Posted on 05/12/2005 10:33:39 AM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . .
I'm sorry. What was the question?
Wouldn't change the bulb, would break it.
...or he spending a lot of time inspecting his shoes. LOL
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LOL!! Well, I don't have PMS, so...
"Toots" resembles that remark...LOL
Been there...doing that. I've got to tell you, hot flashes are a bee-yotch.
Ping
How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Only one, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
How many football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- An entire team, and they all get a semesters credit for it.
How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- It depends on whather it has medical insurance.
How many fatalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- It doesn't matter, We're all going to die anyway.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write about how it felt.
- Three. One to screw it in, and two to talk about the sexual implications.
- Four. One to change the bulb, and three to write about how the bulb is exploiting the socket.
- Three. One to change the bulb, and two to secretly wish they were the socket.
- Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to kick the balls of any man who even tries to volunteer his help.
How many investment brokers does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- "My god, it burnt out ! Sell all my general electric stock, NOW !!!"
How many cops does it take to screw n a lightbulb ?
- None. It turned itself in.
How many automechanics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Five. One to force it with a hammer, and four to go out for more lightbulbs.
How many bankers does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
How many christian scientist does ot take to screw in a lightbulb ?
- None. But it takes at least three to sit and prey for the old one to come back on.
How many windows programmers does it tae to change a lightbulb ?
- 391. One to write "WinGetLightBulbHandle",
one to write "WinGetLightBulbStatus",
one to write "WinGetLight.......
How many Technical Support folks does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- We have an exact copy of the bulb here, and it appears to work fine. Can You tell me what kind af system You have ? Okay, exactly how dark is it ? Okay, there could be four or five things wrong.... Have You tried the light switch ???
How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Eight. One to change the bulb, and seven more to make sure Microsoft gets $2 every time a lightbulb is changed anywhere in the world.
How many Beta-testers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- We noticed the darkness; We didn't actually fix the problem.
How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- None. He'll only promise change.
How many Apple Employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Seven. one to change the bulb, and six to design the T-shirt.
How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- I don't know, but I could look it up for You.
How many Psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Just one. But the bulb has to really WANT to change.
How many fishermen does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Five. And You should have seen the bulb, it must have been THIS big.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- That's all right, I'll just sit in the darkness.
How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- Three. One to screw in an Art Deco bulb, and two to shriek, "Fabulous!"
I am happy all of the time, unless someone gets under my skin like yesterday.
why the hell you pinging me to a PMS thread? i am sweetness and light all the dang time.
As many as you can afford.
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LOL!!
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
OR
A': Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' f***N' business!
OR
A': 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.
How many amish does it take to screw in a (electric) light bulb ?
None?
Please Please Please, bottle it, sell it, give it away,.......... that immunity can change the course of human development, save untold lives, bankrupt certain pharmacies and totally destroy feminazi supported perpetual PMSing!!!!!
PS- if unavailable for bottling, can I clone you? :-)
Back when I had the potential for PMS... I used to get sappy and weepy the Friday before the Tuesday of - if you know what I mean.
I heard women who haven't had children don't get menopause as bad. Do you know if there is any truth to that? Just wondering.
Hah! I love the Jewish mother one.
...
naaahh, too easy...
Do women who kill their kids have less menopause.
They certainly have less stress.
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