Posted on 06/03/2005 7:01:55 AM PDT by TheBigB
YAHOOOOOO! It's FRIIIIIIDAAAAAY! Today, in honor of REVENGE OF THE SITH (which I ain't seen yet, but am gonna), we proudly present the TOP 10 COOLEST THINGS IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE...
10. The Imperial Walkers Who wouldn't sh** a brick watching one of these things coming over the horizon?
9. R2D2 and Chewie’s 3D chess game with the lil' monsters "He made a fair move. Screaming about it won't help." 
8. Red Three’s cheesy porn ‘stache goes without saying. 
7. Jabba’s floating party barge Say what you will about the man; he knew how to travel in style 
6. The Millennium Falcon "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid." 
5. Cloud City Unles you got drunk and actually fell over the side. Which would suck. 
4. Leia's gold bikini Jabba also had exceptionally good taste in swimwear 
3. Natalie Portman's tummy
2. Yoda The most ass-kickingest muppet this side of Sam the American Eagle! 
Aaaaaaand Number One...
1. Darth Vader The biggest, baddest, most scariest This-is-the-way-we-do-it-on-the-Death Star, beeyotch, badaaassssss... 
Alkali Ike's Zippers
"Now speakin' of Zippers," sez Alkali Ike,
"Them zippers is sumpthin' I really don't like.
I aimed to buy clothes like I always had wore,
Till I started a lookin' around in the store.
They had some new shirts and some new overalls,
That fastened with zippers, no buttons aytall.
I reckoned that clothes with a riggin' like that
Would be fine fer the boys on the Alkali Flat.
Because where there's alkali water to drink,
Things may happen sooner than what you might think.
So I got me some clothes that was rigged up like that,
And went back to my camp on the Alkali Flat.
Next mornin' I'd traveled fer mebby a mile,
When the time come to give them new zippers a trial.
I grabbed at the handle and give 'em a jerk
But holey old golden, them zippers don't work.
I swear and I sweat, I am shore out of luck.
I've started it crooked, the zipper is stuck.
I fuss and I pull till I git the thing straight,
Then the zipper it works, but a little too late.
The next thing I do is to throw them new garments
Up onto a cactus fer ants and fer varmints.
And I reckon that buttons is safer at that,
Fer the fellers that lives on the Alkali Flat.
-Bruce Kiskaddon
"Why cheese cake for pics of babes?"
It's something B started.
Already? It's Friday?
Oy vey,
I need more coffee.
Oh no not that again! lol
Why than you, thank you very much. </elvis voice
ROTFLMAO
I thought the same thing!
Darth Drunkenkiller.
I hear she" fast" too. Meow!
My condolences. I am building a shed with cable & a lazy-boy. I have 4 girls. #2 turns 12 at the end of the month.
>> Why men are just happier
>>
>> Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
>> Your last name stays put.
>> The garage is all yours.
>> Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>> Chocolate is just another snack.
>> You can be President.
>> You can never be pregnant.
>> You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
>> You can wear NO shi! rt to a water park.
>> Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
>> The world is your urinal.
>> You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
>> You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
>> Same work, more pay.
>> Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
>> People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
>> The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
>> New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>> One mood all the time.
>> Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>> You know stuff! about tanks.
>> A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase .
>> You can open all of your own jars.
>> You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>> If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
>> Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>> Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
>> You almost never have strap problems in public.
>> You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
>> Everything on your face stays its original color. >>
>> The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
>> You only have to shave your face and neck.
>> You can play with toys all your life.
>> Your belly usually hides your big hips.
>> One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
>> ! You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look.
>> You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
>> You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>> You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
>>
>>
>> No wonder men are happier.
>>
LOL somehow I see you doing this later on in life. Should I be worried?? :o)
Hey, aren't TATU's 15 minutes up yet? ;)
Or teeth.
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