Posted on 05/16/2005 2:58:43 PM PDT by PetroniDE
The RINO lead Taxes (Texas) State Legislature is still in session. People of Taxes, hang on to your wallets. As a sideshow to the debate regarding various forms of taxes (i.e. property, payroll, sales, etc.) the issue of legalized casino gambling in Texas has surfaced. Should it become legal (not likely), here are a few rules suggestions (since it will be advertised as helping children). The kitties will demonstrate.
Blackjack Made Counter-Proof.
Splitting of all pairs (except Aces) are mandatory.
Splitting of aces is not permitted at all.
All Winning Bets Subject to 10% Withholding.
Example: You are betting $20 at blackjack.
You lose, you lose $20. You win, you win $18, It's for the children.
P.S. All payoffs not in dollar increments are rounded down.
Hey Bud, You Should Stand on Soft 16 (A-5), You Could Go Over 21.
Beware of "Empty" Slot/Video Machines.
You win a large amount on a slot machine.
In trying to pay you off, machine runs out of coins.
Remainder of payoff is forfeited to the state. It's for the children.
P.S. Don't buy cigarettes; you can purchase them, but you can't smoke them.
WAAAH – Machine Took All My Catnip 
Craps Renamed To (Another Four Letter Word, Starts With "S").
Same 10% withholding/round down on winning bets (similar to Blackjack).
No betting against the shooters.
All bets, once made, can't be taken down.
Dice are loaded against the shooters.
Proposition bets paid with counter-feit chips. Real chips are for the children.
Darn – Cat Rolled Another Seven – Bad Cat 
Poker Texas Politician Style.
You are playing with marked cards.
House allowed to have three players at table
House players allowed to consolidate their hands.
All buy-ins are played to the finish.
Players can't leave the table until their money is gone. It's for the children.
I Raise !! 
Sorry I'm Late ---- PING....
Next week thread will be on time -- I PROMISE.
Sorry I'm Late ---- PING....
Next week thread will be on time -- I PROMISE.
[Freepmail me to get on or off the Kitty Ping List.]
And I'll raise you a...
Does your kitty play Sheepshead? I'm looking for a fifth player :)
That better be one tiny kitten, or they are fake!!!
Very Funny. (Actually, it is good). Now I need to figure out how to do a still shot.
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