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SPECIAL BULLETIN !!
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| 05/04/05
| vanity
Posted on 05/04/2005 4:51:43 AM PDT by genefromjersey
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To: genefromjersey
2
posted on
05/04/2005 4:52:58 AM PDT
by
clee1
(We use 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 2 to pull a trigger. I'm lazy and I'm tired of smiling.)
To: genefromjersey
To: genefromjersey
4
posted on
05/04/2005 4:56:53 AM PDT
by
AppyPappy
(If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
To: genefromjersey
I propose we do a pun/shaggy dog story/joke thread, but only post the punchlines!
I'll start:
"The squaw on the hippopotomus is equal to the son of the squaws on the two hides"
5
posted on
05/04/2005 4:58:05 AM PDT
by
ko_kyi
To: genefromjersey
Dang, that is a deal! They're $2.99 each in my neck of the woods. ;-)
6
posted on
05/04/2005 4:58:34 AM PDT
by
Quilla
To: genefromjersey
Just for that... you get this !
7
posted on
05/04/2005 4:58:56 AM PDT
by
fieldmarshaldj
(*Gregoire is French for Stealing an Election*)
To: genefromjersey
SPECIAL BULLETIN !!
You naughty, naughty freeper you.
To: genefromjersey
Absolutely the best joke I ever heard in my life.
Lettuce now all clap in unison for this memorable vanity.
Leni
9
posted on
05/04/2005 5:01:00 AM PDT
by
MinuteGal
("The Marines keep coming. We are shooting, but the Marines won't stop !" (Fallujah Terrorists)
To: genefromjersey
10
posted on
05/04/2005 5:02:59 AM PDT
by
oceanperch
(It's not those who know their crazy that worry me. Watching my back for the ones claiming sanity.)
To: genefromjersey; ko_kyi
Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?
11
posted on
05/04/2005 5:04:39 AM PDT
by
bd476
To: bd476
"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"
An absolute classic.
12
posted on
05/04/2005 5:08:30 AM PDT
by
ButThreeLeftsDo
(Carry Daily, Apply Sparingly.)
To: bd476
He was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.
13
posted on
05/04/2005 5:08:37 AM PDT
by
ko_kyi
To: ko_kyi
Okay. . .
"If a sheep is a ram and a donkey an ass. . .why is a ram in the ass a goose?"
To: bd476
I can't remember his name, but his face rings a bell.
15
posted on
05/04/2005 5:12:20 AM PDT
by
ko_kyi
To: genefromjersey
Ouch. Do you have any idea how old that is? My grandfather used to tell that joke.
16
posted on
05/04/2005 5:12:24 AM PDT
by
cripplecreek
(I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!)
To: genefromjersey
I see that you really liked this joke...
Speaking of husbands and wives:
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience,
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba and Junior
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
17
posted on
05/04/2005 5:13:46 AM PDT
by
Pillows
To: fieldmarshaldj
I was on a flight from St Loius to Wash DC. . .27th of Apr.
She was on that flight. . .wearing the same black dress and pearls. . . AND white old lady tennis shoes. . .and gnawing and nibbling from a bag of candies.
Dressed like that, hunched over, nibbling, she looked every bit the bag lady. . .she has definitely lost it (if she ever had it to begin with).
To: genefromjersey
19
posted on
05/04/2005 5:15:40 AM PDT
by
Nick Danger
(Honey, Intel wants to go outside)
To: genefromjersey
A super-calloused, fragile mystic with expert halitosis.
20
posted on
05/04/2005 5:18:15 AM PDT
by
MaryFromMichigan
(The koala tea of Mercy is not strained)
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