fell over the side. Which would suck.

4. Leia's gold bikini Jabba also had exceptionally good taste in swimwear

3. Natalie Portman's tummy

2. Yoda The most ass-kickingest muppet this side of Sam the American Eagle!

Aaaaaaand Number One...

1. Darth Vader The biggest, baddest, most scariest This-is-the-way-we-do-it-on-the-Death Star, beeyotch, badaaassssss...

[thag]

No...that is NOT Thag holding the highlighted sign!!!

Thag not totally stupid...even after Ben Gay on disco balls.....

[JimWforBush]

Here's a semi-badass.

[Auntbee]

They never do. Picture of Mel would be nice.

[BJClinton]

[Fierce Allegiance]

Harley Davidson meets God



The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur
Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.
Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man
and your motorcycles have changed the world, your
reward will be to hang out with anyone you want in
Heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then
said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took
Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you
were the one who invented the Harley Davidson
motorcycle?" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me." God
commented, "So what's the big deal in inventing
something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and
pollution, and can't run without a road?" Arthur was
apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me,
but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Umm,
yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to
professional, you have some major design flaws in your
invention: 1. There's too much inconsistency in the
front-end protrusion; 2. It chatters constantly at
high speeds; 3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and
wobble too much; 4. The intake is placed way too close
to the exhaust; 5. And the maintenance costs are
outrageous!!" "Hmmmm, you may have some good points
there," replied God, "Hold on." God went to his
Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and
waited for the results. The computer printed out a
slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true
that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but
according to these numbers, more men are riding my
invention than yours."

[Auntbee]

Oh come on. Just this once. Please.

[AnOldCowhand]

Useless. No meat, all bone

This dawg will take those bones.

[Fierce Allegiance]

Still slim pickings, but the best possibility, true.

[TheBigB]

Happy now? :-)

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

"Thag not totally stupid...even after Ben Gay on disco balls..... "

Don't worry, you will recover from the incident.

I thought I warned you about putting anything gay on your body!!

[The_Victor]

Here is what I found on 'WORD DETECTIVE'====

...

Nope, not helping. Knowing the origin isn't removing the image.

What do call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A quaterpounder with cheese.

[peacebaby]

The one I identify with: > People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

[najida]

YES!

Amen sister!

[StarCMC]

*yo son's name is Luke. I have been hearing "I'm Your Father, Luke" quite often since he was born! LOL!

[Lady Jag]

BEEFCAKE

[tomkow6]

Better?

[backinthefold]

 
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ...

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it’s really good pay.

[Petronski]

NYC-bound Virgin Air Flight 45 squawking Hijack code; being diverted to New Brunswick, Canada

[Auntbee]

Not exactly what I had in mind.

[neb52]

It's my understanding that they are not gay anymore. The dark haired one(Lena?) has a boyfriend and the two girls don't live with each other anymore. ssiiigghh!