How dare you discriminate against Snakes in the Grass! I like Hillary!
/Sarcasm off
Posted on 05/10/2005 7:11:28 AM PDT by dead
A FEMALE university security guard who decided to defecate in a bushy area because toilets were too far, got more than she had bargained for when she was bitten by a snake on her buttocks.
The 29-year-old woman who is employed by a private security company contracted to the National University of Science and Technology in Bulawayo gave out a scream when the snake struck her bottom, alerting her colleagues who rushed to her aid.
A university spokesman said the woman who declines to be named was to blame, charging: "She knows where the toilets are."
According to the Bulawayo Chronicle, the woman chose to relieve herself in the bush because there were no toilets near the main entrance where she was manning the gate.
Recounting her ordeal, she said: "I felt a painful sting and I ran screaming for help towards my colleagues. However, that is all I can remember because when I woke up I found myself in a hospital bed."
Other guards who came to her aid say they saw a snake escaping into the thick bush on an adjacent piece of land to the university and immediately summoned for an ambulence. She was admitted for two nights at the nearby United Bulawayo Hospitals.
Another guard told the Chronicle: “The situation is really pathetic as we are exposed to danger because we are forced to use the bush as a toilet. We have tried to ask the university to build some toilets for us on several occasions, but up to now they have not done anything about it."
Felix Moyo, the university's director of public relations had no sympathy for the guard.
“I heard that there was a female security guard who was bitten by a snake, but I am not sure what she was doing at the time. However, if she was relieving her self in the bushes then that is not the university’s fault as they know where the nearest toilets are if they need to relieve themselves,” he said.
Then perhaps the woman needs some potty training.
Francis has lightened up.
Nam Vet
P.S. Sorry about the comment, but when I saw your screenname I had to chuckle.
Sounds like the voice of experience there.
Nam Vet
So, she got a bum's rush.....Rush from a bite on her rushing bum.....
Thank you, and I hope you have a great day!
Haven't we all?
i don't have time to read this article, but was it Drew Barrymore or Cameron Diaz who was bitten?
Remember the LA Law story where the two lawyers use poison ivy leaves to clean up after pooping in the woods while camping.
No lasting damage, apparently. A few episodes later they went venus butterflying in the bushes ...
So you've heard the joke?
Two men are walking out of the desert. One stops to relieve himself and is bitten on his wedding tackle, right on the end. The other man treats for shock, then he flips open his cell phone to call 911.
The dispatcher puts the second man through to a doctor. The doctor says, "Based on your location, and where he was bitten, the likelihood of your friend's system shutting down as a result of the venom's accelerated entry into the bloodstream. I recommend, as off-putting as it may be, to make an incision directly over the bite and suck the poison out to the extent you can. This will buy emergency units enough time to get to your friend."
The second man thanks the doctor, then hangs up.
The man with the bite asks his friend, "So what does the doctor say?"
The second replies, "He says you are going to die my friend, I'm sorry . . ."
How dare you discriminate against Snakes in the Grass! I like Hillary!
/Sarcasm off
Someone should send this to the environmental whackos who want to do away with toilets!
I knew a guy who wiped his butt with stinger nettle leaves.
I was crossing a street in the paradise of San Francisco and saw a naked man urinating on a parked car.
I pulled out my camera and started to take a photo when a cop walked up to me and started shouting that I was obstructing traffic and he would ticket me if I didn't keep moving.
I pointed towards the naked man and said, "What about him?"
It just made the cop angrier, so I kept moving.
ROTFLMPO !!!
Hard to choose amongst the contenders for First Prize on this thread, but I have to say that "Good thing she didn't try to poop on a lion." is tough to argue with - though post#32's non-comment is in the running, too.
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http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1400188/posts?page=113#113
OK: it is time to get you two over here for some real discussion... LOL
Man, do I ever hate it when THAT happens. That'll ruin your whole day.
That bites!
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