Posted on 05/13/2005 1:27:53 PM PDT by pissant
Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc.
5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8. Hangovers go away.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15. A beer always goes down easy.
16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19. Beer is always wet.
20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
21. You can have a beer in public.
22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
26. Good beer costs less than good women.
27. A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top.
28. Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you.
29. A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed.
30. You can't get thrown in jail for having a beer under the grandstand at halftime.
31. Afterwards, a beer won't feel guilty, cry, propose, call her mother, your ex-wife or her therapist.
32. Beer never bugs you to have little beers.
33. If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers.
34. Beers don't want a lasting relationship.
35. A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic.
36. After you've put your lips to a beer, a beer never asks, "What are you doing?"
37. Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of.
38. You can have a beer on your lunch hour.
39. A beer never wants to stay up afterwards talking about respect.
40. A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.
I was watching the "Hollow Men" on Comedy Central and they had a commericial where the guy says "You can put your pec**r in an woman". Very funny, had to see.
to much beer, my dear, and you'll plop youreslf into the toilet w/o checking to see the seat is up. I know its happened many times before!
1. You don't need to hide your fishing magazines.
2. It's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in awhile.
3. The 10 Commandments don't say anything about fishing.
4. If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you fishing you don't need to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
5. Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.
6. It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.
7. When you see a really good fisher person, you don't need to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing together.
8. If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.
9. Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.
10. When dealing with a fishing pro, you never have to worry if they are really an undercover cop.
11. You can have a fishing calendar on the wall at the office, tell jokes and invite coworkers to fish with you without getting sued for harassment.
12. There are no fishing transmitted diseases.
13. If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't need to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
14. Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
15. Nobody expects you to give up fishing if your partner loses interest in it.
16. Your fishing partner will never say ' Not again? We just fished last week. Is fishing all you ever think about?'
:-p
I like #16. LOL.
We have the SAME schedule PB!!
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
A way to funny & true BUMP!
Yeah but if you ain't the lead dog the scenery never changes.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Under Why Beer Is Better Than Men, item # 4, there's a perfectly good reason why this occurs. The man does most of the work and the woman gets most of the pleasure, therefore the spot is hers. Women really appreciate you explaining this to them, it shows you're sensitive or some rot like that. You're welcome.
Yeah, I got it right here.
Thanks BD. I can ALWAYS count on you!
However, beers don't cook supper, do laundry,wash dishes,etc.
Thanks for posting those breasts!
If you have enough beer you don't care about that crud. :^)
Leni
Supper? Isn't that why they invented 7-11 burritos?
ADD THAT TO THE LIST! LOL
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